Eyes see beyond
by Chandramas
Summary: AU from Season 7: Spike is back, and he's not alone.
1. Prologue

Disclaimer 1:

I just invented a couple of characters (Lilea, Navarre... the Gulthias demon), not much, all the others are created by the God Joss' mind... (THANKS GOD!) but when someone asked him how the fan could survive after the Buffy's end he said: "They can write fanfic." so I'm using them now, because I love them, and I miss the TV-show soooo much.

Spoiler: The fanfic is set after Spike went in Africa, but he didn't come back in Sunnydale as he did in Season 7.

Disclaimer2:

Honestly when I started this fanfic I didn't know about Dare Devil existence, so Lilea isn't inspired by him at all! I started this a couple of days after the last episode of season six, and I based it on the spoiler there was around in the summer (Spike's being back and Buffy having a job in the high school.)

Well I changed something:. Spike's crypt is still available and his bed is downstairs, Wood exists, but since I hadn't any knowledge of him apart from his name when I wrote about him, he's quite a normal principal with a herbal-tea passion. (I made him a little British-like, but not too much)

I use the +word+ in order to give emphasis on words.

Feedback are very welcome

**Prologue**

_June 2002_

Blood.

Her blood.

She could feel that it was flowing from the reopened injuries in her lower abdomen. She was so weak, she couldn't fight anymore. Her arms were immobilized and so were her legs. They forced her to lie on the ground.

"Please… leave me… I didn't do anything… PLEASE… I…"

"Shut up!" One voice told her. She couldn't see anything. She didn't know where she was.

"Please…" She felt one hand check her stomach.

"The bitch is bleeding."

"Who cares? She will be dead before the dawn."

"Navarre..." she whispered

"I said shut up!" She felt someone hit her in the face. Others were binding her wrists securely.

"Navarre... Navarre help me!!!" She cried louder, trying to escape again.

She felt one hand close over her mouth to silence her.

She struggled helplessly to free herself.

-O-

A motorbike whirred flying faster and faster away into the silence of the night.

The darkly dressed biker didn't care. He was trying to escape from something, most horrifying and to not avail. He couldn't run fast enough to escape from himself, from his past. He rode with the speed of the wind but his memories flew even faster, he couldn't escape them.

He saw a shadow not too far ahead the road, a motionless shadow. He decreased his speed a little, in order to look at it better. An animal was staring at him even though it was still quite far away.

The foolish beast didn't move even when he got closer.

'The first suicidal animal in history. Damn it!'

He swerved again, and again it followed, keeping its gaze fixed on his eyes.

The driver slammed on the brakes.

He stared at the wolf for a long moment. "Ok, buddy, what kind of demon are you?"

He stared at what appeared to be a wolf for a long moment.

The animal didn't move, nor even flinched.

"I've had a bad week, so don't piss me off, mate, get out of my way."

The blond guy was about to try to ride off, when a scream shattered the silent night.

A woman's scream.

The biker, instinctively turned his head in the direction of the scream. When he looked back again, the road was empty, no trace of the wolf-creature remained.

Again the dark rider heard the woman scream, louder and more desperate this time.

"Pleeeeeease no!!!"

Oh God. That scream, that plea. He had been running from the memory of such a scream, just such a desperate plea for over a month.

His bike whirred again, this time not fleeing but instead turning toward the haunting sound.

-O-

The blond biker drove closer, as fast as he was able to. He could see the girl on the grass, she was still yelling even as the guy bent over her was trying to shut her up. Both the guys were darkly dressed in a sort of black uniform, and well armed. It wasn't very difficult to understand who they worked for. He still remembered them too well.

Then suddenly, unnaturally, the girl's frantic cries stopped.

The two guys turned towards the noise of the engine, one of them aimed his gun, without any result, the headlight was blinding them. He fired a bullet but with an able gesture of his body the driver was easily able to avoid it.

The bike stopped near the unconscious body of the girl and the driver agilely got off. He dodged a couple of attacks, he kicked away one guy, screaming in pain. The other one hit him and the blond guy seemed to subside, then unexpectedly the wolf from the road appeared, snarling, showing his threatening fangs.

One of the guy shot it, but the wolf didn't seem to notice it. No reaction, no blood.

The biker used this distraction to take the still unconscious girl and drive away as fast he could.

-O-

Blood

Her blood.

He could smell it. He could feel it flow from her. It was intoxicating him.

But this was definitely human blood. Why was the Initiative trying to take this girl away?

Her blood was on his hands, on his clothes, the smell was filling the air, and strangely he wasn't tempted to taste it at all. Was this a side effect of his newly restored soul?

A few times driving towards his temporary refuge Spike was tempted to take her to the closest hospital, but he remembered the time the Initiative took the witch's were-wolf ex-boyfriend. They had been torturing him.

'Could I let her risk the same thing happen to her?' The vampire wondered when he made her lie down on what was his new bed: one worn mattress covered by a formerly white sheet. A very worn blanket, or at least what once was probably a blanket.

No, he couldn't. So the only thing he could do was try to care for her here. Spike undid the girl's shirt and skirt, slowly, trying to not hurt her too much, he was forced to cut both the skirt and her underwear allowing him a better view of the injuries. The girl wasn't going to be happy about this, but it was the only way. The most serious was the one in her abdomen, the others in the rest of her body were not so worrying.

The cut was strange: deep and regular, it didn't seem accidental, but studied, calculated. It had been covered with a coarse bandage, it was recent, but it hadn't been done tonight. It had probably reopened whilst she was trying to escape from the Initiative.

Whatever sedative they had given her was very strong because she didn't even moan when they arrived here, and not even when the blond guy was treating her.

Sometimes being so old was very useful. Or maybe it was all the ER episodes he had watched since he had that stupid chip in his head? Whatever it was it seemed to work. The bleeding stopped.

The girl was unconscious for several hours, completely motionless. After he treated the injuries, Spike sat on a improvised chair, waiting, patiently, for her to wake up. Again, he wondered what he was going to do with her, after she regained consciousness. How could he explain to her they were in a crypt? And this one wasn't as comfy as the one he had in Sunnydale.

Then eventually he saw the girl move her hand towards her stomach. She was mumbling something. The vampire moved closer, then realized the girl was still sleeping. She could hurt herself more, or make the wound open again with a wrong move.

"It's my baby…you can't do that!! It's my baby you can't! Navarre help!!! Please don't take away my baby!!!" In her dream the girl was sobbing and crying.

And then Spike understood why her wound was so regular. It wasn't an accidental cut, it was a surgical one. That's how someone - the Initiative? - took the baby she was having nightmares about.

Her nightmares didn't stop until the late morning. Even if the blond vampire had easily understood the first one, he wasn't able to figure out what the others were about. Mostly she kept calling this Navarre guy.

The vampire sat near her watching her, and wiping the sweat from her face and neck with a wet towel until she calmed down. The girl was a brunette, her hair was ruffled and messed up, her face like the rest of her body was dirty and dusty, the hem of her skirt was covered in mud. She definitely hadn't had a wonderful day. But she didn't seem like a girl running away from home. The outfit was chosen with care, the color of the skirt was matching the color of the collar she had. But even under all that dirt she seemed beautiful, young and lost.

This damn soul! How could this girl's pain affect him so much? He hated this. He stood up quickly and headed towards the exit, in the direction of the sewers. He was going to just leave her there, now. Who cared about this stupid girl? He had to leave the town as quickly as he could! What if the Initiative connected him with the guy who helped this girl to escape? He had to rush, drive as fast as he could towards… Towards what? Sunnydale? His home was there but he couldn't. He simply couldn't go back there after what he did to +her+. God! He loved +her+! How could he?! And how could he be so stupid thinking that a new soul would make him the one +she+ deserved? It just made him feel worse. And into his head all the screams he was so flattered to hear when he was killing people were hunting him, screaming into his mind, always.

And +her+ scream and this girl's screams.

He hated this! He hated not being himself anymore. Crap! He didn't even know who he was anymore.

Shit! He couldn't leave this girl alone. He grimaced, Buffy would never forgive him for abandoning an injured girl on her own. So he turned back.

"Hey! How in hell did you get in?"

The wolf's eyes stared at him for a moment before it began barking.

"So you're a friend of hers, aren't you?" Another snarl.

The vampire looked at the animal. No sign of a gunshot wound on it. It was sitting a few inches away from the still unconscious girl.

"You're a demon, buddy." He turned. "Then if you take care of her, I can go." The wolf started to growl threateningly. The vampire grimaced.

"I guess this means that I have to stay." The wolf yelped turning towards the girl. Its nose caressing her wrist.

Spike strode up with big steps towards the bed.

The sleeper moaned, starting to move again. She opened her eyes. Her hand moved instantly to cover them. She breathed deeply when she brushed her stomach. Her eyes filled with tears. She started to hit her head against the pillow, as if she was doing it against the wall, trying hard to not cry.

"It's all right, you're safe here." He spoke with the same tone he used to Dawn last year when she was scared about being evil.

She stopped abruptly, starting to tremble, her eyes moved around, as if trying to see if there were other people in the room.

"Who are you?" The girl's voice shook badly.

"A friend."

"Why am I still alive?"

Spike saw the wolf's muzzle caressing the girl's wrist again, but the girl moved her arm away as if this scared her to death.

"I'm… undressed." Her voice trembled even more, her face blushed violently.

"I don't wanna hurt you, I treated your wounds, that's why, I didn't peek… not too much."

"We aren't in the lab again, are we? " The girls hand felt her bed trying to find a better way to sit.

"Does this place look like a lab? And you shouldn't try to move. You stopped bleeding just a few hours ago." He said abruptly, walking over to a bottle of bourbon he had nearby .

"Here smells different." She noted with an absent voice, watching him move. Then she moved her gaze to the wolf, and again to the vampire. "The light, it's you… why are you glowing?"

"What in hell are you talking about?"

"You're sparkling… I can see you… that… and this light too…" She pointed at the wolf "But you're different darker and brighter… Why can I see you?"

The vampire strode towards the bed moving his hand in front of the girl… she tried to move away vainly.

"You're blind."

The girl nodded, trembling.

Goddess. Navarre thought she was brave and fearless, and she was when he was near to her. But now… everything was different. And she was alone. Scared. And she felt so small, too small.

She bit her lips before asking again "How come I can see you?"

The wolf yelped trying again to catch the girl's attention.

"What is that?" she asked with a hushed voice.

"Isn't it your wolf?" She shook her head slowly "Not your personal demon?" She answered again in the same way.

"Strange. This wolf demon made me stop to help you?"

"It has beautiful colors…"

"It seems like quite an ordinary wolf to me."

The girl moved her hand towards the animal, who caressed it with its nose.

For the first time she smiled a sad smile, almost undetectable.

She turned to face the mysterious guy.

"Why did you help me?"

He shrugged, then he remembered that the girl couldn't see that. "I don't like it when girls are in trouble".

"You… you're not … human…" She said the word almost whispering, as if she was afraid to make him angry

"No, I'm not." His voice became even more serious.

Again a ghost smile on her face. "Even Navarre wasn't, but he was wonderful". Her voice sounded heartbroken and distant.

The wolf yelped again.

The girl yawned and her eyes closed a couple of times. She was fighting to stay awake.

"Sleep. We can't rest in this town much longer…"

"Are you leaving the town?" she mumbled

"Not me, we. Do you want to stay?"

"I have no reason to stay here." She bit her lips until they almost bled. "Not anymore." She added with a sigh.

The stranger moved closer to her. "I have to go now. I need to find some stuff. I'll be back as soon as I can. Sleep, the wolf will stay with you." His tone was quite sharp, but strangely this time he didn't scare her.

She nodded.

"I'll be right back."

The girl tried to caress his face, but he had already moved away, and so she only brushed his arm

The guy took her hand, and she held it "Thanks… I would've been dead by now."

"You need to rest. Do it." the vampire ordered. Why he tried to be purposely disrespectful was a half mystery to him too. However it seemed to work. The girl took her hand away, turning her head to the other side.

She didn't fall asleep, even though she was clearly tired. She breathed deeply, but her breaths trembled like a child who can't stop sobbing.

Stupid soul!

"Hey…"He paused before leaving "Everything will be fine." He paused "I'll be back. I promise."

The last thing she remembered was the sound of his steps move away and her almost crash into a dreamless restoring sleep.


	2. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

_September 2002_

"Are you sure you don't need any help?"

Lilea smiled taking her suitcase and her big backpack from the bus driver. "I'm quite used to it, don't worry"

"We arrived late. The car crash on the highway slowed our journey a lot... It's already dark..."

The girl laughed and her peal of silvery laughter rang around. "It doesn't do any difference to me"

"No... Well... I mean..." The driver scratched his head with embarrassment.

"I know what you mean... I just was making fun of you." She laughed again, wrinkling her nose.

"Little witch!" he said with a fake mad tone.

"Is that so obvious?" She replied with false astonishment.

This time the man burst into laughter.

"Hey, listen, I'll be again here in Sunnydale with the bus, Friday, whatever you need..."

"You are so kind! It's not prudent to be that way with strangers."

"Hey, kid, you could be my daughter, you must be about the same age."

"She's a lucky girl"

"Be careful, ok?"

"I will, I promise" The young girl smiled again. She held her white stick in her hand, the heavy suitcase in the other. She could feel the protective look of the driver still on her. He had to have a sweet expression, she could tell from the way his aura was shining.

Sam seemed unable to stop watching the strange girl, even as she was walking away, slowly moving her stick to test her way towards nowhere.

Strange this sweet girl seemed to be able to look right to the depths of his soul. It was such a pity that her smiling eyes weren't able to see.

-O-

Lilea was still not far from the bus; people around her were still waiting for friends, lovers, or family. She could perceive love, but also other not so pleasant feelings. It was strange the energy you could feel in stations. If only people could just learn to listen to it. She had always loved the energies. She started to understand them better during her Aikido training, her instructor had forced her to start, when she put her feet on a stage for the first time. It was quite ironic that the only energy she could see now was the magic one. Usually the bad ones, but she could see also Spike's and Navarre's so it wasn't just evil!

Abruptly she turned towards someone who was walking in the direction of the bus. Someone very dangerous. She could see him, his monstrous colors, and he seemed scared. Why would something scare a vampire? Was the Initiative here too?

The demon was walking towards Sam's energy.

"Please, please, please... make him take another bus..."

The vampire climbed onto Sam's.

The young lady put her hand into the little fabric bag she had tied at her waist.

She extracted a bit of powder

"Protect... protect him, " and she blew on her palm. People would see just ordinary powder, if they cared to look, but she saw a cloud made of shining stars flying away towards the oblivious driver.

She smiled again "Blessed be, Sam, Goddess protect you."

-O-

She walked slowly, after all she had nowhere else to go. She enjoyed every step of this stroll. Every town has a different smell: there weren't two streets with the same perfume. She had that in the few months since she had lost her sight. The master where Spike had taken her to had taught her how. And her vampire friend was so supportive and helpful that she really never doubted herself. For the umpteenth time she wondered how she could have survived without him.

She breathed deeply "So this is Sunnydale. And now I would like to know why I'm here?" No answer, nor even breath of wind.

"What am I supposed to do here?" She asked to the night.

"Thanks for answering!" she said with sarcasm.

She walked on for a while waiting for any signal. She didn't notice when her fabric bag slumped on the ground. She would probably have to stay out this night. Spike was supposed to arrive here tomorrow so even if she would find the cemetery she never could find the crypt her friend wanted to bring her to.

"It's so not fair, by the way! Here alone, without even Navarre or Spike! You could let at least meet one of them! And I'm starving too! Ok, ok I won't complain anymore… but it's unfair!"

She rested her big suitcase on the sidewalk.

"I have to find another way to carry on this stuff…"

"Hey honey!" THE signal, she thought. But the voice wasn't familiar at all. The voice, almost covered by a car engine noise, seemed a little slurred - drunk?

"Who's speaking?"

"Come on … We're not that far away." Definitely not sober at all.

"She has a white stick, she's blind," a second voice from the same car.

"Oh right the stick, that's quite a big one, we could show you ours and you could play with us…"

She opened her eyes wide; she could hear the car noise every second closer and closer.

"Navarre!" she called "Navarre!!!!" She cried louder.

The men burst out laughing "Are you calling your protector?" The voice became more and more scaring.

Her hand moved toward her waist. The little bag with her powder had vanished.

Her suitcase was now abandoned on the ground somewhere.

Her big backpack was too heavy for her run with it on, so she let it slip down and slowly walked away from it.

Then she changed the way she was holding her stick. She couldn't see them, or the car, she just could hear the noise of the engine move closer and closer.

"Navarre... They are human!!!"

-O-

Not far from there, another girl was fighting. Kicks and fists, without pausing a moment for breath against two very strong vampires.

"Is it a big day today? Is there a party and nobody bothered to invite me?" The monsters shared a what-is-she-saying glance "It's been a while since there's been so many of your kind all at once. So where's the party?" she explained a little annoyed at having to explain.

"Am I losing my sarcastic touch?" The fight became breathless once more.

They were moving quickly, too quickly for them to notice that someone was staring at them - her, hidden in the night, between some bushes. A man transfixed by her movements was observing the scene with an amused and also slightly amazed expression.

He forgot even to breath, staring at her as if it was the first thing he had seen in his life or rather his unlife. Not just the Chosen One, but **THE ONE** with both the capital letters, the only one he was on this Earth for. Or maybe not, but this wasn't so important now. The girl who almost literally made him feel almost a man.

She seemed a little tired, but not so much as she had been in the last days before he left, and she seemed more serene. He hoped silently that the reason for this serenity wasn't his departure, even if it had probably helped a lot.

God. He had been so similar to Angelus, with her. Angelus made Drusilla go crazy killing all the people she loved. Spike was more subtle and maybe even more evil: he made Buffy feel as if she wasn't part of the "World of the Light" anymore. He had tried over and over again to persuade her that she belonged to the darkness with him. But that was so untrue. He used Buffy's need for being comforted after having been torn from Heaven instead of being a friend to her.

A younger girl ran quickly up to her. "Buffy!!!!!!!! There are five of them … I can't do it alone"

Little Bit. She had grown up in these few months. She dressed in a more feminine way, she still had some child-like gestures, but there fighting against demon she really seamed like a woman, still a very young one, but definitely she wasn't a kid anymore.

"Are they behind you?" The older sister asked, without pausing from fighting.

"I guess so."

"Ok, Dawnie, take these two, I'll take care of yours."

The younger Summers girl nodded .

The vampires who were following the girl eventually arrived. "You sure run fast, sis… they've only just got here, and you are the one who has to breath!"

"Well, " she pushed one of them. "There were so many of them, it's safer… and then I never would deprive you of the fun of a fight." She dusted one of hers.

"This is really love, sis…thanks," the older one commented with sarcasm and Dawn smiled.

The other one was quite tired from the way Buffy had fought him earlier. It was quite a relaxed training for Dawn, now.

Even thought the vampires were quite numerous Buffy had no problem with them, she was just letting the combat last long enough so that Dawn would not think she was taking too much time dusting her last vamp.

Dawn had improved a lot, Buffy was so proud of her, and they were sharing not just the daily patrol, they were friends now. Buffy was still the big sister and so really a mother-figure, but Dawn was no longer the kid she used to be.

The youngest Summers never told anyone what Willow said to her at Rank's place but that had hit the teenager deeply. Whatever it was, it helped Dawn grow up.

A woman's cry in the silence of the night distracted the two girls from the fight. The vampire tensed

"Navarre!" The fighting duo shared a glance. Dawn tried to run toward the cry but her enemy didn't let her take the opportunity, and further more another pair was arriving from nowhere.

"I have a surprise for you, slayer. Stand by to be shocked." The hidden staring man ran toward the cry.

-O-

The girl started to move her stick as her martial art trainer had taught her. The car was coming closer and closer, she could hear the engine noise approaching. They were coming to catch her with the car, they seemed to have no intention of stopping. Was it the Initiative again? She had seen a vampire run away from the city not long ago. She stepped back, a couple of times, and then she turned, starting to run into her darkness.

"Navarre, help!!!"

The car didn't even try to avoid her backpack. She heard the sound of glass shatter under the wheels as it ran over it. She tried to run faster but she stumbled. She was able to regain her balance again, then in her blind escape she hit her shoulder violently against a tree. And she fell.

The pain was so hard that she felt she was close to fainting. She started to panic. She couldn't let them take her again. Not alive.

The two guys slipped out of the car. They were on her in a seconds. She begged, "Please no, I don't wanna go there again… I…" One of them moved closer. She tried to push him away, but her shoulder ached so much. She kicked him further away, and the guy seemed to become even nastier. He hit her right on the injured shoulder, she gasped. She heard the noise of her shirt being snatched, she tried harder to reject the boy's assault but the pain, the shock, and the fear this time made her faint.

Spike was close now.

-O-

A car was chasing the running girl. She stumbled losing her stick but she was able to run anyway for several steps. She was now running with her arms outstretched, she probably tripped again and she fell hitting violently her shoulder against a tree.

The vampire saw one of the guys step out of the car, kneel on Lilea's body and tear her shirt.

Now Spike was the one who was running faster and faster screaming her name.

They both saw the guy rush toward them. The one who was driving took a gun from the car, a beer into his other hand.

The guy sitting on the girl was bending over her, he smelled of alcohol too. He thought that it would have been more fun if the girl had been awake, but he couldn't complain too much. She was quite gorgeous. It had been quite funny to see her scared expression earlier. It made him feel so manly.

The guy leaning against the car seemed to become quite impatient. "Hurry up, buddy, it's my turn for fun later."

"Well if you want to have fun, you have to try with me. "

The two boys looked up toward the voice. The guy who had been running and screaming was there. The armed one pointed his gun toward him.

"You, English dork, this is none of your business. Go away. "

The other guy bent over the girl again, laughing.

The blond Englishman pulled him off her without any effort and hit him violently, sending him crashing into the other guy.

The blond one screamed in pain. The other two guys thought for a moment that he was probably crazy, then they looked at him. And then they became unable to stop looking at him. They were horrified, hypnotized by him, with fear. Spike's game face was more threatening than ever. The morphed features were emphasized from the way his eyes were shining. Hate, anger, and also something very close to madness.

The English man one took the beer from the guy that had been leaning against the car. What was left in the bottle was drunk in a sip. Then the vampire smashed the bottle on the floor, not far from the boys.

"Go!" He breathed deeply in order to have enough self control to not try to kill both of them. It was more than a century since he had died and yet he usually forced himself to breath. "Next time I find one of you doing something like this, you will both die, in the most painful way I can think of. And believe me I hope you do. It's been so long since I've had a little fun. And now run. Before I change my mind".

The two guys jumped faster than they ever had before, despise all the beer in their bodies, jumped into the car and with a loud screech of tires they vanished.

-O-

The squeal of a car made Buffy look toward the street

The cries abruptly stopped minutes ago. Whatever had happened earlier, now was calm. And she was not sure it was a positive thing.

She was able to hear a male voice "Go! Go faster, drive!!!!!!!!" The voice from the car seemed so scared: maybe they saw a vampire too, there were so many of them lately and they seemed to increase their number every night.

Buffy was starting to be tired of this life. She staked a vampire, then another one. Eventually Dawn dusted her last one and she also took care another of her sister's ones. She didn't complain anymore about being alive again, but this didn't make things any easier. Every night, especially in the last few weeks, there hadn't been any free nights, patrolling until late. And always more vampires. The positive thing was that they came from out of town and weren't victims of a local serial vampire she had missed slaying. At least her work helped to prevent Sunnydale from becoming a Vamp-town like in the alternate reality Anya built.

-O-

The blond vampire was now bent over the senseless girl. He covered her chest with the edges of her shirt. If he had had his duster it would have been easier, but he forgot it the night he escaped… he left Sunnydale. He didn't know when she had fainted, or if she knew what would have happened to her if he had just been ten minutes later.

His hands tied the torn borders of Lilea's shirt, covering her exposed chest. He thought it would be less embarrassing, He remembered the way Buffy covered herself **THAT** evening. He still hated himself so much for that. This was his only real regret. He didn't care about the people he had killed. He was a vampire, they were food, but **THAT** was different.

"Hey, luv, wake up… you can't sleep here all the night, Lil." He felt stupid, completely stupid. "Come on, pet, wake up." He gave her some little smacks on her face, so light that his chip didn't even activate.

The girl opened her eyes and looked at him.

"It's all right now, they went away."

The girl gulped before speaking "It's not all right, and you know it! Were they soldiers?"

"No, just normal drunk guys."

"I couldn't fight them… I couldn't see them… and they were in a car… and I tried to defend myself but I lost the stick and my shoulder is hurting like hell… and…"

Spike covered her lips with his fingers in order to make her stop blabbing. "It's over. We're not far from my place. Can you stand up?" The girl nodded "Good. I'll take care of your shoulder when we get there. I hadn't time to make the crypt ready for the two of us, I only arrived a few hours ago.

"Thanks… Spike, where… where are they now?" Her voice almost cracked.

"Trembling and crying somewhere."

"Are they…?"

"Dead?" She nodded "What do you think?"

She thanked him again.

"You're early, luv, shouldn't you arrive tomorrow?"

The girl's eyes shone "I won a little fortune."

The vampire grinned. "How little?"

"It's enough for both of us, honey. So you haven't got to do anything illegal this time. And I saved your poor soul some future regrets. And after the way you led me astray, buddy, I simply love cheating at games!" The girl winked at him and the vampire burst out laughing. She had never seen his colors so messy. For the first time, since she had learned to read his colors she wasn't able to understand him. But never since she met him she remembered him seeming so alive.

"What about looking for my stick and bags? Not that I don't love staying here flirting with you, but really this shoulder is killing me."


	3. Chapter 2

I didn't tell it earlier, but I'm not English (big surprise), so if you fidn some mistake or so on, please let me know, the story had a BR, but you know my English was so bad she had really a lot of work to do, so if something slipped, don't blame her, blame me! (Oh and by the way Thanks agan Toria for the huge job!)

**Chapter 2 **

Spike hadn't really had time to go back into the crypt earlier. He had to hide the trace of the car he stole in order to get to Sunnydale, and his bike. So when it was time to go back home he went to Clem's. He needed his help. He didn't want risk being discovered even before he had arrived and made sure Lilea could be safe here. He had to force himself in order to stay away from 1630 Revello Drive .

Priority. He had to keep his priority in his mind. Sometimes was so hard. He also had to fight against his own instinct to run away as fast as he could from this town, from its citizens, from one of them. From **HER**.

-O-

The crypt was obviously dark; it hadn't changed from the night he left months ago. No more shattered glasses on the floor. Clem! What a friend, he had cleaned the mess he left the evening he left town. A lot of dust around, empty fridge.

Some traces of popcorn on the floor revealed that his wrinkled friend was still came in order to watch some TV.

Spike lit a candle with his lighter, even thought Lilea didn't need it and he didn't really either.

Home.

He was home again. Even if, to be honest, without the Slayer this crypt seemed empty. He smiled, trying to guess Buffy's reaction if, or when she would discovered that he was going to share his place, his furniture, his time, and even his bed, with another girl.

Probably some months ago she would have been jealous, like that day at Xander and Anya's not-a-wedding. It hurts. He was never going to forget that Buffy said it hurt .

'What the bloody hell are you thinking about?' He mentally stopped himself from going further. 'That was never going to happen again. So stop that. And help Lilea.'

He put the girl's bags on the floor, near the coffin. He notice a dark thing on it. His duster, carefully folded.. Darn how much he'd missed it. It had been almost a second skin for him for so long.

"Lil, come here" The girl walked slowly toward the vampire's colors, slowly tasting all the steps of what was going to become her new place.

"So... here we are…" The blond guy helped the girl to sit on the coffin, his duster as cushion. "I'll be right back, I want to check downstairs, we have to live there."

"Spike, are we hiding? I mean… more than usual?"

"No. It's just that I don't want people to know I'm back, yet" She nodded "I'll take care about your shoulder in a couple of minutes."

The underground tour wasn't very long, it seemed quite dusty there, and all the mess he left was still there. He hadn't really cleaned it up after that Riley had blown it up. That stupid boy-scout. Well he didn't feel the need for a comfy crypt anymore. He had started to make it look nice when Dawn had started to come during Buffy's absence, and the crypt had looked quite good when the Slayer was an almost daily visitor. But then, later, after they split up, he wasn't in the right mood for taking caring of his place.

He gave a last glance, noticing that the bed was made. He remember clearly it was unmade the night he left, leaving some candles on.

Lilea could see him walking from the point where he emerged and another one of the crypt. With Spike's exception, no light for her. She could see nothing magical here. Dark. As always. Since they had left the sorcerer's place where almost everything was glowing, she had a problem with her complete blindness again. Funny that she could fight against a demon without any problem, and she did a lot, and still she had trouble with moving in new places.

The vampire walked into the kitchen, taking a napkin and a bottle of whisky. "Drink some of this." He put the bottle into her hand. She did.

She coughed a lot "Another couple" She did obediently.

"Put this in your mouth, it will stop you crying too loud" He took the bottle from her hand drinking a couple of big sips too, and gave her the napkin.

She nodded holding the napkin between her teeth. She had seen this in movies when she was a kid, with a crush on Clint Eastwood's eyes, and used to watch westerns with her father: the Far West doctors made people drink before extracting bullets from them. In the movies it works. She hoped this could work for her shoulder too.

It was just a second: she cried, biting the napkin tightly, closing her eyes, while unintentional tears rolled down her cheeks.

Spike fixed her shoulder and in the same moment his head seemed to explode. He shouted too, falling on the floor.

In the same moment outside the wolf howled all his pain covering the screams in they crypt.

" Navarre…" she whispered, then she turned toward the vampire. His aura was now showing all the physical pain he was now feeling. She could see the point in his head where his pain came from, because it was disturbing his aura, making his color change. And this was just increasing his rage.

So, as she had done the day after they met she knelt near him, took his head into her hand. "Look at me"

-O-

_June 2002, the day after_

"We have to change the bandages, are you ready for that?"

The girl nodded, and she blushed when the vampire helped her to take off the boxers he had lent her down a little, in order to have a bigger space for disinfecting her injury.

He must have noticed her embarrassment because he covered her with the sheet and strangely his colors were changing again. Lilea still didn't know how this mixing colors worked but this time they were a range she never saw in him before.

"Do you want to know what I'm going to do?" The girl shook her head.

The vampire looked at the girl's body and for a moment her blood was screaming to him again. He looked at Lilea's face, and she seemed scared for a second, as if she could read his mind.

"What?" he asked bluntly.

The girl moved her head. "Nothing… your… your colors changed again and I don't think they were good"

The vampire shook his head with a half smile 'Women!'

"Believe me, it's gonna to hurt me more than you'll feel, luv, literally. Breath deeply," he said and in the same moment Lilea did so he tore off the bandage.

The girl arched her back, trying to avoid screaming. Spike would probably have found her brave, if in the same moment his head hadn't started to hurt him badly, so badly that he lost his equilibrium.

With all the strength she could muster Lilea rolled down the bed and moved toward Spike crawling on the floor toward his colors.

The light she could see were different from earlier, and there was a point that she figured could be his head, that seemed to be the responsible for what, she understood, was pain. It wasn't hard for her to find his head.

Lilea took his head firmly in her hands, with all the spinning color there was no trouble finding it. "Look at me," she ordered, Spike tried to move but she was quite determined, and even if she was visibly in pain she didn't let him slip away.

He was going to push her off, the last thing you need when you're in pain is someone glued on you, but suddenly a warm feeling expanded from the girl's hand.

And the pain vanished.

Magically.

"How … wow…" She smiled sitting near him. Breathing heavily from her own pain.

"Better?" He nodded, then he realized she couldn't see him. "It's gone. What about you?"

"It still hurts… but a lot less than yesterday. I'll heal in a couple of days."

"Can you do this for yourself?" He pointed at his head, then he remembered "Curing yourself too?"

She shook her head.

"That sucks! "

"Yeah"

"So, you are a fugitive and a spirit healer … any other secrets do you want to share?"

She smiled. "A lot of secrets… about the sharing part…I don't think **YOU'RE** ready for that."

Spike raised his eyebrow with a smirk.

The guy stayed silent for a second, then he took Lilea in his arms and made her lie back down on the bed.

"I'm Spike," he said staring at the girl's face.

"Like Snoopy's bro!" Her eyes were glowing, she was joking, and having fun.

If look could kill Lilea would be dead, but she was laughing lightly.

"Not, from the way I used to torture people who teased me." She laughed for a while before her wound hurt again.

"Yeah... I'm dying of fear just now…" she was able to say fighting her pain.

"So... fearless girl, what's you name?"

"Lilea… you are completely right to tease me back."

"It's a strange name…"

"It was an ancient region of Greece."

"I know... I studied it…" then he added casually "a century ago…"

"What an impressive memory… I don't remember what I ate this morning."

Spike looked at her, he was sure she was teasing him again, but this time her face showed she was sincere.

"You didn't eat this morning." He pointed out.

"Oh, maybe that's why I can't remember… Is this really a crypt?"

"Yes"

"Cool!" And she lay her head again against the pillow. Again the not physical pain filled her eyes.

To Be Continued


	4. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_September 2002 - one hour later_

Not far from Spike's crypt Buffy and Dawn ended their patrol. They had dusted about 15 vampires just in the last two nights. Buffy was worried, she to had warn Giles again. When so many vampires arrived close to the Hellmouth it was never a good sign.

Suddenly a wolf howled, breaking the silence of the night. By instinct Buffy looked at the sky: it was just a small slice of crescent moon. At least couldn't be a werewolf.

"It made me shiver" Dawn looked her sister uncertainly "It seemed quite close"

"True, quite scary, but I wouldn't worry about it." The slayer seemed absent, she knew it was late, and that Dawn needed to go to sleep, but she needed to check something. Something, a doubt, was insinuating into her head. "Dawnie, do you mind if we make a little detour?"

"It's Ok."

They walked slowly, the slayer looked was sad though if she tried to hide it. Dawn smiled sadly too when she stopped in front of the crypt.

The older Summers girl knocked.

"Buffy? Are you ok? You usually walk in…" Dawn's eyes were wide with surprise and she take them off her sister.

Buffy avoided her sister's glance. "I have this strange feeling…"

"Like what?"

"I feel him close." She smiled at her with a sort of guilty smirk.

Lilea looked toward the door. "Someone… Something strong, is coming… Real strong."

Spike looked at her then at the door too.

"I think you're right. Don't make a sound!" He stood-up quickly holding her wrist "Come on, fast!" They practically ran downstairs.

They were in the middle of the flight of stairs when someone knocked. They vanished into the underground.

"Spike? Spike are you in?" she asked loudly with an unusual uncertain voice.

It was dark in the crypt but unlike of other times there were a couple of candles burning.

Her heart was almost exploded when she saw the lights, scared and anxious at the same time, while she looked around trying to looking for something she didn't know if she was ready for.

The duster, his, was on the floor near a white stick. She picked them up, holding the duster to herself for a while. She walked some steps toward the stairs "Spike?"

The young woman slowly walked down the steps a little way, glancing at the bed. Nothing. It was untouched. Clem made it the evening Dawn stayed there, the evening she found that he was gone. Buffy, went a couple… ok a lot of times to check the crypt. But never she felt this stupid 'butterfly in her stomach' feeling.

Her voice trembled when she called him again.

She stopped staring at the dark of the underground passage.

God, she could feel him so close. How in Hell this was possible, why was this impression so strong now? That idiotic vampire had been away for almost four months, and now how he dare be again in her life, or at least in her mind in so overwhelming a way?

She smiled sadly when she thought she was almost able to smell him.

"Stupid." she said without knowing if she said it to him or to herself.

She left, taking with big steps, without looking back.

Lilea heard Spike jump down the stairs and a moment later she felt herself being taken in his arms in order to get her down the stairs more quickly. She had no idea where the vampire was making her walk, not many steps, but they were really fast. Then suddenly she felt herself pushed quite rudely against the wall. Spike's body against hers.

Lilea started feeling scared. She had never seen Spike's colors spinning in this way, she could see almost all the colors at once. Fear. She could feel it. Fear and desperation.

He was hiding. For the first time.

"Spike? Spike are you in?"

Lilea was stunned. A girl's voice? And yet the colors of the guy was holding her wouldn't stop changing.

Why did he seem so scared? Then she understood.

Spike was pushing Lilea into a crack in the wall, a favor left by Agent Finn's bomb. He realized he wasn't being fair to the girl in his arms, but he didn't want to risk Buffy seeing him. And Lilea was frozen with fear, then exactly at the moment Buffy called his name, the girl relaxed, maybe she started even to smile, but he wasn't very sure.

And Lilea was smiling.

'So this is the girl you are hiding from since so long, buddy. Duh, love. It's always so complicated.'

Lilea wondered if a vampire's heart could explode with emotion even if it wasn't beating. If it could, Spike was going to die exactly at the moment the girl started to go down the stairs.

Lilea felt Spike's body pushing her harder against the wall in order to avoid being seen.

The strange girl's hand moved behind Spike's back holding him to herself, the other hand moved toward his face. She stood on her tiptoes, and her finger stopped on his lips to silence him.

"Occulti tenebris" she whispered in his ear.

The slayer's steps resounded through the cavern. She walked slowly, then stopped for a second exactly next to the invisible couple.

Lilea, without any effort, could see the girl's colors spinning almost in the same way Spike's were doing. And strangely the colors of the one she was holding in her arms and the ones of the mysterious girl's were absolutely complementary. Even thought the blind girl had only been able to see such colors for a few months she had never seen anything similar.

The girl seemed human, her lights were completely different from the demons', but they had a wide range of colors, and in this moment they were completely messed up.

The young witch could bet Spike's eyes were tightly closed, and the other girl's perceptions were altered by the spell, but their auras were reaching toward each other, their souls seemed to communicate.They recognized each other even without a physical contact.

Lilea was not sure, but she guessed Spike was trembling when the mysterious girl almost caressed his back. And in that moment the girl realized how she envied the vampire for that flow of emotions she was sure she'd never feel again.

"Stupid" the visitor said loudly, before leaving quickly. And Lilea smiled at that comment. And she agreed completely.

Both, the witch and the vampire, stayed motionless until they heard the upper door close.

"Mostrate!" Lilea declared, and in that moment the spell was broken.

She took her hand from Spike's back.

"Was it ok? I mean I acted by instinct but maybe you would have preferred her to see… I'm sorry. I was too impulsive… I thought…" She could see his frustrations grow from his colors, and she felt responsible.

He moved away. She could hear his footsteps move away, she heard the noise of a click and a then smelled smoke.

He breathed in his cigarette deeply.

"Thanks" he simply said.

The silence between them was full of tension. But Lilea couldn't resist. "Can I ask you a question?"

He inhaled another a deep drag of his cigarette. "You can. But I might not answer."

"The girl who was here earlier… she… she is human… I can see that… but she is different. I mean you're different too… from other vampires I mean, but she's... she has this energy. She has something I've never seen."

"Yeah. She is different" Lilea waited for him to speak again but he seemed to be concentrating on his smoking.

She was silent for some time, then she called him again with an uncertain voice.

"Spike?"

"What?" She barely remember him being so rude before.

"Where're my bags? I would like to change my... shirt".

Spike realized how short and plunging he had tied the shirt. It was covering her from showing too much of herself but he could easily understand why she didn't feel comfortable.

"Oh sure" He walked out of the room, then he returned with the bags. She took them with no hesitation, and once Lilea heard him go upstairs, she opened the suitcase and extracted the first T-shirt she found. This wasn't magic. She had no idea whether it fitted, but it felt comfy, so she decided it was ok.

The sound of broken stuff from her backpack left her little hope of finding anything undamaged.

She stretched her hand into it. "Ouch!" She pulled her hand into her mount: she tasted blood.

"Wonderful… Just I what we need. No magic stuff at all."

"What?" Spike peeped out

"Sorry just…" she pointed the backpack "Have you got a bin? " She fastened it and took it upstairs "Is there some place where we can find magic here in Sunnydale?"

"You'll find even more than you need, luv. Don't worry about that!"

To be continued


	5. Chapter 4

Chapter 3 & this one are too short... That's why I'm posting them together... Don't get used:p

* * *

**  
Chapter 4**

Dawn and Buffy walked silently, but when they were almost home the younger girl was unable to resist any longer.

"Do you miss him?" she asked.

"I don't know," the older sister said after a while. Even thinking seriously she wasn't able to find an answer.

"I guessed he was in love with you… When I spoke with him, at his place, after Anya's... Well you know…" The girl stopped. She didn't know if her sister wanted her to continue.

Buffy didn't say anything. She simply slowed down keeping her gaze toward the floor.

"Did you go there?"

Dawn nodded. "I told him he hurt you. He was sorry. I mean, really sorry."

"I know…"

"And then I asked him if he was in love with you, and I could swear he was sincere…" Buffy was staring at her now. "You know, I was sure he was going to say something: yes, no, I don't know, maybe. Everything. But he didn't - he just looked at me, and I can't believe he did that to you the very same evening…"

The older girl was silent, still staring at the floor.

Then she whispered, "Dawnie, it's not easy to explain. He acted badly, but he…"

"Are you justifying him?"

"Not at all! But, you know, we… didn't have a normal relationship… we pushed each other hard, we were used to hurting each other, verbally or physically…"

"A sadomasochist thing?" Dawn was shocked.

"No! Yes… a sort of... But not in the way people think… it's not so easy."

Buffy was grateful for the darkness as she blushed at the memory of that time he wanted to play with the handcuffs.

_"Do you trust me?"_

_"Never" was her answer, and now less than ever._

How can you explain to your sixteen-year-old sister a relationship like the one she had with Spike without making it seem dirtier than it was? How can you explain to her your need to feel alive without hurting her feelings? How can you tell her how alone you felt even when Dawn and the Scoobies were around, and how Spike made you feel understood and free to be just yourself?

Her sister's voice brought her back to the present. "Buffy… why did you bring me there the next night? After that…"

"He'd never harm you, Dawnie, you know that... I knew he could keep you safe…" How could she have any doubt about this?

"Sorry, Buffy, I'm finding it hard to understand."

"So am I, Dawnie, so am I," the slayer whispered. Those were the last words they shared until they arrived home.

Buffy hated Xander for telling Dawn this. She'd never had to know. Buffy knew how much her sister loved the vampire. Buffy didn't know if Dawnie still had a crush on him, but she knew how special the friendship they shared was, especially after her death. She knew how her little sister and Spike had become close. How he had been present in her little sister's life, acting a little like the father, the big brother, the one she could trust, the one who would never blame her, even though the woman he loved had died to save her.

Strangely, though she didn't trust the vampire enough to completely belong to him, even at their most passionate, yet she knew she could trust him with her sister's safety. Fully believed it, why was that? He was still a vampire after all, and after Angel turned into Angelus that night, that first time…

-O-

He didn't know if he really could say he had missed Sunnydale, but now walking again in the middle of the night in this town made him feel home.

In this park probably the first time in history, he - a soulless vampire - had saved the slayer. The police wanted her for the other slayer's death, but he hadn't know that then. He had told her people were 'Happy meal with legs'. One of his best cracks. His sarcastic vein was a lot better than his bloody poetry.

When that damn demon gave him the soul back he screamed, screamed with pain, with guilt and above all he screamed with fear. Fear of becoming William again. He hated to think about his 'alive' life. What had happened the night Drusilla sired him was the only good thing that had happened to him. If he could just go back to that night, he would end it drinking from the necks of all those people at that party.

They were the real soulless things.

He wondered often how "_humans_" could be so cruel.

And he thought of Buffy. She had been cruel to him, but he had been cruel to her too. He had told her things he knew had hurt her deeply, and she had done the same. This made him crazy: two people loved each other, or whatever it was the feeling they shared, and still she hated him? Even during last winter? Was it possible?

Spike now was staring at the dark window. He had to resist the temptation of peeking into Buffy's room. He was hidden behind the tree, dressed darkly, no one could see the gray eyes staring at the first floor.

The light movement of the curtain, the window opened.

And for the third time today, he felt as if his heart might break with emotion.

She was there, leaning against the window, breathing deeply. She whispered something he wasn't able to understand. And, incredibly, she smiled.

To Be Continued

Please review!!!


	6. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Her room was so hot today. The summer had already ended, but today had been a really warm day, and all that fighting hadn't helped, though she had taken a shower some time ago.

It had been a pretty long shower, going by Dawn's "I need a shower too" look when she left the bathroom.

But she felt regenerated. She put on her pyjama jacket without switching the light on, a thoughtful look on her face. She slowly walked to the window and opened it.

She stared at the sky for a long time.

"It's a big day tomorrow. Dawn will start high-school. She's growing up. I'll start my new job there, too. At least being the slayer gives me real experience of Sunnydale teenagers' school problems. It's not a big deal but at least I can keep an eye on her even during the day. I had Giles to turn to at school, she has no-one." She paused a moment. "I keep missing you so much, and Dawn too, even if neither of us admits about it. I pretend I'm being enough for her, she pretends I am too" She smiled "It was hard, mum, the last two years were so messed up and complicated… but we got over it and now we're stronger, and we survived, somehow. I can't say I'm happy, but at least I'm serene now. Mom, I wanted you to be proud of me, of us. Wherever you are now I hope you know we love you, and that we were proud of you…so much and you know that, Oh God, maybe I'm crazy for speaking to you, after so long… But now, just now, I'm ready to face it." Buffy smiled again, feeling a little silly for this sort of spoken mail she sent to her mother. She moved slowly toward her bed.

Strange day, today, she thought. All her memories seemed so vivid.

_His surprised face when she asked "Tell me you love me." _

"_I love you." And his eyes said that even better when he added, "You know that I do."_

"_Tell me you want me."_

_And the sound of his voice, hoarse with emotion answering, "I always want you." And he didn't ask, it wasn't just passion that time. Not lust, but need, and he knew she needed him, with her, because her pain was unbearable. _

_And ok, he had had those strange ideas about violent sex, and a sort of perverse sense of being a couple, sometimes, but he was always there for her when she needed him. _

"_You can't understand why this is killing me, can you?" she asked him when she thought she had killed Katrina and he was trying to stop her from making a mistake._

"_Why don't you explain it?" and he really wanted to know. And she hit him, over and over again. _

"_Come on, that's it, put it on me. Put it all on me." And that was what he wanted. Spike let her hit him again and again. And now, months later, she realized she had hurt him in the same way Faith had hurt herself when she was trying to destroy the person she hated being. Not Buffy, but herself. _

"_There is nothing good or clean in you. You are dead inside! You can't feel anything real!" she accused him, but this was what she was afraid of herself._

How many times had she hit him? She couldn't remember ever hitting him so many times even when he had wanted to kill her.

She could barely remember being so scared of herself, scared of being now a real Killer, not just the vampire slayer, but someone who started to kill human and not care about it. And he never complained. Never asked her to apologize.

Buffy closed her eyes tightly

Into her mind Spike's voice was yelling at her _"You can stop calling me that any time. If I may, the thing of it is, I'm holding these for a friend, who…" _

_And as usual her answer was a punch on his nose "No more games." She was mad, for him betraying her trust, for her being so naive as to have put her trust in him. _

_And he answered "Well, that's bloody funny coming from you! No more games? That's all you've ever done is play me. You keep playing with rules you make up as you like. You know what I am. You've always known. You come to me all the same."_

She knew him, she knew how dangerous he was. A vampire. A normal vampire - well normal wasn't the right word for Spike, he had never been a normal vampire.

But again, his face after she kicked him away that night. Buffy thought about it so many times….

And later, on that other, awful night, even with the rage she had felt in that moment, she could see his disbelief, his shame, his shock for what he almost did, and strangely she was sure he hadn't meant to do it. She could read it in his eyes, but she was so mad with at him for that. Perhaps because it had been the most unexpected deceit she had. Perhaps that was why it still hurt her so deeply. She wasn't in love with him, of course she wasn't, - her mind quickly added - but she thought she could trust in him completely, even after she had broken up with him. And again she had let a man hurt her.

And then he left without speaking, even Clem didn't have any news about him. She even threatened to punch the puppy-demon a couple of times but it was completely useless and made her feel even worse.

Spike AKA William the Bloody seemed to have vanished.

Buffy hadn't realized that she had fallen asleep. In her dream she was in a place she didn't remember, but it seemed to be a crypt, not Spike's.

A young woman was there too, and Spike.

The vampire was near her, fighting with Buffy against others of his kind, while the brunette was walking through them almost unseen, as if she was walking in slow motion. She was approaching them holding into her hand a white stick. Buffy recognized it as the one she had seen at Spike's place.

Then - she didn't know how the scene changed - the brunette was lying on the crypt floor, very pale. Spike was drinking from her. He felt no pain, even if Buffy knows she was a human, in her dream she know the other girl. And the young woman was looking at Spike with a gaze full of unconditional love and respect, unafraid. He seemed to be almost crying, while he was caressing the girl's head, but his mouth was covered in her blood.

Buffy gasped finding herself sitting up in bed, tears were streaming down her cheeks.

---OOO---

_June 2002_

She was walking slowly carrying two big paper shopping bags. Her mother and sister were parking the car.

The younger sister got out the car. "Hurry up, Lil! The movie starts in twenty minutes."

"I'll just be a second!" she yelled back from the kitchen, hurrying while she put the milk in the fridge.

Then a scream.

A bottle fell on the floor, but no one noticed.

Lilea ran toward the front door: six men were near the car. One had her mother in his hands. He seemed to be drinking from her neck. Her sister was running toward the house.

"Lilea help!!!" But the others ones were on her.

She could hear her own voice scream when she saw the first one sink his teeth into the young girl's neck.

Then a strong hand covered her mouth and dragged her inside .She tried to struggle, her eyes couldn't move from her now senseless sister, while other monsters kept drinking from her.

"It's too late for them, I'm sorry. They are too many of them, I couldn't do anything." He was holding her tightly. He spoke sweetly, and he forced her to look away. They shared a look and he held her against his chest, letting her cry all her tears.

The dream changed suddenly and she found herself facing her mother and sister, both with vampire's faces, trying to bite her.

She felt her sister's cold teeth against her neck, in the same moment Lilea held a stake and pushed it against her sister's chest. The youngest girl looked at her with astonishment in her eyes, while the face she loved became dust.

She turned toward the guy near her, exactly in the moment he staked her mother in the same way.

Dust.

Nothing else remained of her family.

And she felt cold. A cold which came from inside. She couldn't stop trembling, even when Navarre held her again as he had done the previous night.

Again the scene changed, a demon was in front of them. Navarre was shielding her with his body. The demon appeared for a second, before vanishing again.

"You both make me sick, a demon and an human can't be love. You silly girl."

"I love her, she feels the same for me… she can see beyond what I am, what I really am."

"She can see beyond?" The demon laughed loudly. "The last thing she will see will be your death." The demon threw an arrow that hit Navarre in the chest.

She screamed, sitting on the bed. Tears rolled unsuppressed down her cheeks. She was trembling violently.

"Hey, luv, what's up? It was just a nightmare, it's gone now."

"It's not gone. It never will. It happens again and again. Every time. Only now get worse." Spike barely understood her words. She was sobbing even thought she was clearly trying not to.

She felt Spike sit on the bed near her.

"Sorry… I'm calming down… I'm sorry"

"A couple of tears can't hurt me. Do you feel better now?"

She nodded breathing deeply. "I hate this every time"

"This?"

"I saw vampires kill my mother and sister, I had to stake them, because they turned too.. They were my family…" She whispered.

"I'm the one who should be sorry…" She smiled lightly

"And now, I let that my boyfriend being killed by a demon instead of me, BECAUSE of me. So the demon let me survive with this guilt and he made me blind because he wanted to punish me. Idiot of a monster. He gave me a new way to look at things and goddess forgive me, I like this GIFT." She sniffed a moment as if she wanted to regain her self-control again. "Well if I'd met you last month probably I would probably have tried to kill you, because you're a vampire, I'm quite glad I didn't."

"Should I be grateful?"

"Well," she pointed out "I'm quite good at killing vampires, you know? Probably you'd be surprised… and in a dusty form."

"Then I'll have to introduce you to a friend of mine, she is quite good at that too."

"Your girlfriend?" His color span and Lilea smiled at him. "The one you love. Forbidden Love?"

"How the bloody hell would you know anything about that?"

"Let me say that demons in love shine in a strange and awesome way, at least for me" She stayed silent for some seconds "Oh Goddess, I have to be a monster" she wiped away her tracks of tears.

"You could be worse…at least you haven't got make-up all splattered on your face"

"Yeah…"She paused a long moment "Spike?"

"What?"

"Do I have to get up? What time is it?" The vampire smiled, she seemed so young.

"Almost four, sleep!" he ordered.

"And you?" Her voice was hesitant.

"I'll sleep too in a few hours," he answered casually.

"Do you have another bed?"

He smiled. "No," He said with a fake annoyed tone. "I'll take the armchair"

"Spike?" Her voice was a breath.

"Sleep!!!" he said still pretending to be annoyed.

"We could share…" The girl blushed violently. "I mean… I don't mean…"

"I know exactly what you mean… Share the bed not the fun."

She nodded.

Spike saw embarrassment in her every little gesture. He couldn't avoid teasing her a little. "Well my hot body… is so sexy, it's a pity you don't wanna share" he said, with his best lascivious tone.

Lilea took her pillow and hit him in the stomach.

Spike burst out in laughing "You don't know what are you missing."

Lilea did lay back. "If I have another nightmare, kick me out of bed."

"I will, and remember, girl, if anyone asks… We had great sex tonight. I've got a reputation"

Lilea turned on her side.

"I'll tell her what SHE is missing." Even thought she wasn't staring at him, she could see his colors spinning crazily. The girl smiled. She probably had a point.

Emotions. That was the mystery: she could see emotions in this demon. She could see them in Spike and in the demon-wolf too.

To Be Continued


	7. Chapter 6

**Sorry… no Spuffy at all this chapter… I promise it will arrive soon!!! That's why I wrote this story! I NEED Spuffy!!!**

**Chapter 6**

September 2002

Spike's closeness helped Lilea to calm down. Her usual nightmares melted into a sweet dream, but a couple of hours later her dream changed again. She could see a couple, a young woman and a blond man, fighting against vampires. They were in a sort of quite empty crypt. The couple was winning, with no effort. Then she saw the Gulthias demon that had killed her Navarre fire his arrow against them.

The blond guy was wounded in his left shoulder while he protected the girl. He staggered, dusting a couple of vampires anyway, then he fell to the ground.

The girl screamed a 'No', dusting some vampires too. Then she hit the demon. She hit the demon over and over again, her rage was growing. She hit the demon once again, he fell, the girl took a sword cut off his head. The demon was dead.

Then she turned toward the hurt guy and, in her dream, Lilea could see the girl cry. She cried while she was fighting, tears were rolling down on her face.

The blond girl ran to her friend. He was definitely in pain, thought Lilea couldn't see his face. She never saw it. The girl cried holding the dying guy against her chest. "Please don't leave me, I love you… You can't die."

June 2002 

_Lilea woke up a couple of hours after the nightmare. Four days of absolute rest she felt quite strong. _

_She decided to train with the stick Spike had bought for her, while the wolf was observing her training quite sleepily._

_She made her katas over and over. It had been a long time since she had practiced the exercices. Her gestures were a lot slower than usual, but she tried to do the best she could. It wasn't easy, it was the first time since she had lost her sight. It was her luck that her master in Aikido was a strange person who wanted his pupils to feel the energy. 'Aikido means 'art of union of energies'... then unite them!!!' He yelled every time. At least she had been a good pupil._

_"Do you need a trainer?" A familiar voice distracted her. _

_"I'd like that," she smiled, stopping herself from making the little bow her master had taught her to do before starting a regular fight._

_"Do the exercise again, I'll tell you where you are wrong."_

_She did and Spike showed her weak points. The vampire noticed how ready the girl was to learn. She had a sort of predisposition to fight - even without her sight she was able to move quite gracefully, parrying his attacks. _

_She was good, not good enough to be safe in a fight with stronger of media vampires, or bigger demons, but she was really talented._

_Then suddenly he realized something. _

_"How are your injuries?" _

_"I'm almost like a new one." _

_"You improve very fast." _

_"Yeah lately I do." _

_"How long have you been dusting vampires?"_

_"It's been just over a year." _

_"Let me guess, one year and two months?" _

_"Yeah… Something like that. But how do you know?"_

_"You said you 're escaping from people, who are they?" _

_Lilea lowered her head "There are several people I'm escaping from," she moved. "There are militaries that you already met. And some Englishmen too. I don't know what they want."_

_"Why do soldiers want you?"_

_Her voice was whispered, but she fought with herself in order to stop it trembling. "I was pregnant with a demon's child, Navarre's. They wanted a little demon for their experiment. I guess they believe I'm a monster too, because I'm too strong and I don't know what. I guess they think that only a demon can love another demon." _

_"Too strong?"_

_"Well, not strong enough, I wasn't even able to save our son…" _

_Spike held her shoulders shaking her lightly, "Don't say that, I'm sure it's not your fault." But she wasn't listening._

_"They made me have an abortion. They took our son away in order to study him. I saw him on their table, they opened him up as if he was a rag doll, opened his chest, his head… And I didn't do anything to stop them. It was his, our child." Her voice trembled violently Spike took her in his arms. _

_"Wait, you said you saw!"_

_The girl nodded. "The demon killed Navarre and made me blind a couple of days before you found me… Good week that one, isn't it?" She tried to smile but her lips trembled again._

_Then suddenly Lilea moved away._

_"Do you… Do you Have a shower?" She asked casually._

_"Yeah, a sort of."_

_"Can I?" _

_"Of course, come with me." He took her hand. This time was different. Usually he wasn't exactly kind, he simply took her wrist, without caring too much. This time he held her hand with sweetness, his movements were slow, allowing her time to follow him without difficulty._

_He showed her the makeshift bathroom - it wasn't any more than a tap with just cold water - and he gave her some __towels._

_"I'll bring you a clean T-shirt."_

_"Spike," she was speaking without facing him, her face was against the shower. "Thanks, I can't normally speak with people about this…"_

_  
__Spike listened to the water flow for a long time. He had no difficulties in understanding this girl's pain. She seemed a lot younger but she had to be just a couple of years younger than Buffy._

_The Blood, he should have recognized it! Ok, he hadn't exactly tasted the girl, but its smell, it was so similar to a slayer's smell… intoxicating, powerful an aphrodisiac in a certain way. _

_Was this his way to redemption? Helping a new Slayer to become a Slayer? There were too many coincidences. The blood, the demon-wolf, the girl's strength, her skill with the cane, her ability to kill vampires, the speed with which she healed, not normal for a girl. No wonder that that stupid Iniziative soldiers confused her with a demon. Idiots! _

_Wasn't this girl a little too old to become a slayer? Maybe, but all the signs showed him she could be. And this made him reflect about the Power. Vampires never understood exactly how a Slayer was called. That foppish of Dracula boasted he knew everything, but since he never shared he could just be a very big liar. Whatever it was that picked the chosen ones wasn't very fair. It forced them to have an unlife life similar to that of vampires, just without all the fun and the immortality. They lived in order to make the word a place where others could live, without ever having a break, without a normal life, without friends. In fact, Buffy was the first slayer he knew to have friends. Perhaps that's why she was still alive. The darkness she was carrying with her since she had come back from the grave probably have killed her if she hadn't found something as strong as her death-wish. _

_Well, this seemed a too easy way of redemption. He was going to give the girl to the Council of Watcher and she would be their problem. Yeah, for sure they would have looked for her everywhere. He would give her, and then he was going to start his new life as… well he still had to think about that, but he was a smart guy, he was going to think of something._

_Strange. He was starting to look the slayer thing under another point of view: killing the slayer he never understood that, or simply it was easier thinking the slayer as girls you have to kill to demonstrate how cool you are. But the day you are Chosen your life ends. It was like that for all the slayers. Ok, Buffy was an exception, but she died twice since she started. The girl under the shower wasn't going to resist so long. Too much pain in her. And moreover she was blind. How long could she survive? Maybe he should save further agony and kill her just now. _

_He walked slowly toward the shower. The girl's breathing was trembling and she was sniffing. _

_"Are you ok?" The vampire asked._

_"I… I will be," she whispered. _

_To Be continued_


	8. Chapter 7

We're getting close! I promise… Spuffy count down can start!!!!

**Chapter 7**

September 2002

"Dawn!!! Hurry up! We can't be late the first day!!!" Buffy checked her look in the mirror for the millionth time that morning.

"Nervous?" The red-haired witch gave her a friendly smile.

"Completely terrified, Will."

"I remember the feeling. When I took miss Calendar's class I was scared to death, but it went it all fine." Willow smiled at her trying to calm her friend down.

"DAAAAAWN!"

"I'm here, no need to yell." The younger Summers sister walked out of the kitchen.

"Ok, we go… Am I presentable?" The slayer looked at her friend with anxiety. Her dark skirt and white shirt were not the best outfit she had, but it seemed ideal for a meeting with a principal.

"It will be less scary what you think."

"Really?" Buffy was scared. That was so unusual. She had always been the sort of person who thought that the best way to deal with your fears was to confront them.

"No, but it's the right thing to say."

Willow closed the door behind her. "Giles was great, pushing the council in order to let you have this job."

"Oh God, my school-mates will hate me, I live with the counselor!"

"I don't look like a teacher!!!" Buffy's tone was a little outraged.

"You aren't allowed to speak with me in school. I don't exist for you at school…"

"You'll change your mind the first time someone or something tries to kill you."

Dawn raised an eyebrow. "I still wonder why they have built the school in the same spot. It's crazy!"

"No idea, sis… Sunnydale's people seem to forget all too quickly."

"Apart from us." She nodded smiling.

"Apart from us." Both the other girls repeated almost at unison.

Mister Giles had spoken with the new principal of Sunnydale High School. He said he seemed a little more human than Snyder, but not that much.

He agreed with the former librarian to help Buffy, giving her a job. It was a job as a counselor, and honestly it was more than Buffy had hoped .The slayer still didn't know if Council had intervened or if this employment was purely down to Giles.

This job didn't keep Buffy busy too much, a lot of spare time for study and patrol during the night. It was easy to keep an eye on Dawn, and there was also enough time to check Willow, too. She knew, even if they never spoke about it, that sooner or later Giles would be gone again and she didn't want to risk becoming too distract by everything - job, money problems, guys live or undead, to not notice when her friend or sister were in trouble again.

So she had to create the right situation for her life and Dawn's.

She probably was the oldest Slayer in history. And she was going to stay alive for a really long time. Her death wish was further and further away every day, but she wanted to be sure Dawn would be safe, if, when something -death- would happen to her again.

Overall Buffy needed a life of her own, and since the day she left the Doublemeat Palace Job, her life had started again.

She could see the new building now. She tried to remember: her first day at school was so long ago, Los Angeles seemed centuries ago. She had just been a little empty doll, who craved attention, from people at school, and from her parents usually too busy in fighting to realize she needed their support.

But now university would be starting in a few days. The perfect time to sort out her life with its new commitments. This year was going to be a really busy one.

"Buffy, if you are going to come back to earth, we're here." Dawn was the first of two people that were staring at the new counselor, Willow simply giggled.

"Sorry I was just…"

"Daydreaming, come on…"

Willow escorted them right to the front of the new school and they watched her walking away after agreeing their were going to meet later at the Magic Box.

From the moment the red girl wasn't anymore in sight the Summers sisters separated. Dawn saw a couple of friends from middle school and she stopped at the lower steps of stairway.

Buffy had almost entered in the long corridor when the her sister called her.

"Good Luck with the principal!" Dawn yelled at her. The older sister didn't answer but her smile was clear enough.

And now the scariest thing ever. The principal's interview.

Knock knock

"Come in."

Buffy couldn't remember having been so nervous in all her life. She approached the man sitting at his desk, fighting to stop her hand from trembling.

"Mr. Wood? Buffy Summers."

"Summers, you're late." The new principal was a lot younger than she had thought. How old could he be? Late thirties? He didn't look forty. Probably even thirty but he couldn't be that young if he was already a principal.

"I'm sorry... I lost myself in the building, it's different from the old one," she tried to apologize.

"You're late and you haven't a ready excuse." The guy's tone didn't change, it was inscrutable.

"Yes, sir."

"Learn that you should never let students put you in such difficulties," he warned her.

"Yes sir… but actually you're the principal."

"Quite right." He stayed silent for a while. Was he trying to hide a half-smile? Then he put on his desk three dossiers with Buffy's name on them.

"You know what these are?" The principal asked her when he realized she had seen them.

"No idea." The slayer hated herself for being so nervous. 'Can he be a demon? I kill him, end of story.'

"I made some searches on you." Again there was no tone to his voice. "The first is your school record from when you were in Los Angeles."

"Oh." She was starting to wonder if a panic attack would save her from this man.

"This one is Principal Snyder's notes about you."

"Oh." 'Ok I'm going to be fired even before I start my first day'

"But this is the most interesting." He held up a rather thick file. "This, actually, is what got you the job. I asked some questions to a lot of your former classmates. Most of them barely knew your name."

"And this is positive?" Buffy's voice was unsure - she felt like a five year old kid.

"No." Again no tone to his voice.

'This must be a nightmare... Now I'm going to wake up. Or I'll find I can stake him.'

"The positive part is when they answered: 'She saved my life...' and most of them said it happened more than once, and someone said it happened even recently."

Buffy couldn't take her eyes from his face. "Open it and look at the first one."

Buffy did, and read aloud the name of the girl.

"Mandy Flinn." They had graduated the same year. There was an accurate story about what happened that day. It ended with 'She saved our lives.'

"Everyone helped that day," Buffy breathed.

"This girl is my niece, my sister's daughter, so you saved her... and me too..."

"You? That day?"

"Also, but almost six year ago, at the parent teacher day. You shut me, your mother, Snyder and a couple of other people in a room."

"I remember..."

"I have quite a good memory, and I remember you told us to not go out, as if you knew what was happening there. Someone tried to do it anyway, and got killed. I remember my disgust when Snyder told a policeman he said that he was the one who said to not run away, even though he was the second one trying to escape from the window. I know it's a silly thing but I noticed that." The guy stood up, walking toward a little table not far from the desk. He poured a cup of pleasant smelling herbal tea.

"Do you want some?" For the first time his voice was quite jovial.

Buffy shook her head.

"You should, it tastes quite good."

"Ok, then, thanks." He gave her a cup and she sipped reluctantly. "It's great," she had to admit.

"I know." He said with self-confidence. "So, now, about your job. I expect you to do your best."

"I will do, sir."

"And I hope you'll do the same with your university work."

"I hope so, too."

"I spoke with Rupert Giles. He told me incredible stuff about you, and he told me why you had to interrupt your studies. I'm sorry for the loss of your mother." His sympathetic look let Buffy know that he really meant what he was saying.

"Thanks." She smiled at him, but then she looked away from him. She was never going to be comfortable with people speaking about her mother.

"All these circumstances make me think you deserve this job."

"I really don't know what to say." Buffy's eyes were on him again, while she was unable to find anything to say to thank him.

"You can go now." He dismissed her again with a neutral, business-like tone.

"Yes, sir." She rose from her chair.

"Miss Summers… This is for the University principal. Make sure you give it to him from me."

"I'll do it first thing, when college starts."

Buffy moved toward the door and opened it.

"Miss Summers?"

She turned.

"You weren't late, technically you were two minutes early."

Buffy smiled at him, closing the door behind her. Strange one, this man.

To be Contiued


	9. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Lilea entered into the shop and she looked around amazed. A myriad of colors were shining around her, some lights were quite faint but others seemed so vivid that she could almost see the real form. She couldn't remember seeing such a variety of colors, even in the demon bar she went to with Spike lately before arriving in Sunnydale she hadn't seen such energy.

She walked slowly, tapping her way with the stick. "Hello?"

"The shop is closed, be back in a couple of weeks!"

Lilea turned toward the voice and she gulped. Definitely a demon's light.

"I was… I was looking for Anya."

"You found her, it's me." Anya was standing in front of the girl who was staring at her with a sort of embarrassment mixed with what could be… Could that be fear?

"I need to speak with you alone." The foreign girl seemed more unsure.

"We are. My associate is in the basement."

Lilea handed her the note.

_"I need your help,__  
__don't speak about this with anyone.__  
__I'm outside the back door.__  
__I haven't got much time.__  
__Spike"_

"Spike is back?" Anya didn't hide all her wonder at the news. She, like all the scoobies, thought Spike was a closed story.

The girl nodded. "But he doesn't want people to know."

"The Scooby gang won't be pleased about this." She paused for a moment. "I can't leave the shop now. I have to wait for someone to get back or for Giles to come out of the cellar."

"If the shop is the problem, I can look after it for you, until you come back."

"Oh come on, you're blind, you can't look after anything." The demon girl was quite straight in her speech.

"True, I am, but he -" she pointed to Navarre "- isn't. Believe me we'll take care of the shop."

"Don't steal anything! And don't let anyone in."

A young boy entered the shop, exactly at that moment. "Kid, the shop is closed, leave." Lilea couldn't avoid an amused smile. The impolite manners of this demon girl were quite funny. Spike had strange friends in Sunnydale.

She saw Anya's colors move toward what, she guessed, was the back door. She didn't hear the guy walk toward the door, until now. Parquet on the floor was really helpful in checking the movement of people. She looked in the direction of the boy.

She saw a little light moved toward the door. She called the wolf, pointing at the walking light.

"I'm sorry kid, I think you forget something," she said, with a tone that didn't show any doubt.

"What?" The boy's voice trembled.

"You forget to put down the little thing you just took," she said with a very self-confident tone.

"It's not true!" Again the guy's voice trembled badly.

She extended her hand. "Give me that back and leave."

"You're blind! You can't see if I have something!" Now the kid's voice was more full of rage than anything else.

"I said give me that back or I let the wolf take it from you," she said in a polite tone, but letting him understand that the threat was pretty serious.

"You're crazy! I didn't steal anything form this lousy shop." The young boy was starting to yell.

"Navarre." Lilea pointed at the boy and the wolf started snarling and barking.

A voice came from the back of the shop.

"What's happening here? Anya?"

The guy protested. "You stupid bitch!" Then he threw the little pendant he was going to steal at Lilea and ran out of the shop.

She caught it in the air. Well definitely this pendant was really magic.

"I'm sorry for the noise," she apologized "You're the owner, sir?"

"Yes. I am."

"Then I guess this is yours." She moved carefully toward him. He had a glowing sphere with him, or at least it glowed for Lilea.

The girl hoped the man hadn't notices her expression when she heard his English accent. Spike was English too. She shouldn't be so obsessed about the Council. Spike wouldn't let her run any risks giving her with the Council again.

"Erm, I told Anya I would look after the shop… she'll be back in a few minutes…"

"Strange, she didn't warn me." Giles looked at the girl, becoming a little more nervous.

"It was a sudden engage, she didn't know…"

"Oh, so you are a friend of hers." The man's voice was casual and polite.

Lilea was also sure he was a little stunned by this Anya-Demon-Girl leaving the shop, and he wasn't wrong to be so astounded, so she smiled at him.

"A friend of a friend."

The former librarian looked at the girl, realizing he was interrogating her.

"I'm sorry, how unthinkably rude of me, I'm Rupert Giles." He moved closer in order to shake her hand.

"I'm Lilea." The girl extended her hand toward the voice, missing him completely, but Giles, realizing, grasped it in his. Lilea smiled, a little embarrassed.

"I would give you a chair… But honestly I haven't any clue where Anya put any of them. But if you excuse me for a minute I'll get one."

"I really thank you, sir, but I'm leaving… If you are here then I am not needed here anymore."

"Aren't you going to wait for Anya?"

She shook her head. "I guess it's OK with her, if I go." The girl called her wolf, and walked toward the open door.

**-O-**

"I'm not saying he's a monster of liking, but he's strange, I still don't know if he's cool…. He's interesting."

"Good or evil… like Snyder?" The Witch asked her.

"Even Adam was nicer than Snyder!"

The three girls entered into the shop without really paying too much attention, banging against Lilea.

The wolf snarled at them.

Lilea opened her eyes wide: she could recognise the energy she had seen at Spike's place the night before. Near there was a very powerful green one and the third was also strong several shapes of color, very dark in some places but very brilliant in most parts, streaked with what she guessed to be pain.

"Sorry, we were distracted…"

Lilea smiled, "I was distracted too, it's ok."

Buffy looked at the girl with a little more attention, and her expression changed: the white cane, the candid innocence of her face, she was without any shadow of doubt the girl in her dream.

The wolf smelled the power in the three girls and kept snarling.

"Navarre, cut it out. They're… friends."

The animal moved its head under Lilea's hand and she gave it a light scratch. "Come on, puppy, we have to go."

Buffy couldn't take her eyes off the girl.

"Sis, are you ok? You're pale."

"That... girl, I dreamed about her! She's in danger."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely… she's going to be killed!"

"How?"

"A vampire," and she felt silly not being able to pronounce Spike's name.

Giles approached the door looking as the girl moved away.

"She's Anya's friend. I think we should warn her."

"I'll follow her."

"How long? Let us speak with Anya, before we do anything."


	10. Chapter 9

I couldn't do that! I could just post a so short chapter like the N. 8, I really felt bad about that... So here, with this chapter the first part of the story end. Enjoy!

**Chapter 9**

Spike threw his cigarette down when the door opened. He checked it was the person he was waiting for before stepping forward in order to be seen. He nodded to her with a tiny gesture of his head.

The girl in front of him was clearly embarrassed.

"Hi…" She smiled, looking toward the door.

"How are you?"

Anya had the strange feeling he really cared about the answer, as if he really wanted to know. "Better than last time." She smiled at him again.

"Good. I'm glad of it." He paused, breathing deeply. "Anya, I need you help." He said, without any pause.

"I don't know if I can."

"I need to contact Giles. It's very important." His tone seemed damn serious, and so did the determined light he had in his eyes.

"Oh, is that all? Easy." She shrugged.

"I knew I could count on you." Now he seemed relieved as if she had just saved his life. His eyes were shining now with a grateful light, something she couldn't remember having seen from him before. Something had changed in him.

"He's living at Sunnydale Motel at the moment."

"Is he here again?" She nodded.

"He came back after Tara's death."

"Oh God. Is she… when?" His expression changed again, as if in a moment he remembered all the times he had met the dead wicca.

"The day after you left."

"How… is Willow?"

"She's healing. She went all crazy and tried to destroy the world, but you know Xander saved all of us." Spike could hear pride in her voice.

"You're again… you two solved your problem, didn't you?" He asked with a half smile.

"We're not a couple officially, we're trying and we have a lot of sex."

He smiled. "Has he started to respect you?"

She smiled but didn't answer. "He's still very mad at you," she said with a sad thoughtful voice.

"I know."

"Not for _**US**_… for Buffy…"

"He's right to be mad, and I really can't blame him for that," he almost whispered.

"I'm sorry." She answered in the same way.

"Yeah, well. That's not why I need to speak with Giles." Spike tried to avoid the topic. He always did that, when he was uncomfortable.

"Really?"

"The girl who gave you the message. She is the reason. I need his help. She needs him." Again that firm gaze. Was he really so worried for his odd friend?

"Oh, ok I'll tell him. She's strange, she stared at me as if she could see me."

"She probably can, you're a former demon, so she can probably see you quite well."

"Not former." Anya's voice was a mixture of pride and regret.

"You're a vengeance demon again?" She nodded. "Oh, congrats, you, lucky girl!!!" Anya smiled, he was the only one who had congratulated her for no longer being human, without remarking on how silly her life as a human had been.

"I'm not the only one here who's changed, am I?"

"How… yeah… Well. It's done. It's not something I like to talk about."

Anya stared at him for some time. He wanted her to keep it secret? Even with Giles? Could she deal with that? He helped, when Xander dumped her he was there for her. Ok, they both went too far that evening, but he was so caring and sensitive and understanding. Definitely she could help him, she owed him that, at least.

"Tell him I'll wait for him tonight, when the shop will close, at my place. Tell him it's about the slayer."

"I'll bring him myself, I promise Spike, by the way the shop closed months ago."

"Oh."

"Willow destroyed it. But it will open in a week"

"It must have been a great show, I'm sorry I missed it."

Anya smiled at him again. "I have to get back inside."

He nodded.

"I'll tell Giles."

"Don't tell _**ANYONE**_ but him I'm back. I'll leave soon probably."

"I like knowing you're back." She looked at him for a second, then she gave him a big hug, quite unexpected. He embraced her back for a moment, then she ran away.

"I'll tell him," she whispered again before vanishing through the door.

**---OOO---**

Spike started to worry now. It had been hours now since Lilea had given Anya the message.

The door opened slowly after just one knock.

"Where the bloody hell have you been?" The vampire yelled even before turning toward the person walking in.

"Sorry?"

Spike looked toward the crypt entrance. "Oh, it's you…"

The watcher looked at the blond vampire in front of him, without speaking, simply staring at him and strangely this seemed to affect the guy. "Anya said you were back."

Spike seemed nervous. It was the first time Rupert could remember the vampire having a problem speaking with him. The guy was avoiding his gaze, looking at him for a brief moment and then staring at the door.

"Yeah, well just for few days."

Was he pretending to be casual in his answer? "She said that too."

Then the blond guy stared at the watcher's eyes, asking, "And you're going to stay?"

"I don't know. I haven't decided yet." The older Englishman answered, trying to figure out what the vampire had into in his mind.

"Buffy must be very happy about your return." Was emotion what the blond vampire was trying to hide?

"I guess she was, she is."

SILENCE

Spike poured a big glass of scotch.

"Do you want some?"

Giles shook his head, while the vampire sipped his glass slowly.

The vampire downed his drink. "It's about the slayer."

Again SILENCE.

"Spike," Giles' voice seemed quite pestered. "Why do you need to speak with me?"

The vampire ended his drink in only one sip. "It's about the slayer." He repeated.

"Try and make Buffy's life harder and I'll dust you myself." The Watcher's voice was decided and firm. But Spike couldn't understand if Giles knew what he had done.

"I know you'd try," Spike smirked.

"So, what do you want?"

Spike emptied the bottle into his glass.

"When Buffy died the first time another slayer was activate. What happened last year?"

"You mean after Buffy's…" Giles avoided the word. He took his glasses off and started to clean them. "This time it didn't happen."

"You would know?"

"Well I guess the Council would tell us. Spike, what's the point?"

"I think you're wrong. There is another Chosen One."

"Impossible, there are two already and Dawn is a sort of slayer, too."

"You're not listening to me. I'm saying **THERE IS** another one…. Bloody hell, woman, where in hell were you!" He said both statements as if they were just one, without stopping himself.

"You already asked it to me." The watcher turned toward the door.

"Shut up , watcher!"

"I was exploring the town. You didn't say how much time you needed."

"You didn't tell anyone else I was back, did you?"

"I promised! Of course I didn't tell anyone." Lilea was a little vexed. "I _**AM**_ trustworthy."

"She's right, you have to be more respectful," Giles added, with an ironic tone. It was quite fun to see this girl with the vampire. He knew she wasn't a vampire because he had seen her walking in the sunlight. She seemed fragile and resolute at the same time.

"I said shut your mouth, watcher."

She made her way toward the stairs. "By the way," she added, descending them, "next time I could do that, I'll tell everybody your secrets." There was laughter in her voice.

The vampire stared after her as vanished downstairs and kept staring at the hole in the floor she vanished into, silently, listening to the sound of her cane on the stairs.

The watcher waited a few moments, then again he started to fret. "Spike come on… what's the point?"

"The point is that I know we have another slayer, and vampires aren't the thing she has to worry about the most."

Giles adjusted his glasses. "I'm having trouble understanding what you are talking about."

"I want to let you know that I think this girl is the new slayer and both the Initiative and the Council are trying to kill her. So you have to protect her. It's _**YOUR**_ duty, not mine. I _**kill**_ slayers."

"This is the most idiotic thing I have ever heard."

"You fool! LILEA!!!!!" he cried. "Come here, we have to show something to this stupid watcher."

"What's wrong?" The vampire aura was shining with dangerous colors.

"Just defend yourself."

The girl held her cane tightly. "Spike you're scaring me."

He moved toward her and she stepped back.

He punched without much violence, he didn't even feel any pain in his head.

"Spike, stop it!" the Watcher warned, but the blond vampire didn't seem to have any intention of stopping himself. He wanted to hit her harder.

"Spike, I'm not going to be shown like a circus freak!" He gave a kick, which she parried. He did it again and again.

"Spike stop it!" Lilea knew he didn't' really mean to hurt her because his chip still didn't activate, but what probably he didn't realize was it was how deeply this was hurting her. And her anger was growing.

Her eyes filled with tears of rage. He tried to hit her again and, this time, she reacted. A couple of movements and he was on the ground, scrubbing the corner of his mouth with his fist. It was bleeding.

"You see, Watcher, she's as strong as Buffy. You have to help her."

"She's undoubtedly strong, but this doesn't mean…"

"Idiot! Let them kill her then! I won't let her die without a fight. I'll train her, I already did.. I'll watch her back. That bloody Council. I just wish I massacred everyone in that useless circle. And if anything is going to happen to her I'll do it, even with this bloody chip in my head. They want to kill their own slayer, and then they say vampires are the animals. At least we're not supposed to have souls, what's their excuse? "

"It's impossible." The watcher's mind answered that they had already tried to do something similar to Faith, but they had some reason for doing that, not a good reason, but there was thought behind it.

"If you don't want to help her go away right now. And forget everything, We leave town tonight." Spike's eyes were flaming.

"You think fighting well is enough to make her a slayer? "

Spike opened his mouth but he didn't say anything, He simply turned and walked down the stairs.

He watched her. She was packing.

"What in hell are you doing?"

"Moving"

He was downstairs with a jump. "Why?"

"Why?! You tested me!! What's next? Kill and dissect me in order to see how I work?"

"I had to prove to him you're the slayer." Lilea refused to look toward him. His face was stunned. He was trying to understand what she was doing. Perhaps if she would look at him now, his colors would tell her exactly this.

"I'm what? I'm nothing. I'm no one. No, I'm the one who's leaving."

"Please, don't." This time he just whispered with a husky voice.

"I hate being tested. Spike, I can't bear it anymore. It's… I simply can't."

"I was trying to save your life."

"Have you any idea what being examined means for me? Goddess, every time I hear that word I see my baby on that table and…" Her voice trembled badly "I have to go now." Her voice was barely audible.

Lilea could see Spike a few inches from her. She felt his hand on her shoulder. She moved slowly towards him.

"Luv, I'm sorry. I don't say that often, but I am now. Really I am." She nodded "I'll never do that again if you don't want to." He paused, then he leaned his head against hers, until their noses caressed each other. "I didn't mean to hurt you. Will you stay?"

Lilea nodded again. "I need fresh air," she breathed.

He escorted her above.

Giles stared when they appeared again upstairs. The vampire and the petite brunette were standing with their arms around each other. The girl had her head leant against him. Spike kept her cane in his hand, she leaned almost completely against him and that allowed her to walk without needing it.

"We never saw each other tonight, Watcher. We didn't talk, you don't know I'm back. And I'm not, because we'll leave - you told me not to make Buffy's life harder, remember?"

"I can keep it secret."

Spike opened the door and Navarre was there.

"Where you have been, puppy?" He barked repeatedly. "Navarre?"

The wolf walked away a little, then started to bark again, then he moved further still.

Spike felt Lilea tense against him.

"Something is happening, isn't it?" She took her cane from Spike's hands. "I'm right behind you, Navarre, run."

The girl left Spike. He started to chase after her. They didn't care about Giles. The watcher closed the crypt door and walked behind them.

"Oh no!" Lilea ran as fast she could, following carefully every change of direction of her animal's color.

To Be Continued


	11. Chapter 10

**And Spuffy is back!!!!!!!!**

**Chapter 10**

Dawn was lying on the ground, crouched against a tree. Buffy was standing a few inches away, protecting her badly injured sister, ignoring her own injuries.

"Dawny, keep talking, please."

"It hurts, Buffy…"

The slayer kept repelling vampire attacks. She was so tired. Her pain was growing worse, but all she could think about was that Dawn was hurt and she needed to go to the hospital. And she wondered how the social services would react this time. They sent Miss Kroger when she broke her arm. Buffy was sure this time they would take her sister away. Of course, that would only happen if they survived, and she wasn't very confident about that right this moment. She remembered what she said when Glory kidnapped Dawn. 'The last thing she'll see is me protecting her.' She didn't want it to happen. Not now, not in this way, not ever.

The closest vampire hit Buffy right on her bleeding arm. She moaned, dusting him, fighting fiercely to hold back the tears that stopped her from seeing what was happening around her.

---**OOO---**

Lilea recognized the girls in front of her, their lights were unmistakable. She could also see the growing fear in both the girls' auras and their physical pain.

"Spike, take care of the girls, I'll take care of the vampires."

"The contrary would be better."

"I don't care." Then loudly she said, "Oh vampires, this is making me so scared." What she was saying, and, more than that, the ironic tone in her voice made the demons turn. "Ok, I'm not so good at pretending." And this time she really was lying.

She was now just a couple of steps from the first one.

"Three girls in one night. I love these evenings."

"I love this too... " She was waiting, it was obvious. She wasn't going to attack first. She was studying them. She had a satisfied smile on her face while the stupid vampires were moving toward the blind girl.

Moving toward Buffy, Spike looked at Lilea. He had never seen her so relaxed: she seemed extremely confident, and she appeared more adult than he was used to.

The new slayer's cane started ducking and weaving, in an almost hypnotic way.

**-O-**

Buffy stared at the strange woman. How could she protect both of them, another girl or her sister? How could this foreign girl be so confident with vampires, couldn't she see their faces? God. She was blind. It was going to be a quick fight, maybe it'd give her just enough time to take a breath.

Buffy stepped back toward Dawn, then she knocked against someone, and in the same moment two hands moved to her shoulders.

It was a strong grip, but not violent. Resolute but not forceful.

"It's all right, we're here to help now. Are you OK?" She didn't move, or even answer. "Buffy, are you ok?" He forced her to turn.

She whispered his name.

**-O-**

Buffy felt completely overwhelmed. He was back and she felt lost, for the first time in months she felt vulnerable, not physically but emotionally. All the unsaid feelings, all the rage, everything she felt, after _**THAT**_ night, hit her so violently.

Spike forced her to turn. She was very pale and with an indecipherable gaze in her eyes. His hand grabbed her face. "Buffy… tell me you're OK!"

"Dawn's hurt." Her voice was almost a breath.

"I'll take care of her." His tone was reassuring, the vampire was speaking to her as if she was a child. He grabbed her wrist and strode toward the younger sister.

Dawn seemed unconscious. There was a lot of blood on her shirt. The teenager opened her eyes when the guy took her in his arms. "You're back…"

"Of course, little bit. No one will hurt you."

"I knew you'd come back. You promised her you'd protect me."

But neither him nor Buffy could say if she was really awake.

**-O-**

Giles was staring at Lilea fighting. This was enough proof. Ok, perhaps the vampires were tired from the fight with Buffy, but she dusted most of them with little effort.

"Watcher, your keys!" Spike yelled to him.

"What?"

"Car keys! We have to take her to the hospital." The watcher looked toward them: Buffy seemed scared to death, Dawn was paler than a ghost and Spike was acting as the gang's boss. The older Englishman indicated the parked car and said he would meet the others at the hospital as soon as possible.

"Watch her back, " Spike added before leaving, with a threatening tone, pointing at Lilea.

**-O-**

Neither Buffy nor Spike in their lives had thought a journey through Sunnydale to the hospital could take so long, but now the small town seem suddenly endless, even though the vampire was driving in a quite scaring way while the car's engine was screaming in the silence of the quite evening.

The driver never took his eyes from the streets, except for his constant, quick glances to the unconscious girl at his side. Dawn was lying in the car, completely senseless, she didn't even seem to be in pain, as if she was sleeping, but the pale color of her face contrasted with the big red spot on her t-shirt.

Buffy's hand was pushed tightly on her sister's wound in order to stop the bleeding, but the blood was flowing between her fingers. Buffy's face was smeared with blood, as was her shirt. She was whispering tireless nonsense in the girl's ears, and pleading with Spike to drive faster.

The vampire frantically banged on the car horn when he stopped the car in front of the E.R. "HELP!!!!" he yelled, jumping out of the car, "WE NEED HELP!!!!" - then in a second he had the teenager in his arms.

Buffy reached forward inside, pushing the car horn again while the blond guy moved toward the building's entrance. He almost broke off the door when he opened it with a violent kick. Paramedics were already walking toward them, the noise they made before entering having caught the attention of everyone in the hospital.

"She's hurt. She lost a lot of blood!" he yelled, almost running toward the doctors. Then suddenly he stopped and as carefully as he could he lay the girl on the stretcher they were carrying.

People kept speaking with them, asking things they both answered, barely realising what they were saying, staring at the doctors who started to move around Dawn's body and head, checking her reflexes and things that neither Buffy nor Spike understood.

The young girl was so close to… to death. God. It was so unfair, not in this way. How many girls had Spike seen dying? Too many… But not her! she couldn't…

Buffy screamed her sister's name when she was carried into another room. One nurse stopped the older Summers girl from entering.

"Please," she pleaded "I have to be with her… I'm her sister… Please… She needs me…"

She was stopped by a male nurse who was forcing her to wait outside. Then an older woman moved in front of Buffy's path.

"The doctors are looking after your sister, but you have to wait here, it's safer for your sister if you wait outside. The doctors can't do their job if you're around, they need to concentrate, can you understand that?"

She nodded, trying to look beyond the glass door to where Dawn was lying.

Just then Buffy realized that a nurse was questioning her about Dawn's previous condition. She asked about her family, she asked if someone needed to be contacted, keeping questioning her in an effort to calm her down. So many questions Buffy hadn't the will to answer. Questions about what happened, who stabbed her sister, how it happened. And it took a big effort to not tell the truth… her mind was absent, focused only on her sister.

"How is she?" she kept asking, but the nurse never had any answer for her. Ok, she was kind but she was also useless, if she couldn't tell her Dawn was going to be fine.

**-O-**

Five minutes. It would have made all the difference. If only he had run faster, Dawn would be safe now. Again, just like the time before. He was never enough, even with his new stupid soul. And now Dawn was fighting for her life and Buffy was destroyed.

How long was it that Spike kept his eyes fixed on what was left of the Slayer? Her breathing was racing, her eyes wide open in a mixture of fear and desperation, constantly asking about her sister from anybody who came out from that damned glass door. And just when he forced himself to tear his eyes away from Buffy's face he noticed her arm. How could he be so foolish and forgot that she was hurt too?

He moved closer silently, deepening his fists in his pockets. He breathed uselessly before speaking.

"She needs to be checked too," Spike whispered, pointing at her arms, waiting for the nurse to notice.

Buffy shook her head firmly, without taking her eyes from the door. "I'm not. Not until I know how she is. She needs me to stay here."

Spike moved between her and the emergency room, breaking her visual contact. He didn't speak until she met his gaze. "You won't be far and I promise I'm not going to move until you come back." Spike stared into her eyes for a moment, but he then he looked away quickly. He wasn't able to hold her stare. Too painful for him. "She needs her sister at her best." He made a gesture to the nurse and moved to Buffy's side.

The nurse observed the couple in front of her: the guy moved his hand to the girl's shoulder without actually touching her. Was he afraid he might hurt her? Probably, she guessed. And the older lady realized that this young woman's arm was badly injured too. Approaching the couple she could see that her patient's sister had stopped the bleeding by holding her arm very tightly, probably without even realizing that clearly. The professional wondered also how the girl could manage to ignore her own pain.

**-O-**

Some minutes later Buffy was lying on a little bed. She had the feeling that everything was spinning around her, she felt more tired than she could remember, she had probably lost quite a lot of blood too.

Taking care of this girl lying on the bed, the nurse noticed that the girl forced herself to breath heavily to stop herself from moaning while the injury was tended to. On both the girl's arms were evidence of several marks but more clear were the signs of her own fingers where she had held her arm too tightly. She vaguely remember the girl's mother, they had shared some mother-to-mother chat when, some years earlier the nurse had had problems with her daughter. The lady… Joan? No… Joyce? Yeah, probably Joyce, had given her some tips that had been very helpful. The nurse and her daughter now barely had any problems. She had found out only a few minutes ago that the nice woman was dead.

"Stay here, I'm going to ask the doctor for a painkiller for you."

Buffy nodded, closing her eyes. _'I saved her from Glory and almost got her killed tonight. She's just a kid. Let her survive, please let her live.'_ Buffy turned her head toward the door. It was closed but through the upper glass she could see Spike grab a doctor's arm and talk with him. The vampire's reaction scared her, he kicked a bench near him violently, then he turned again to the doctor.

Moving was really a big effort, she hadn't realized how weak she felt, but she walked slowly, too scared to ask about her sister.

_To be Continued_


	12. Chapter 11

Thanks to people that are reading this, and overall thanks to the people that are giving feedbacks!!!

**Chapter 11**

Spike saw the doctor who was taking care of Dawn walking quietly toward him. He grabbed his wrist, trying not to be too violent.

"How is she?" he asked, before the doctor had time to be scared.

"Are you a relative?" The doctor looked him straight in the eye.

"A sort of…" the vampire mumbled.

"I'm sorry then, I can't answer."

Spike looked toward the room where Buffy was lying. He saw her looking in his direction.

"Your colleagues are taking care of her sister in the other room. There're aren't any other relatives."

"Oh, well… then…" He breathed deeply. "Dawn went into a coma some minutes after arriving here."

"Shit!" The vampire kicked a bench in his rage. Strange, not so many years ago he would have reacted by breaking the doctor's neck, if only he had cared about any human.

All the people in the corridor turned toward him at the kick, and a security guard moved quickly toward them until the doctor made a gesture for him to stop. The man in fact didn't seem scared at all.

"I'm sure she will recover soon. She is strong, honestly I really was amazed she was still alive when she came here." The doctor put a hand on the upset guy's shoulder and Spike realized with wonder that rarely had a human spoken to him with so much care. As if he really was a real person.

"Can I see her?" he asked.

"It's not allowed yet, a nurse is taking care of her… You'll be able to later."

The vampire was going to thank him, another thing he usually preferred not to do, but then he saw Buffy's face appear behind the glass-door for a second before it opened.

"How is she? Is… Is…" Buffy was completely distraught, she didn't even realize she was wearing just a very light undershirt with spaghetti straps.

"She's alive, but…" Spike paused for a moment. How could he tell her that? Just say it. "Buffy, Dawn is in a coma." The girl opened her eyes wide, they filled with tears, but she didn't cry, she covered her mouth with a trembling hand.

"I have to see her…"

The doctor looked towards the other glass door. "It's not allowed, but I guess I can make an exception. However, only one of you can go in." Spike simply stepped back, no other words were needed here.

Buffy took a couple of steps, then everything seemed to start spinning around again. She raised her hand in order to lean against the wall but she missed it. All she felt a moment later was a couple of arms holding her firmly.

"You can't frighten us in this way, luv." His voice was sweet and whispered, but Buffy could feel how much he was scared.

The doctor was taking her pulse. "You need to rest, Miss Summers."

"Dawn is all I need, please! I'll be fine. I have to see her…"

He turned toward Spike. "Can you help her?"

The vampire slipped his hand behind her back, letting Buffy lean against his shoulder. He realized she wasn't really aware of his presence, she wasn't in the same condition she had been when Glory had kidnapped her sister, but she was quite close. She was barely conscious of her own injured arm or about her almost naked upper body.

Spike helped her onto a chair near Dawn. A nurse cleaned the blood from the young girl's unconscious body. A blood pack was now linked to her IV, and also a transparent liquid.

The vampire stared at the ruby-colored pack and he was surprised that he had no reaction. All he was able to think of was the little bit linked to it.

"I'll wait outside, luv, take your time."

Buffy nodded caressing her sister's hair.

**-O-**

He walked toward the waiting room public phone, looking for a couple of coins into his pocket then he dialed a number.

" 'llo?" A sleepy female voice answered on the other end of line after several rings.

"Red? It's me, Spike"

"Spike?" Willow sat straight up in her bed.

"I thought you'd want to know we're at the hospital. Dawn is seriously injured."

"I'm coming."

"No! It's dangerous, there are too many demons around! Listen, as soon as Giles arrives here I'll come to pick you up. I don't wanna leave her alone, I can't."

It was quite clear to the witch who the 'her' was Spike was speaking about. "I'm getting dressed."

"She's coming, I have to go." He was about to hang up when a voice stopped him.

"Spike!" Willow yelled, now completely awake.

"What?"

"Thanks for calling."

**-O-**

Buffy walked slowly toward him, holding her arms tight again around herself, then she started to move them in order to warm herself. She barely raised her eyes, even when she stopped just a few steps from him.

"They have to take her upstairs for some tests. I have to wait here."

The slayer was speaking to him, as if they had just seen each other the day before, as if nothing had happened between them, as if he was a Scooby, without care of hide her fears about Dawn.

"It's cold …" she said casually, and at that moment Buffy realized she only had her underwear on. She blushed violently. "Where's my shirt?"

Spike stared at the marks the nurse had noticed earlier, and instead of answering her question he slipped off his duster and the burgundy shirt he was wearing over his black one.

He handed her the shirt.

Strange.

He helped her put it on, but after a little while he noticed that the slayer hadn't realized that it was open, and worn like that it wasn't keeping her warm at all.

Spike had never tried to dress her, he had honestly never thought about it. He had dressed Drusilla, he often helped Lilea with dressing but dressing Buffy had never entered his head. All he was thinking about here was simply keeping her warm, his thoughts were so far from the erotic aspect of what he was doing that it didn't occur to him that this could affect him at all.

So, aware of Buffy's confusion he started to fasten the first button. His hand trembled when he brushed against her skin, he tried to ignore the emotions he was feeling but he realized that he couldn't go further.

Then abruptly, he removed his hands, letting their eyes meet. They didn't speak, they simply stared at each other.

"Where's Giles?" she breathed after a while.

"He was with Lilea, with my friend, he's safe with her. They probably have a lot to talk about."

Buffy didn't really have the energy to ask him what they needed to talk about or who his friend was. Spike, probably for one of the only times in his unlife, didn't know what to tell her, so they shared a meaningful silence.

"You should sit you down, try to sleep, I can call you if I see anyone."

"So you can smooth over the news if something goes wrong?" Buffy was massaging her temples with both hands.

"No, so you won't see me killing if someone brings bad news." The slayer looked straight at him. It was probably supposed to be a joke, but neither of them laughed. She wondered for a moment if he really meant what he just said. He seemed damn serious.

"Honestly, I couldn't sleep just now. And I am not going to do anything until I know she's safe."

"She will be! You don't... She will!!! You have to believe that!"

"Like I did with mom?" Her voice cracked badly. "I wasn't able to save my mom because I was too late... And I didn't protect Dawn enough! It's my fault... It's always my fault!"

SILENCE.

SMACK.

SILENCE.

**-O-**

Buffy's cheek was still burning. She covered it with her hand, staring at the guy for what seemed like an age. The slayer could see the horrified expression on his face. He smacked her in reflex, she knew it. He hadn't meant to hurt her, even after everything they had been through she knew that. He slapped her because she was starting to panic and that wouldn't help anyone. Not her, nor more importantly, Dawn.

"You know that's not true. You aren't responsible for everything that bloody happens in this world! You already went into this, when you fought Glory to save her. Buffy, you fought a god in order to save her! How in hell can this be your fault?" His voice was mad and trembling.

He just hit her _**AGAIN**_ and all she could think of were his eyes and his cracking voice. Her sister could die at any moment and this _**MAN**_ was here for her. Where in hell was everyone else? Where was her father? Where was her watcher? Where were her friends? She was alone, alone like before.

But still his face was taut from the slap. And from the uncomfortable way he started to shift his weight from foot to foot she could see he was going to leave any second. Buffy didn't know how she knew that, but his face definitely wasn't that of a person who was going to stay.

And then she felt even colder inside. What was that loneliness? How could she survive the icy feeling that welled up inside her? She felt just one deep shiver that she didn't even try to fight.

How could the man she hated so deeply, and who had just slapped her, have such a caring voice, asking, "Still cold?" His voice had changed again: it was almost a whisper now, and he kept giving her quick glances, without being able to face her fully.

Buffy tried to answer but she couldn't find the breath. She simple nodded lightly.

Spike took the duster and put it around her shoulders. She realized that he did this whilst carefully avoiding contact with her body. He had his arms open and his hands dropped the duster gently on her shoulders, trying desperately to not brush against her.

And then the unexpected happened.

_To be Continued_


	13. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Spike was there, his arms still tensed, fighting the instinct to run away for having hurt her _**AGAIN**_, struggling desperately with the instinct to take her in his arms and hold her in order to erase her fear away, in order to stop her from feeling alone. He guessed it wasn't his soul this time. If Buffy would let him, he would do the same without it. He had always cared. He had simply never been able to demonstrate that physically. And now, after the biggest mistake of all his life he could never even dare to think about doing it.

Then, without any forewarning Buffy moved. Just a step, not much, but it was enough. She threw herself into his arms, hiding her face against the vampire's neck, her hands clinging to his back

For a couple of seconds Spike stayed motionless, too stunned to react, then slowly his arms closed around her, holding her tightly.

_**Breathing her smell again.**_

She wasn't crying, she wasn't moving, she wasn't kissing him, she was simply inert, as if she wanted to be lost, there, in his embrace, in a safe place, as if he was really safe.

It was so good, it seemed so right having her so close to him, but for the first time holding Buffy in his arms didn't inspire lust. Spike simply loved being there with the only one able to make him feel alive holding him as if she really needed him, as if he was worth of being there.

**-O-**

Probably neither of them realized how much time had passed. It was a few minutes, probably, but it seemed like a century and at the same time just a couple of seconds. It was, for the time they stayed in that position, as if they were out of time.

Spike felt Buffy hold him tighter and then release him slowly.

She stepped once back.

"You…" She gulped, closing her eyes for a moment. "I didn't forgive you, you know that… don't you?" Her gaze was so lost and her voice so quiet, but she was staring into his eyes.

He simply nodded.

"But… I can't…" No one could blame her for not being able to end the statement.

"It's not the moment, I know that, I know it's not me you want here too, but I'll wait until your friends arrive, then I'll be gone." His words were quite hard, but his tone was sweet and caring, and smoothed them.

The only time she could remember him having been like this was the night she had come back from the grave. But now he was less amazed and more worried.

Spike's eyes were still full of all the regret he felt for that night. "You have plenty of reasons not to forgive me, for being mad with me, for hating me. I hate myself too. You can dust me, I won't complain. But until they arrive, let me be here for you… as a friend, or at least, if not as someone you care for, just as someone who cares for you and the little bit too."

They stared at each other again for an endless time.

"I'm so scared," she whispered.

"I know." He moved a strand of hair away from Buffy's face.

"I can't survive without her…" her voice cracked and her eyes seemed to plead with him to tell her again that everything would be all right.

"You don't need to think about this. She will be fine, I know that." He lied reassuring her.

"Spike…if… if she gets any worse…" She breathed deeply. "Bite her, make her one of your kind." Had he ever seen such desperate look from her?

"I would never, NEVER do that!" His voice was a mixture of anger, pain and shock.

"I don't want to lose her." Her eyes filled with tears.

"She will die - a demon will live in her body and you'll have to kill it. Is this what you want? Killing your sister twice?"

"But we can restore her soul… it worked with Angel!" Buffy tried to defend her request, even though she knew perfectly well she would never let this happen.

"And then? She wouldn't be a vampire, or a human, she would have an unlife, forever, is this what you want for Dawn? To be nothing, with a semi-life - no sun, no friends, no love, no happiness, nothing? You haven't got a clue what it means. She will never grow up, she will never be free to love someone, she will never have kids… and all the time she will know that she is going against her nature to kill. I'll be the first one to dust her if that happens." Again his voice was full of emotion, it even trembled a couple of times.

Buffy was staring at him with a strange look he wasn't able to decipher. He smiled at her sadly. "You want her to be like that Teddy Bear, Angel?"

"I want her safe," Buffy whispered.

"Slayer, she will be. We're not going to talk about this anymore."

'**_Slayer_**.' This word always had a strange effect on his lips, in moments like this, Buffy noticed. He used that word in the past when he tried to piss her off, or when he wanted to force her to react. His voice was always so expressive, as much as his eyes. If she had been less tired and worried she might have wondered how a soulless undead man could seem so alive.

She whispered his name and their eyes met again. "Thanks…you're always here when I'm miserable." She winced. "I already said that, didn't I?"

"Another time you asked me why."

She smiled lightly. "I'm glad I noticed that before," she said with an absent tone.

Spike was speechless: he really didn't know how to react. She was acting as if nothing had happened, he hadn't thought she would be able to speak with him in this way. In such a different way. Even in their best moments she had never spoken like that. And it had even more value since she was doing it in the worst moment of her life. So, maybe, she didn't hate him, or at least not completely.

"Hey girl! Dogs aren't allowed in the hospital." The security guy's loud voice broke the silence around them.

"It's not a dog, it's a wolf." Buffy saw Spike smile at that statement.

Then a familiar male voice added, " It's her seeing eye dog. It's ok."

"It should be wearing the harness!" the guard pointed out.

"He's allergic," the blind girl added walking toward Spike's energy.

**-O-**

"Did you play poker with them? You took an eternity." Spike's voice seemed to have once more found the hardness and the insolent tone Buffy was used to.

"Nope, they cheat more than me, it wouldn't be much fun." She moved closer to his ear. "So I dusted everyone." Then, at normal volume she added, "Mr. Giles and I spoke a little, well not really a little, and he's a lot more English than you…" She kissed the vampire's cheek. "Sorry if we made you worry. How is the little girl?"

"Not too good," he said, moving Lilea's hair back as he had done earlier with Buffy.

"I'm sorry," she said, biting her lip.

What the talking couple missed was the look Giles and Buffy shared, but what the blind girl couldn't avoid noticing was that Buffy's colors went crazy when she kissed the vampire. She couldn't hide a big smile when she turned toward the official slayer.

"Lil, I want to introduce Buffy, Buffy, this is Lilea, a friend of mine."

The girl in front of her was smiling, but Buffy didn't care. The natural way the stranger kissed Spike's cheek and the familiarity with which she placed her hand on Spike's arm were unbearable. '_An unforgivable sign of lack of respect for the hospital… patients._' Buffy told herself.

"We brought some coffee and some donuts, it was the only thing still open, we thought they might be better than hospital food," Lilea said nervously, confused by Buffy's crazy colors.

"This must have been your idea, Giles would have just brought several cups of tea, he's stingy," the guy joked, looking quickly at Buffy to see if she was smiling.

"I'm just here, I heard you."

"I know. It wouldn't be funny if you hadn't." And Buffy seemed to smile this time. "Whatever, I still need your car."

"No you don't!" The Watcher's horrified tone didn't stop the younger Englishman.

The vampire grabbed Lilea's arms. "Come with me."

The girl was almost dragged away before the watcher could react to their leaving.

**-O-**

Buffy stared at them almost running away. She watched Lilea walking as fast she could, almost stumbling into her stake, with the speed at which Spike was dragging her away. The strange girl was wearing a pair of black pants, a grenadine-colored shirt and a pair of boots, the same style as Spike's. But there was something wrong with the big trace of light gray on her clothes. It looked like … ash… DUST!!!!

"Oh God, Giles! I left you with all the vampires!" She found herself grabbing her watcher's arms tightly.

"I need to talk to you about that…" he said calmly.

"I'm so sorry! You are OK, aren't you?? They didn't bite you…I mean, you're still alive and…mad, you're probably mad with me too…and you're right to be because I left you in danger." She sounded as if she was starting to panic again.

"Buffy, breathe deeply and listen to me. Do you remember the night you fought the master?" The watcher tried to carefully explain about the new slayer.

"Is the Master back?" Buffy didn't even try to hide her fear at possibility.

"No, he's not, listen to me. You died for a few seconds." He continued trying to explain.

"I guess for a couple of minutes."

"Let me finish, Buffy, please. Well, Kendra was activated."

A suspicion knocked on Buffy's head. "Giles, the short one…I want to check on Dawn."

"Oh, ok. The last time you died, Lilea was called."

"But she's…" She frowned for a moment. "Can a Slayer be blind?"

_To be continued_


	14. Chapter 13

Let me know what do you think about this story!!!

Please?

**Chapter 13**

Spike was silent for a long time. It seemed pretty clear to Lilea that he had no intention of telling her what had happened. He didn't even ask any further questions about what Giles had told her. Or if they had decided anything at all about the girl's future.

"Did I interrupt something, earlier?" The new slayer spoke just after the car left the hospital.

"Yeah, embarrass of mine." He said with a quiet, expression-less voice.

The girl looked at the driver again quickly. Then she crouched, letting her head rest on her knees, smiling broadly. "You know, I'd really like to see you right now."

"And why?" Again his voice was hiding any trace of emotion.

She paused for a moment, looking toward his colors his gaze when he looked at her briefly, before looking at the roadway again. "Because you're glowing."

"Maybe I'm pregnant." This time he gave a half smile, without moving his eyes from the road ahead.

"Silly!" She paused. "You know, I'm wondering what you were like before you got your soul back. I'm quite curious just now. I think I would probably have loved to meet you even before."

"If it had happened before the chip, I would probably have had a really good dinner with you… as the first course." Again an emotionless voice. It was quite effective how his toneless voice could be in contrast with all his colors spinning.

She stayed silent for a long time.

"Spike?"

"What?" This time he seemed a little annoyed.

Lilea bit her lip a couple of times before finding the courage to ask. "Why didn't you tell me about being a Slayer?" She barely breathed as she said it, as though if she stopped she would never find enough courage to ask the question.

"Did Giles tell you about the 'Chosen One' thing? That's why you both took an eternity?"

"The whole speech, I guess. Too bad I'm blind or I suppose he would have shown me the whole brochure. They have a sort of instruction manual, can you believe that?"

He smirked.

She waited a little while and then she asked again. "Why didn't you tell me before?"

"I let you live your life a little longer," he said, without wanting to add anything at all.

"What life? Can you call what I have a life?" Her voice was barely audible.

"After this it will become worse. Smell this car. This is what I'm giving you. Can you smell their blood here? If you still don't hate me it's just because you've no idea what being the slayer will mean. You'll hate me for this. Bloody hell Buffy died twice, and she is the strongest Slayer ever! I know that - I killed two of them!" He barely seemed able to contain his rage. He turned to look at the girl sitting beside him, giving just quick glances to the road.

"But how…"

Lilea shut up abruptly when she felt Spike's hand just a few inches under her neck pushing her tight against the seat, just a moment before the car stopped without any warning. He usually did that every time he saw a possible danger, even though he knew she always had her seat belt fastened, in order to stop her from being thrown forward. He started to do it the first time he drove her toward the sorcerer who was going to become her master, just after he saved her for the second time.

"We're here. I'll be back in a few minutes. Wait here."

**-O-**

Spike's violent knocks at the door resounded all around, into the silence of the night. One moment later a light switched on upstairs.

"Red!! It's me! Come on, hurry up!"

The witch opened the door in a few seconds.

"Hi Spike." Willow's face was a little paler than he remembered. She was tired, she probably hadn't slept at all since he phoned her a couple of hours ago, and her expression was mortally sad.

"Hey, Will." He simply gave her a half smile.

"I'm ready. " She was already closing the door behind her when the vampire stopped her.

"Take a change of clothes for her." He paused for a couple of seconds "For Buffy… hers have Dawn's blood on them." The last words were almost whispered. He seemed so damn hurt, and this made Willow worry more.

"Dawn's that bad?"

He nodded without looking at her.

"I'll be right back," she whispered and he watched the red-haired girl vanish upstairs.

**-O-**

The vampire heard a footfall behind him, and smelt a familiar smell.

"I said to wait in the car!" His voice seemed really angry.

Lilea walked slowly toward the colored energy. She caressed his face with a sweet, compassionate smile, and then silently she embraced him.

Spike moved his shoulders a little uncomfortably. They often shared hugs, or touched each other's arms or shoulders or hands, he supposed it was Lilea's way of seeing, but it was the first time in a long while he had felt this feeling. "What's that for?"

"I can tell now, I know when you're being rude in order hide your hurt. I wanted be sure you know what a wonderful person you are."

The vampire smirked, staring at the girl, but it seemed as if part of his pain was gone. "Can I kill you next time you analyze me?"

"Nope." She was smiling sweetly against his chest.

"Are you sure?" he asked, playing with her hair feeling the girl smile against him.

"Yep" The girl stepped back slowly.

"Ok, then I won't kill you," he answered casually.

"I love you when you don't kill me." Again she was smiling.

"I do too, when you don't let me kill you." He carefully helped her walk down the porch steps.

There was an almost silent movement behind him.

When he turned toward the red-haired girl, Spike noticed a strange look on Willow's face. He smiled slightly at her. "Come on, girls, Will's needed."

He took Lilea's wrist and moved toward the car, helping his friend to sit in the back seat, away from the marks of Dawn's blood.

**-O-**

Spike was driving fast, taking a different street toward the hospital.

"I didn't think you trusted of me when I phoned earlier…"

"Well, I heard the call for a doctor while you were talking." She stopped for a moment. "And Giles just phoned me some minutes earlier and told me you were probably coming. He told me what you said earlier."

"Watcher calling… Yeah I should have figured that out." Then they stayed silent for a while.

Willow shifted in an uncomfortable way, a couple of time, even when the car was moving fast. Sitting in the car with Spike and his new girlfriend wasn't exactly her ideal evening. She wondered if the girl was a vampire, but she had never heard of a blind vampire, so maybe she was human. Could a human girl love someone like Spike? Even though she had missed most of Buffy and Spike's relationship, and furthermore the end of that and his departure, she knew he was serious about his feelings. He showed honest hurt for Joyce's death, and an almost big brother-ish love for Dawn, when Buffy was gone. And she knew he was serious about his feelings and his concern for her friend was real, in the phone call he made to her a couple of hours ago.

And then. Looking at the body language between the vampire and this strange girl was really confusing.

The mutual tenderness they were sharing was pretty obvious. The brunette girl had her hand resting on the vampire's shoulder and it didn't seem to bother him at all. Even though Spike had left Sunnydale, and she still didn't know why, Willow was sure that his feelings for Buffy were still deep inside him, unchanged, but this new girl was confusing her. Had he moved on? But she remembered the look on her best-friend's face when she found out about him and Anya. It wasn't something she could explain, but the hurt was so evident, so obvious.

The sensation of feeling observed made the vampire turned his eyes toward the witch's. He smiled sadly at her, trying to keep his eyes on her longer than he could.

Willow was staring at him, probably without even noticing that she was, obviously thinking.

"I only found out today about Tara." He paused for a long moment, giving the girl time to be ready for the words she probably heard too many times already. "I'm sorry, I really liked her." He paused again. "She was sweet."

Willow nodded, smiling sadly back at him. "Thanks." She knew he really meant that. "She kinda liked you too."

He looked at her again, even though the girl was avoiding looking at his face, glancing a couple of times to the street "If there is anything I can do… "

The redhead moved, shaking her head, whispering "Nothing…" then she met his eyes again. "But thanks for asking."

His answer was a shrug.

In the back seat Lilea was strangely silent and motionless. She could see the suffering in this girl. Her colors so very clearly came from being hurt. A pain so deep, an emptiness she knew only too well. And Lilea felt like an intruder into Willow's life, spying on her colors in this way, so she forced herself to stop her strange, blind 'looking' at her and turned her face away.

Her hand tightened almost at the same moment. "Oh my…" she whispered. "Spike, stop the car," she breathed, with fear in her voice.

"What?" The vampire looked at her in the rear-view mirror, the girl was staring out of the car with a horrified expression, her hand now leaning on the glass. Her breathing was racing.

"Stop the car!" There was panic in her voice now.

"What's happening, luv?" He couldn't remember her ever looking like that before. Usually she didn't stare at _**THINGS**_.

"I have to get out! Stop this stupid car!" She was almost yelling when the car stopped. The vampire quickly got out and helped her to do the same.

Lilea practically ran across the street without care about the traffic. The sound of a car horn echoed in the almost silent night.

Spike ran after her, grabbing her violently, releasing her from his grip just a little in order not to activate his chip, when he felt a faint shadow of what could become intense pain.

"Are you trying to kill yourself?" His voice was hungry while he shook her hard.

But the blind girl didn't stop staring past him into the darkness.

"Spike, what's this?" She was barely able to speak from the shock of the sight that only she could see.

"What's what?" The vampire was losing his patience. Buffy was in hospital needing her friend and he was here in the middle of Sunnydale.

"This!!!" She pointed toward a building just a few steps away.

"It's the new high school, can we go now?" He tried to walk back toward the car, firmly holding Lilea's wrist.

"No!!! It's bad...it's…I've never seen anything like it…It's dark…it's black." Every word was said with a smaller voice. "I'm afraid of it…" she whispered.

And just at that moment he understood, how could he be such an idiot sometimes? He smiled, caressing her hair and kissing her head lightly.

"Sometime I forget how much you can see," he said with his more reassuring tone. "What you can see, pet, it's the Hellmouth. You don't have to worry about that, not tonight at least."

"Hellwhat?"

"Hellmouth, the only one active at the moment, and they built this school here. Exactly on top of it."

"Oh!" She stayed silent, biting her lip for a while, then she scratched her head. "Then I guess I over-reacted, didn't I?"

"Just a little…don't worry about that. Get back in the car. She needs… She needs Willow there."

Lilea smiled at him. "She needs you too."

"By the way…when did you become so good at running without your stick? Run across the road like that another time, luv, and I'll kill you."

"Yes, daddy."

**-O-**

The rest of the return journey toward the hospital was quite fast and with any other delays. The vampire looked back at his friends: both now were silent. Willow had such a sad expression. She seemed resigned, but her pain didn't decrease for all that. It was so unfair! He remembered the last time he saw Dawn before he left, she had said that Red and Tara needed to be alone. They were such a good couple. Tara was able to leave the girl she loved in order to force her to choose what was better for Willow's sake. It was not an easy thing to do. He wasn't able to do that for Buffy. Quite the opposite. He pushed her so far, so much that he wasn't able to keep his self-control. In more than 120 years of unlife, he had never done anything that had sickened him so much. Killing and torturing were not right, ok, with his soul now he knew, but they were never so despicable as brainwashing someone in order to make her weak.

_To be continued_


	15. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

Giles had a strange expression on his face when he came back from the public phone. "Willow already knew," he said with amazement.

"How? She had a premonition?"

"You won't believe that: Spike called her earlier. He's coming to catch her. He said he was going to go there as soon I would be here. He said he didn't want let you alone."

Buffy's lips almost smiled. "Very Spike-ish." She stayed silent for some seconds. "God, how long they need?" Her voice was tired.

"No idea, sorry "

Buffy looked again at her watcher. "He -" she avoided saying the vampire's name " - said you and the girl needed to talk a lot. So there's something more we need to know? Besides her being a slayer."

"Yes, and she's in big trouble, or at least this is what they say. But we'll deal with that later." He stopped and pointed. The doctor was coming toward Buffy.

"Miss Summers? Your sister is now in room 312. It's in ICU. As I said earlier, she's is in a coma. But we're quite optimistic, the operation went faster then we thought. Her heart is strong so it never stopped beating. This means that oxygen never stopped getting to her brain the whole time, so my colleagues and I think that brain damage is highly unlikely. Unluckily we can't know how long she will remain in this state."

"Then she will survive, won't she?"

"I think so. I don't want to give you any false illusion, she can stay in this condition for just few hours or months, or forever. The human body is a mystery."

"Can I see her again?" He nodded.

"Third floor, room 312. I'll check on her and on your arm too, later."

**--OOO--**

Giles had to wait outside. Only one person at a time could be in the room. Buffy left the door open, taking a chair. She caressed her sister's head.

"Dawnie, come back to me, please. I know how good it is there, but you're so young, and Spike is right, you have so much yet to do, you have to kiss someone - I mean someone living - you have to fall in love with someone special, and you still haven't been to any proms. You can't leave without that, we have to break the Summers' bad prom habit. And we have to show dad how great we are, even without his help. Oh God, Dawn, in the movies this always works, they speak and people simply wake up - Ok, people in the movies are dressed better, speak in a more sensible way than I'm doing, but the girls are just as pretty as you are. I'm blabbing, sis, but please wake up. Please, Dawnie, don't leave me alone."

A light knock on the open door and the young woman ran to embrace her friend tightly.

"Will, Will…" This time Buffy didn't need to be strong, like when her mom died, this time she could let herself cry all her tears, and she did, while Willow was doing pretty much the same.

**-O-**

Lilea and Spike were observing the scene from a distance. She could feel all the pain even without looking at people's color.

The vampire looked at her. She was strangely quiet. Maybe he should made a mistake, he was the one who had to explain her about the slayer and the Hellmouth thing. He was insensitive.

"Are you all right?"

She smiled, resting her head on his shoulder. "Yeah, just thinking about how it was."

"'How what was?" Then he stopped. "Oh bloody hell, I'm so bloody stupid! I completely forgot about your own sister." He moved closer, brushing her hair. "Is there anything I can do?"

She gave him a big smile. "Sweetie, I'm not the one who needs you, tonight." Her face pointed toward Buffy's colors.

He glared at her. "How dare you call me that?"

"Oh, I beg your pardon, your evilness." Her voice was smiling.

"I could kill you for that."

The girl stayed silently for a couple of seconds thinking. "Mmm no, I'm too tired for be killed."

"Then I'll have to try another time." He sounded a little disappointed.

Then give me just five minutes, Lil."

He walked toward the room knocking lightly. The two awake girls turned to him.

"Buffy - he whispered "- I'm leaving."

The older Summers girl moved closer, stopping just a couple of steps from him.

"Leaving town?" Her voice trembled and he also thought he saw a shadow of panic in her eyes. But of course it couldn't be, he thought.

Spike stared at the scared young woman for some time, then he pointed toward the window. "It's almost day."

"Oh." He smiled at Buffy, raising his hand few inches from her hair, then his hand moved onto her face, cupping her cheek with it.

They didn't speak, they simply looked into each others' eyes, telling each other what it wasn't possible to say with words. All the love, all the caring, all the feelings they were sharing where there. Only a look.

Even if he had been alive his touch couldn't have been warmer, and the cold sensation she felt when he walked slowly away almost froze Buffy's heart.

"Spike?" Her voice, again in a tone unlike her usual voice, trembled.

When the vampire turned, a beat later, he noticed that she was biting her lips almost enough to make them bleed. "Your duster…" She started to unfasten the over-large coat.

Spike bent his head for a moment, staring at her nervousness. "Next time," he answered, joining his friend and walking away.

**---OOO---**

The vampire and the new Slayer walked escorted by the wolf, no demons, no danger, just a long silent promenade. When they arrived at the crypt door the light outside was already starting to change.

When they entered she pretended to check her bag, letting him to stay upstairs. She mentally verified all the things she needed to buy again. Last time they had left too quickly, and they forgot most of their stuff. Lilea was able to take her book of shadows and a couple of other magic books, losing most of her stones, herbs and dresses, and most of the few things she had simply hadn't survived being smashed under a car that night.

It was just as well they had trusted in Spike's paranoid instinct, keeping some money and stuff in a different place from where they were living. Just before Sunnydale they had left in quite a hurry. They realized they were being followed. That was why they had split up in Las Vegas. Spike had entrusted her to a demon who was Clem's crazy cousin, threatening him with death if he didn't make sure she got safely on the bus for Sunnydale the next morning.

Giles had asked to meet her at the magic shop in the late morning, so she could get some new things and he said also something about being trained, not that she understood what he meant, but she agreed with him. If Spike trusted him, she had no problem doing so as well.

But now her best friend was worrying her. The guy had been sitting in an armchair since they arrived. He had said he was going to watch some TV, in order to be left alone, but it was still switched off.

The guy was uncommonly silent.

His silence contrasted with his screaming colors. Pain, regret, love?

The girl caressed his shoulder, smiling at him in an unspoken question.

"Honestly, Lil, I don't know if I can do this."

"You can. You're strong enough."

"Yeah, well…"

"Spike, you know," Lilea chose the words she was going to say carefully "she has feelings for you. It doesn't matter what she says. She can be scared or mad with you, but she'll trust you again."

"She won't. I wouldn't do that." His voice was completely emotionless.

The girl smiled again, whispering, "You're not a woman."

"I'm not even human."

She caressed his face, with a sweet look in her eyes.

"I love you just the way you are."

He smiled back at her, holding Lilea's hand . "It's late, go to sleep." She kissed his cheek before vanishing downstairs.

_To be Contined_


	16. Chapter 15

I should wait tomorrow to post another one... but... Well hopefully you'll like this.

**Chapter 15**

Days flowed past quickly.

Spike and Giles started to train Lilea very hard during the day and helped patrol during the night, giving Buffy time to take care of her sister. The official slayer was spending all her spare moments from work with Dawn, speaking to her, trying to tell her jokes, telling her what was happening in town, making her listen to music, all the things she found helped people in comas to wake up.

Sadly all her efforts weren't as useful as she hoped. The doctor who visited Dawn every day since the girl was hospitalized started to be less optimistic, and he also had the sad duty of telling Buffy that the youngest of the Summers' girls might never wake up again.

The only positive side in this situation were Buffy's friends. Dawn was never alone. Xander, Willow, and even Anya helped a lot.

Harris was back from his refresher course his chief had sent him on. Something about security and materials, and even though he wasn't very happy about it he had to agree. When he found out what had happened to Dawn he helped as much as he could. He was the one who brought hot meals for the girls in hospital, sharing some turns with them. To his shame his work didn't allow him a lot of time to help, but he was always ready to do it. And he kept cheering up all the gang, sometimes with visible effort. Xander loved Dawn as a sister, and in fact, the Scoobies were his real family.

One Monday, Buffy walked Xander to the elevator. She saw him disappear behind the sliding door. The doors of the other elevator opened at the same moment.

"Principal Wood!" Her voice didn't hide her surprise at all.

"Miss Summers, just the person I was looking for." The man's voice was warm and kind, but still his presence was making Buffy feel as if she hadn't eaten all her vegetables at dinner.

"Did I forget a meeting with some students?"

The man burst out laughing, his dark eyes were smiling too. "You didn't. Your work is fine. I'm here because a teacher gave me this." He handed her a bag with some copybooks. "She said you left them in the teachers' lounge."

"The notes! Thanks! I was starting to panic. I couldn't remember where I lost them!" She held them against her chest.

"How's your sister?"

Buffy shook her head. "Still no news. She's stable."

They stayed silent for a while, then the principal pointed to the bag.

"I hope you don't mind but I had a look at them."

She smiled. "They're for Dawn's lessons." She paused. "Mr. Wood, I'm sorry I didn't give the envelope you gave me to the University principal. Actually I never went there."

"But I saw your lessons notes too."

"Oh well, they're Willow's, a friend of mine. When she can she goes to my lessons too. I study her notes. It's like having a personal teacher. She's great at that." Buffy gave the whole speech almost without talking a breath.

"Summers, you're still nervous when you speak with me."

"Yeah, well…" He looked at her for a long moment and she felt herself blushing like a schoolgirl.

"Don't be" Again his voice was reassuring and quite warm.

"I'll try." She smiled again

"In a couple of days I want you in my office, for a cup of herbal tea." His tone was once again very professional.

"I'll be there"

"See you tomorrow around."

"Mr. Wood? Thanks for coming"

**-O-**

She really didn't wait him there. This principal was really rather a strange man. She walked toward the drinks machine. As she opened her bottle of water she realized she was overhearing a conversation. The man's voice was very familiar, the other one sounded like Dawn's doctor.

"And?"

"We don't know what else to do. There's no physical cause for her condition, her wounds are healing amazingly quickly and we haven't any clue why she is still unconscious." The doctor stopped for a moment. "Ok, it's not any of my business, but did you tell her?"

"Wha... what?"

"Her sister, did you say that you're paying for Dawn's medical care?"

He was what? It couldn't be. Ok, it was quite strange, because she couldn't remember who in the hospital had said that their insurance wasn't going to cover the medical bills, but then the same woman had left a message on her answer machine telling her that it had been a mistake and that everything was now fine with the payment. And Doctor Marthy really seemed to like him, and was speaking to him in quite a friendly manner. Was Spike such a frequent visitor?

"Don't even try to do that... and you'd better not have! She doesn't have to know. As far as everyone is concerned the insurance is paying."

"This younger generation, always scared by their own feelings. I would tell her, so that she knew I was here for her. It's very romantic what you're doing, but if she doesn't know about it… how can she repay you?"

"Doc, I came here in order to find out about Dawn, not to have a sermon about the generations and I'm not doing anything romantic. _**AND**_ it's not your business."

"Ok, I understand. By the way, thank your friend for me - that clay pack worked a miracle with my knee." But the vampire wasn't listening. He simply walked away waving his hand.

Neither he nor the doctor noticed Buffy. She was there, pale, leaning against the wall behind the corner of the corridor. Her legs were weak and she didn't know why. She needed some time to recover from the shock. Spike was paying Dawn's medical bill, and he was refusing any credit for it. What was his plan? What evil thing was in his mind? She had avoided thinking about him all this time, about the way she felt when she saw him appear in the cemetery that night almost a month and a half earlier.

His face, his touch, his arms meant more to her than being simply sensual. He cared. That was the truth. In his own, personal way, but he did. But all the fears about the relationship with him prevent her from thinking about a future for them. She knew he was the one who could hurt her deeply. He had already tried to do that to her.

It was even more complicated than it had been earlier with Angel: she loved Angel, she hated Angelus. Easy. She knew what her first lover felt for her. Love. With all his soul. "You're still his only thought," Willow said once, while he was bad. And it was true. For Angelus she was just an obsession.

But Spike was different.

He hadn't got a soul. He had a chip. But was this what forbade him to kill??? Probably not. When Willow's spell made them all forget everything the only thing he still demonstrated was the disposition to help. He didn't try to kill anyone. And it wasn't the chip. Being a vampire was an innate thing. And what he had done that evening wasn't dictated by a vampire's instinct. He had no memory of being bad, no memory of his obsession with Buffy, just a willingness to help. Maybe he was different.

'Different? He tried to rape you!' her inner voice yelled at her.

Why was everything to do with men in her life always so complicated?

**---OOO---**

"Spike, we need money" Lilea sat very comfortable onto the armchair, letting herself resting from the daily training and patrolling.

"We've got some, you won a lot last time in Vegas."

"I did, but the hospital is really expensive, and we haven't a clue when the little girl will wake up." The new slayer was sleepy and tired, but still quite sure about what she wanted.

"Ok, I'll find something." The vampire shrugged.

"What about me?"

And for a moment the guy was scared of what she could mean. Was she going to say something about feeling unimportant to him, as Drusilla used to do sometimes? "Sorry?"

"You know what I mean. I did it other times!" She yawned without adding any more explanations.

And the vampire eventually understood. "No way. It's too dangerous."

"Just a couple of times. Please… I want to help you." Sleepy and pleading - really this blind girl knew how to use her feminine weapons.

"And by the way we're in Sunnydale here, not in Vegas. Prices are different here."

"Well, you find me a place where I can do it and I will."

"Stubborn."

She smiled "Just like you, buddy"

"I'll ask around, but -" He stopped for a moment. She had already persuaded him. Evil, sweet girl. "You know demons pay better for this, especially for a human girl."

"It's ok, I haven't any problems with them."

**---OOO---**

_Knock Knock_

Buffy gulped, waiting for the answer. Would she ever become used to going in the principal's office without being terrified? Duh, she could defeat a whole army of vampires and still feeling inadequate in front of the new principal.

"Come in!"

She breathed deeply. "Mr. Wood… You asked me to stop by."

The principal rose from his chair and walked toward the teapot.

"I already told you not to be nervous, didn't I?" He seemed disappointed, but Buffy couldn't tell about what.

"Yes sir." One thing was certain, Buffy felt like an eight year old schoolgirl now.

He turned his head toward her, almost smiling. "It's a lost fight with you, isn't it?"

She smiled, a little embarrassed. "I'm trying."

"Herbal tea?" This time he was the one who was grinning and without waiting for the answer he poured two cups.

"I was touched by what you're doing for your sister. So I'm going to help."

Buffy realised that she was staring at this strange man in front of her without really understanding what he was talking about. Her expression must have shown her confusion quite clearly because the principal laughed loudly.

"I made a couple of calls. And these are the results." He pushed a couple of folders towards her.

One blue, one green.

"Open them." She did, even though this seemed too much like bad deja-vu.

There were notes - tons of notes.

"Blue are yours, green Dawn's," he said with a cryptic tone.

"What…?"

"These are the notes from all your and Dawn's classes. Well not all, actually - I need still a couple of days for them. Until your sister wakes up you can concentrate on your studies, your job and taking care of her."

"I don't know what to say." For a moment she felt tears sparking in her eyes and she had to fight them. But all the tiredness she had felt since Dawn was injured was starting to make her feel more sensitive.

"Nothing." He paused, his voice becoming as cold and professional as usual. "This won't mean you're going to pass your test with any kind of extra help."

"I didn't even think that" Her hand was shaking. Who was this man?

"That's just to clarify any doubt. You have just to do your best. And in order to know I want you to pass your tests with the highest score. Drink your tea now, it's getting cold."

_To Be Continued_

Review are not unwelcomed at all!!


	17. Chapter 16

**_Chapter 16_**

_**Two week later. **_

Mr. Giles was quite amazed when Lilea refused for the second consecutive evening to be trained and to go on patrol. In the two months since she had started her training it was the first time. She had always done her Slayer duty, until the previous evening. She said again that she needed to be free after sunset that evening. She was sorry for Buffy and apologized over and over again when the older Summers sister showed up at the Magic Box but the girl said she couldn't get out of it. The new Chosen One said she was going to ask Spike to come _**LATER**_, a lot later, to patrol with her, but neither of them would be available at all.

The official slayer was so tired. In the last two months she had had no time to breathe. The job, university, Dawn. Having someone else slaying in her place really was saving her life.

But Lilea was resolute tonight. And this made Giles mad. She was dressed carefully as if she was going on a date. Spike kept telling her to hurry up.

The number of new vampires eventually slowed down. It wasn't continuous. Nothing strange had happened for at least four days, so walking with Giles without any hurry was almost relaxing for Buffy. It was almost like taking some time for herself. A walk with dad? No better. A walk with someone she really trusted. Of course she trusted Xander with her life but someone older, someone who loved her without asking for anything back. God she was so lucky having him in her life at this moment.

Her father was absent, as usual. This time his new wife was heavily pregnant and she was about to have a new child. So ironic. He was such a bad father for Dawn, barely visiting her even after Joyce's death and he was so excited at becoming a parent again.

But Giles was near her again. At least for now.

Then from behind a bush some voices and movement brought her back to reality.

The slayer walked silently toward that point.

"She's starting, we're late!" The voice said loudly, then five, maybe six demons came out, walking quickly.

"Clem?"

"Buffy?! Hi..." His overly-cordial voice made the other demons look at him with a strange expression. "I mean… Hi!"

"Running?" Her voice was quite amused. He definitely wasn't the demon she was thinking of killing tonight.

"We're late - the show starts in a few minutes!" He seemed really in a hurry, excited and nervous, like a child before meeting his favorite actor.

"Clem, you know I can't let demons run away like this!"

The puppy-like demon looked hurt. "We're just going to Willie's! We're not going to kill anyone!" His voice almost pleaded her.

The slayer looked toward her watcher who shrugged his shoulders.

"Ok, run before I change my mind!" she raised her hand in a signal of armistice.

"It's a special night with the blind girl! She was great yesterday, that's why I'm bringing more friends today. And Spike will thank you for letting us go. Six of us… It's money for him!" he added quickly, before leaving. The demons ran, probably more scared that the slayer might kill them than at the thought of missing some parts of the show.

And at that moment Buffy felt completely silly. It was enough for Clem to say the vampire's name to make her certain that she had to investigate further. First the new slayer refusing to patrol for the second night running... Even before she realized what she was doing she was already following them.

Giles was right behind her. The watcher had never asked what really happened between his almost-daughter and the vampire. Or, more precisely, why they had split up. She had told him only that she had slept with Spike and they had laughed about it a lot once, but they had never mentioned the subject again. He had tried to ask Willow, once. But she said she didn't know much, and after Tara's loss there never seemed to be the right moment to ask.

But he could quite easily recognize the relieved expression she had on her face when the vampire was with her both in the cemetery and in the hospital. Ok, maybe this was crazy, but he felt sorry for them. And even though he never admitted it, he knew Spike was really in love with Buffy. Not just the crush he had a couple of years ago. He had shown it when Buffy died. He had taken care of Dawn faithfully, just because he promised that to her sister.

During her training Lilea confessed to him, with the promise he wasn't going to reveal it to anyone, that Spike went to the hospital every day, in order to check on both the Summers sisters, without revealing himself, with Dawn's doctor's complicity.

Strange demon, this one.

**--O--**

Willie's was dark. In the last year the demons' favorite Sunnydale bar had improved, not stylish, but a little nicer. But now everything there was dark, even on the stage all the lights were switched off.

A familiar music started to fill the room.

Jessica Rabbit's song?

Buffy opened her eyes wide when a solitary light appeared on the stage. There was a human female, wearing a gangster-style hat, a white shirt and jacket, pants and a tie.

Lilea didn't move. She sang the first word, with her face almost covered with the hat, then she raised her head.

Buffy stared at her for a long time, then she moved her eyes to the audience. Everyone seemed transfixed by the girl on the stage.

Lilea unfastened the first button of her jacket with one hand. The rest of her body was completely immobile, even though relaxed.

Demons start to bluster.

She was so sexy! Buffy wondered why. She wasn't doing anything special. The slayer looked at her watcher. He was sweating. A drop of sweat was rolling down his temple. His usual Englishness didn't crack but it was close.

Rupert saw his slayer staring at him. He slipped off his glasses, cleaning them in a moment of embarrassment. He knew the girl on the stage, he had met her every day for almost two months and never, ever, had he had such inconvenient thoughts about her. She was so young, she was younger than Buffy!

"Well, definitely a side of her I didn't know!" he said casually.

When the song ended Lilea had unfastened her shirt, too. The jacket was on the floor.

She was wearing a top with spaghetti straps. Sensuality abruptly vanished with the song. The next was almost a country song, then a ballad.

Even without the sexy aura the audience was quite satisfied. She sang songs with the backing of pre-recorded bases, but no one seemed complain that.

"The next two songs are for someone special... I hope he'll like them."

The first one was "Last time I saw William" an '80 song.

Buffy was amazed how close to Spike's history the song was. And she couldn't help feeling as if someone was ripping her heart away when she saw the sort of look the blond vampire and the blind singer shared. It was love. Without any shadow of a doubt.

Buffy wondered why it hurt so much.

The last song was really unexpected. It was 'A New Man In Town". Why this song was related to Spike was a mystery. He definitely wasn't new at all.

**-O-**

Once again Lilea felt alive. She was singing and as usual this made her feel as though she was in a sort of limbo. When she was on the stage, she was almost able to forget almost everything in the world. She could have been a great musical actress, if only things had gone differently. But again, just like the previous night, everything went so quickly, too fast, as usual.

Sometimes she forgot how good an audience demons could be. She had performed in Vegas last time, again for a demon bar, and once for humans. Definitely demons were a funnier and more attentive audience.

Being onstage made her feel so special and so normal at the same time, but again, as always it was all over too quickly, the whole show, one hour, literally rushed past. She already felt wonderful, but then she looked towards Spike.

His colors were telling her he was proud of her, and that he was happy and embarrassed for her dedication.

The last three notes. She smiled, turning her head to one side, waiting for the music to end. And for the first time she noticed something, a light, colors. No wonder she had missed her until now. With all the demon colors in the room it wasn't easy to notice people. She raised her hand to wave without really being sure Buffy saw it.

In spite of herself the official slayer answered back in the same way, feeling completely stupid waving at a blind girl. But how in hell did Lilea see her? Could this be Spike's trick?

When Lilea looked at Buffy's colors again she saw only darkness. The Summers girl wasn't there anymore.

_To be continued_


	18. Chapter 17

Hopefully you won't notice I am without the second Beta for this post :p

PS. THANKS BECCA !!! for reading this an d reviewing it!

**_Chapter 17_**

Buffy didn't talk about Lilea's show with anyone, even with Giles she never commented on it. Willie's wasn't very happy with her and her watcher not paying for the ticket. But she hadn't intended staying there so long.

After that Jessica Rabbit song Buffy could easily understand what Spike saw in her. God, the girl was sexy. But this wasn't something she wanted to think about. The girl was sharing Spike's life. Why did just the thought if this make her scream inside? She definitely wasn't interested in the vampire anymore… Not at all. A world of no.

Buffy had to shake her head hard in order to concentrate again on what she was reading. She breathed deeply when, with an effort, she finished her chapter, closing her book. She turned her head toward her sleeping sister.

"You know, I hope you listened to me all this time, all the talking I did… every day. I'm not reproaching you, but... you can't sleep so much, it's your teenage years, you deserve it, you know." She whispered, "Autumn is such a great season…with all these strange colors on the trees. I'm sure you'd like it. This year the leaves seem glued on to them. They are still on the branches and they don't seem to have any intention of falling down."

Buffy moved slowly across the room.

"Sis… I miss…" A strange noise from the machinery that monitored Dawn's heartbeat.

The older sister ran toward the bed.

One hand held Dawn's, the other was desperately pushing the alarm button, calling for help.

The sleeping girl held her sister's hand in return, then her eyes flickered, then opened.

Buffy felt her own heart stop beating from the emotion, she wanted to hug her to her chest, cover her with kisses. It was some time before she was able to pronounce her name:

"Dawnie, Dawn."

The little girl was confused and speaking was difficult for her. After a song silence, she stared at her sister and breathed, "Buffy… mom ... Saw her."

"Shhh, don't… Oh God, Dawn!" Buffy's face was covered in tears, she burst into sobs and laughter simultaneously, kissing her sister's hand. She had never felt so relieved in all her life.

When the doctors and nurses forced her to leave the room, in order to check their patient's condition, the older Summers girl phoned everyone: her watcher, her friends, their father, even her principal, laughing and crying at the same time.

Dawn's awakening brought a lot of chaos to the hospital floor, doctors came in and out of the room, making Buffy almost yell while she was on the phone with people. But during her first phone call to Giles, and she phoned him three or four times in less than an hour, she had the strange feeling of being observed. When she tried to look around she just heard the noise of a door closing hard. And even though she didn't see the person leave through it, she just knew that Spike had already found out about Dawn.

**-O-**

Around four or five hours later Buffy found herself walking slowly toward home. She needed to fetch some stuff for Dawn, and her sister was completely overwhelmed by the scoobies' attentions. They brought flowers and balloons and a lot of confusion, and strangely no one in the hospital complained.

She walked near the cemetery and then a thought hit her, something she had avoided thinking for a long time: Spike had paid for Dawn's hospital treatment. Why? If she hadn't casually overheard that conversation would she have ever found out about it? Was Spike trying to find a way to make her in debt to him?

She decided she couldn't torture herself forever about this. Ok, she had just started it, but that was what she said to herself. She needed to talk with him. So she walked right in his crypt direction.

She needed to concentrate hard to stop herself from running toward Spike's place. She wanted answers. Buffy needed to breath deeply in order to find the courage to knock, and then finally she found it.

"No one is in. Aren't you the little _'Miss Manners_' today? You're knocking."

Buffy felt herself turned to ice by the voice.

"Hey you too, Spike." The slayer turned and saw him, lying on a tombstone. He was looking toward her, but somehow she realized he was avoiding her eyes. And that was something he never used to do.

"How is the little bit?"

Buffy smiled even before she realised it. "She woke up earlier, no brain damage… She's fine."

"Good."

"Yeah"

Embarrassed? This was the strange thing between them now? They were both motionless.

"So… why are you here? Do you need Lilea? She is with Navarre just now, she will be here in a few minutes. They needed some time alone…"

"Navarre?"

"The wolf."

"Oh."

Again silence between them, then Buffy added, "Actually, I just wanted to let you know that Dawn was awake."

Buffy saw the vampire's eyes meet hers. "Thanks." His head tilted to one side, full of wonder and some other feelings she couldn't decipher.

"Spike, I thought I saw you at the hospital a few days ago…"

The blond guy's face became suddenly serious. "You're wrong."

"Weren't you there?"

"I said you're wrong. The last time I went to the hospital was that night." His voice was quite hard. He was keeping it cold on purpose, trying to seem completely uninterested.

"Are you sure it wasn't you?"

"Slayer, it wasn't me, ok?"

Buffy stared at him for a moment. He was nervous. Did he really not want any reward for paying for Dawn's treatment?

"You evil wolfy thing! I'm going to beat you sooner or later, you know that…don't you?" Lilea's laughing voice made them turn. She was running just behind the animal, holding her stick in her hand without it touching the ground. She was following the wolf's path instead. The demon jumped a little puddle and Lilea avoided it in just in the same way. They seemed perfectly synchronized. Then when she was close she looked at Spike and Buffy's energy and she stopped abruptly, starting to walk, clearly embarrassed for having interrupted them.

"Hi Buffy…" She bit her lip, then gave a little smile in the slayer's direction. She turned to look at her guide. "Come on Navarre... I'm really tired, it's very, very late… Bed time. Bye." Lilea, this was more than evident, tried to leave in the fastest time possible. Even her waves couldn't have been quicker.

She vanished a few moments later into the crypt, closing the door carefully behind herself.

Buffy looked at the door after it closed and pointed. "She's really very fast…"

"Yeah… but I'll be faster when I kill her later."

Buffy smiled lightly. They stayed silent for a while. "Can she really see me?"

The vampire nodded. "She's pretty special even for a slayer… She can see magic, or mystical energy. She can see demons, like me, or good energy, like yours." He didn't even realize he was smiling while he was speaking about Lilea.

**_'God, he's completely in love with her, he really has an obsession with slayers, and she is so young…well not as young as I have been when I was with Angel, but she seem very young...'_**

"It's really late… I should go…"

He nodded. "Buffy, are you ok?" He couldn't take his eyes off her, for a moment she seemed lost, in a way he couldn't understand. Was she thinking about Dawn? Spike guessed she was, she had so suddenly changed her mood.

It took a few seconds for Buffy to realize he had asked a question. "I'm fine… I just need to go." She started to walk away, than she stopped. "Spike?"

He turned to her. "What?"

She bit her lip for a moment, then mumbled, "Thanks."

He opened his eyes wide. "And this is for?"

She began to walk away without looking at him. "You know why…"

**---OOO---**

The following weeks flew past. Dawn wasn't allowed to leave the hospital until she was able to eat a meal and no longer needed to be hooked up to the IV but she had been told that she had to take at least another ten days off school. She wouldn't be allowed back until she was able to stay awake all day. She needed the time anyway to catch up on all the schoolwork she had missed during those two months. But life in the Summers' house was starting to return to normal.

Their father sent Dawn a big present and some money, even phoned a couple of times, but he didn't visit her. He just sent them a picture of his new son. His first son. Both the sisters almost felt sick when they saw it. Poor baby.

All the scoobies were very useful. Anya found herself to be a wizard at cooking, a hidden talent everyone was really grateful for. Xander was good at cheering Dawn up. He made sure that she took all her medication at the right times and he was an irreplaceable help for Buffy, reassuring her that she shouldn't feel guilty for what happened to her sister. Willow helped the younger girl with her schoolwork and helped the slayer so that she could start college again next semester.

Giles split his days between helping Dawn with English, and working with the two slayers. The Chosen Two usually alternated their patrol nights. Usually Buffy was alone or with Giles, while Lilea was always with Spike and her wolf. But sometimes the girls shared their training in the Magic Box, which was now open again.

One of those evenings, after patrolling and killing a couple of vampires, the two slayers, escorted by Navarre, ended their "panoramic tour of Sunnydale Cemetery" quite early. They didn't speak a lot during the night.

"Since tonight it's Giles' night for staying with Dawn, I guess I'll go to the Bronze."

"Is that a local thing? What does it mean?"

"The Bronze? You mean you've been here for more than two months and Spike hasn't taken you there? It's the only decent place in the whole town!"

Lilea smiled a little. "He prefers to take me to some demon bar he knows."

"Slayers can't hang out only at demon bars! You want to join us? I'm going with the scoobies." Buffy didn't like this girl very much, although she didn't understand why. But from what Giles told her about this new slayer she know she spent the biggest part of her days training or patrolling with one of the English guys. And Lilea she had never been to the Bronze.

The younger girl smiled. "I sure do! It's been so long since I had any fun..."

"So you've had no enough fun with me…" An amused voice came from behind them.

For the first time Buffy heard her laugh loudly. "Can we go with her, Spike?"

The vampire lit his cigarette. "Your choice."

_To be Continued_


	19. Chapter 18

**_Chapter 18_**

Less then twenty minutes later they were sitting in a corner of Bronze. They were quite early and the scoobies had yet to arrive. Lilea relaxed on the little couch.

An embarrassed silence fell between the girls while Spike went to get something to drink from the bar. Lilea smiled at Buffy a couple of times, and for some time she looked at her wolf, cuddled against her leg.

"Hey, puppy are you all right?" Lilea caressed him. "He has strange colors tonight… I don't know what they mean. I've never seen them before." She shrugged. "I guess I still have a lot to learn about this colors thing." She smiled again, blushing a little. She gave a look towards Spike's energy, still far enough away in order to add, "Buffy... thanks for letting Spike come with us. He said you don't want him around… but I guess he needed it..."

"Did he explain why to you?"

Lilea's smile faded slightly while she shook her head, even though she knew. "He's a good man."

"That's not the way I'd describe him…" Buffy absently commented while Spike approached them with a beer for Buffy and a Coke for Lilea.

"Hey… I can drink, you know? I'm old enough. You know that, don't you?"

"Then next time double bourbon, grandma," he joked, drinking from his glass.

"I hate you, sometimes." But both were grinning.

Buffy looked at them. They seemed happy and flirting, and they seemed so right together.

The blind girl moved her white stick so that Spike could sit between her and Buffy.

At exactly the same moment as the vampire sat down Buffy saw Lilea's smile vanish, her eyes open wide and tears fill them. The girl had slowly moved to face the wolf.

"What?" she breathed.

"I didn't say anything." The vampire sat more comfortably on the couch.

"No… you can't do that…" The girl stood up slowly. She was becoming paler and paler every second. She also seemed to be trembling.

Spike raised his head, brushing her wrist.

"Lilea, are you ok?" Even Buffy stood up, moving a step closer to the girl.

"No, you can't… " she said again, still staring at the wolf which was licking her hand.

"Lil, what's happening?"

"It's not fair…it's not right!" Rage and anger and desperation were mixed in her voice.

The wolf just yelped.

And then, as if it was her last breath, she whispered. "How am I supposed to survive without you?"

"What in hell are you saying?" Now Spike's voice was the angry one. He was worried for his friend, he had never seen that expression since the day he found her. She seemed completely afraid and alone.

The wolf started moving towards the door Lilea followed him, almost running, without even stopping to pick up her stick.

Spike yelled Navarre's name and strode after them, he was almost out when Buffy grabbed his left arm, shaking her head.

"Navarre is leaving," she guessed.

"How in hell do you know that?"

"What she just said… I said the same thing when Angel told me he was leaving." She avoided Spike's eyes while she spoke.

**-O-**

The vampire looked once more towards his friend: Lilea was kneeling, hugging the wolf, right in the middle of the alley. Her eyes were shut tightly. He stepped towards them but then he stayed motionless.

"God, it's killing me seeing her suffer in this way. I can't stand it!" His voice cracked and Buffy knew that he meant what he said.

"I don't understand, Spike. How can she be so close to an animal?"

The guy smiled sadly, looking straight into her eyes. "She is in love with him."

"But it's a dog!" Buffy felt as if she was the only sane person in the world and at the same time the only one without a heart.

He shook his head. "A wolf."

"It's the same thing… it's an animal! You can't love an animal in that way..."

"Slayer, stop thinking that the world has to follow your rules... They were in love before. He was a demon, he was killed, then somehow he came back, as a wolf, to protect her."

Buffy was silent, lost in the vampire's eyes, then she stared at Lilea again. "Spike, look!"

He turned: a man was holding the girl.

"That's incredible!"

"Buffy, even a demon in love can be worthy of something like that." The vampire was staring at her again and the intensity of his look made her melt.

**-O-**

"I thought you were going to stay with me, you made me think you would never leave again…" Her eyes were full of tears but she wasn't crying. "Navarre, please, I know you can do this. Let me see you, for the last time, please... I need to look into your eyes, hear your voice, please." The wolf didn't move, he just yapped.

"Oh bloody hell, Navarre! You've been here for more than six months, do you really think I don't know that you can be visible for me if you want?" "

The wolf yelped. Lilea hugged him. "I'm already missing you." She breathed deeply. "Oh Goddess, I..." She closed her eyes and bent her head back "I know it's hard for you too, I promise I'm not trying to make it harder, but..." Her words were sad and calm, but her voice was trembling. Lilea released her hug from the dog. She stared at the ground. "It's time, isn't it?"

No sound.

One hand helped her to stand up. Lilea raised her eyes. And she stared for what seemed like forever. She could see him clearly. He was the only thing she saw. No energy, nor color, just his eyes, dark and deep, full of love.

They held each other tightly.

A kiss.

Then the dark haired demon released her slowly. "Bloody hell? You've definitely stayed too long with our British friend." Navarre laughed, Lilea simply smiled at him. "Bloody hell…" he repeated to himself.

He stared at her again for some time. "I'm not leaving you alone. They can be great friends." He pointed towards the vampire and the slayer. Lilea nodded. "And Spike will take good care of you, he would probably do it even without his soul."

"I know," she whispered. "Why now? Why are you leaving?"

"You need a stronger guide than me, Lil, and you'll have one. I did what I could but I'm not enough. She will help you. I know you don't understand now, but you will." He paused "I'm going now. I don't want to vanish while I'm holding you." Navarre stepped back. "You're strong and brave, Slayer." He smiled as he said the word, and she smiled back.

He bent slightly to kiss her again, holding her head between his hands as if to impress into his memory how it felt to touch her. Then he took another step. "Lilea, Lil…It's forever."

The demon took a couple of steps, meeting Spike's look, silently asking for protection for the woman he loved. The vampire nodded to him, with a faint smile on his face, answering his silent plea.

Navarre stared again for a long while at Lilea. Then he turned, without looking back and walked away.

Before he vanished she was able to hear his voice say again, "Lil, forever."

"Forever," she breathed.

**-O-**

Buffy wiped a tear from her cheek. She remembered how painful this was. It had been years and still Angel's departure hurt her. But she never thought that she could be so affected by something that was happening to someone who was almost a complete stranger. Instead Lilea's pain moved her in a way that almost scared her. She could survive almost anything in the world. Except emotions. They scared her more. Especially after Dawn's accident she was feeling so… alive. And this couldn't be a good thing. For if she wanted to live so badly, if staying alive was becoming her main priority, then how could she devote herself to being The Slayer in the way that she should? How would she be able to take the risks that she had to take every night, knowing that she might be leaving Dawn alone? Spike had told her that all Slayers had, deep down, a fascination with death, a need to know what death was like. One day the curiosity would get the better of them. And this was when a lucky vampire would take her. This curiosity, this fascination with death was what killed all Slayers in the end, according to Spike, but it also drove them on, made them the fighters that they were, that they had to be. How could she be The Slayer if she lost that fascination, that expertise, that familiarity with death? And how could she devote herself to the fight if she had a greater desire - the desire to live? Why was she thinking about that now? And deep in her heart she knew why. Her emotion-wish was scarier than any death-wish she had. And what she saw now made her realize just how alone she was.

She wasn't able to take her eyes off Lilea.

The girl was standing, alone in the middle of the alley outside the Bronze, completely motionless. Her eyes were staring in the direction in which Navarre had vanished. She seemed like a marble statue: pale and expressionless.

Buffy saw Spike move towards his friend, slowly, silently as if he was afraid to scare her, stopping just a few inches from her. He called her name, but Lilea didn't seem to notice.

"Luv?" He carefully moved closer to her, as if he was afraid to break her, as if she was a fragile doll.

She didn't stir.

The vampire moved a lock of hair from her face and all the feelings that he felt for her become obvious in that simple gesture, and eventually she breathed, "It's as if he died again." Her voice was just a whisper.

He wanted so badly to say that everything was going to be all right, that the pain would go away. It would, but there was nothing he could say to her. "Lil, I'm so..."

"Don't say it…" she interrupted. But again she didn't move. She just closed her eyes, fighting back her tears.

"Lil, come on, I'll walk you home."

The girl shook her head as if in slow motion. "If… if I don't move, if I don't think, I can pretend I'm still telling him goodbye…if...when I walk away, he really will be gone."

**---OOO---**

Buffy poured the water into a big cup, being careful to strain the herbs from it. She also added some sugar, even though Willow said that it would slightly lessen the effect. In cases like these, sugar was needed.

"Spike, the herbal tea is ready. Do you want to bring it to her?" she said, with an unusually soft tone.

Everything was so unusual at this moment. Being in his crypt, using his kitchen-space and being polite and nice with him. They hadn't spoken much since they got back, but she was behaving very kindly to him, in contrast to the cold, embarrassed feeling she had had at the Bronze earlier, or all the other times she had seen him after his return.

When she looked at Spike she saw him so worried and in pain for another young woman. Even though she was confused after discovering the real nature of the wolf and the relationship between Lilea and Navarre, she knew how deep the blond vampire's feelings were for the newest slayer. She could see it from the way her former lover looked at this stranger, and Buffy wasn't able to destroy the strange sense of jealousy this was engendering deep inside her in spite of all the empathy she could feel for the girl's pain.

"I wish I had words to thank you for coming here tonight." Buffy shrugged, but the vampire emphasized his words, looking deep into her eyes. "No, I really mean it. She is not like you, she hasn't a sister, friends, or a watcher. She has no one." His voice was low and hoarse, it didn't tremble but was so full of pain that Buffy wondered how it didn't crack. He was sensitive, he always was, he could see things in people, emotions they were trying to hide. That may have been what made him such a great vampire, when he was bad. He could see weak points in people and manipulate them. But not now. He had in his face the same expression Buffy remembered seeing through the window of the E.R the night they took in Dawn there. Powerless.

And, probably without even realizing it, Buffy smiled at him in the sweetest way she could. "That's not true, she's not alone. She has you."

Buffy felt butterflies in her stomach when the guy looked into her eyes again. Surprise and gratitude were obviously in his eyes. How could she even think that vampires can't have feelings? Maybe he was soulless, but it was certain he loved that girl.

"Yeah, lucky girl, a vampire with a s…" he paused for a moment "…with a sodding chip."

**-O-**

Spike sat on the corner of the bed, a steaming cup of tisane in his hands. "Luv, this will help you sleep. Drink it carefully, it's hot."

Lilea was sitting on the mattress. Her hands were holding her knees, huddled against her chest. Her eyes were staring into space, her face covered by long dark hair. Spike had covered her with a blanket earlier, and it was still on her shoulders, though she was making no effort to keep it there. She had probably stayed motionless all the time Spike had been away from her.

"Lil, did you hear me?" The vampire moved closer, speaking to her slowly.

"I don't want it, I don't wanna sleep, I don't wanna do anything."

"Sweetie…"

"I said I don't want it!" She made a gesture with her hand as if she was trying to move him back but avoiding touching him. The cup flew to the ground, dashing itself into thousands of little pieces. Magically. She hadn't even brushed it or him.

Spike swore when his hand was splashed by the hot water. It wasn't a bad burn, but it was hurting a little.

She turned to Spike, horrified. "I didn't mean… I didn't…"

"It's ok, luv, it's ok"

"It's not ok. You have to get away from me. I'm cursed. Every person or demon or whatever I love dies… I just cause pain. You have to run away from me. I _**HAVE **_to run away from you."

"Don't even try." He brushed her hand sweetly. Then his voice became more amused, though it was obviously a big effort. "And by the way…" he paused a moment for the suspense. "I'm already dead."

This time it was her turn to make an effort to smile a little. "I'm so glad you're here."

"Me too, luv." They stayed silent for some time. "Hey, I know it's a bad time, and that your birthday is just next week. But I have a present for you."

Lilea felt him stretch near her, and open a drawer in the other side of the bed, then he put a little box into her hands.

"What is it?" Her voice was barely audible.

Spike heard a noise on the stairs. Buffy was there, he could feel her even without seeing her. Probably the noise of the cup being smashed had made her worry.

"A music box." He helped her to open it.

The little thing, a little glass box, filled the entire crypt with its sweet melody.

Neither Buffy nor Spike missed the sad smile on the girl's face.

"Do you like it?" He brushed her hair again, as if letting her know he was still there.

She nodded, whispering a "Thanks".

The music was almost at an end, every note was slower and slower.

Slower and slower

Spike saw a tear roll down Lilea's cheek.

Slower and slower.

She closed her eyes.

Last note.

And she burst into sobs, for the first time since Navarre left hours ago, holding herself against Spike's chest, with the vampire's arms tight around her.

_To Be contined_

mmmm Well some comments about this would be really appreciated... I'm not going to beg you... but... PLEASE... Pretty Please! Honestely... If you liked this tell me... if you don't tell me anyway so I can learn for the next time, I was worried about the dramatic part, is it too melodramatic? Let me know!


	20. Chapter 19

**_Chapter 19_**

No one saw Lilea for days, and when eventually she left the crypt she was paler than Spike. Buffy went to check on her every night after patrolling and Giles also came to visit her a couple of times, but she wasn't in the mood for speaking with anyone. Eventually the new slayer forced herself to communicate with Spike, just because she felt guilty for not answering his constant attempts to cheer her up.

Step by step in the sunlight she realized how strange it was walking without Navarre. This wasn't the first time but she had never done it for so long before. And she certainly didn't remember how wearisome it was to do it all day.

She simply walked without having anywhere to go, needing fresh air, needing the sun on her skin, but more than anything, needing to be away from Spike.

He was so worried for her. So worried that he even forgot his Buffy. He didn't leave the crypt except to order to buy something for them to eat, he never went to check on his slayer patrolling or secretly look in on Buffy's nocturnal cemetery tour as he usually did after the official slayer started patrolling again.

Lilea wondered how what had happened to her could have changed the way she felt about the world around her so much. She knew she was close to the Hellmouth but something was different now. It hadn't started with Navarre's death but now, walking down the street she realized that something had changed. Sometimes they changed suddenly in order to be back to normal in a few seconds.

Then again the colors around her mixed up and she felt as if she couldn't breathe, as if something was taking her breath.

"Goddess! Navarre This isn't you… what's happening here?"

But no answer. Nothing. She found a wall and she slid down against it, one hand still holding her stuff. Her head rested on her knees.

"Miss, are you ok?" A worried, warm, male voice asked her.

Lilea raised her head toward the voice. "I think so…"

"Do you need anything?" She almost said no thanks, but she was so confused. She didn't understand what was happening to her.

"I don't know…"

"I'm Sunnydale High School's principal, it's just on the other side of the street. If you need help, I can call an ambulance"

"No! I can't." She bit her lip, a little embarrassed for the speed of her answer. "Sorry, I don't like doctors at all."

"Do you want me to call someone?"

The girl let the stick fall to the ground and put her head in her hands. She had no way to call Spike, and anyway it was the middle of the day, he couldn't do anything but worry himself to death. So she raised her eyes, smiling, saying. "Thanks, I think I'm feeling better now."

"If you agree I'll offer you a cup of herbal tea at school."

"How can I refuse such a kind offer?"

Lilea felt his hand on hers and the other behind her shoulder as he helped her stand up.

It was strange, it was as if she was a ship in a river, she let him almost push her, as if she hadn't any will of her own. All the colors were changing around her, morphing into negative colors then back again into more normal ones.

This was happening four or five times a minute. And the negative colors were going through him. And every time this happened she felt danger and fear.

"You're so pale…. Are you sure you're alright?" The male voice was warm and kind but she barely listened to it.

She simply nodded.

Even in her confused state, with every step Lilea couldn't avoid wondering who was the crazy person who had built a school right on the Hellmouth. The evil energy was everywhere, she wondered how this man could work there and it not effect him, as he seemed so kind. She was sure he was human, she couldn't see any colors in him, so this made him probably human. But with all the mess around and inside her she couldn't be sure.

The principal poured her a cup of herbal tea for himself and one for her.

She sipped.

"It tastes wonderful," she whispered.

"Cherry, hibiscus, and orange," he explained. "Well, it was a secret recipe. But I'm confident you won't tell anyone."

"I never tasted them together before." Her voice was quite low. "Mr. …. Principal I don't know what to say, I mean, people usually aren't so kind."

"I know, well I like being "kind" to people, then usually, they feel forced to behave in the same way." He was speaking in a sort of casual way as if he was explaining the best way to run a school.

"I really am sorry for all this trouble I've caused. I think it's better if I go."

"If you agree I'd like it if you met our counselor. She's not a doctor, but maybe she can help. She's doing great things for our students." Again that casual tone. Lilea started to think that together with being polite and kind this man was also stubborn and quite sure of himself.

"No one can help me." Then Lilea realized that what she had just said sounded as though she really needed help. "I mean, I don't need help."

He grabbed the phone.

"It's Wood. I need you in my office just now." Lilea heard him hang up the phone again. "We were lucky she was still here."

Lilea leaned against the back of her chair. "Now I remember why I hated my principal so much," she said, with a faint smile on her face.

The man poured more herbal tea for them both.

They stayed silent for a while, but she could feel the principal's eyes on her and this made her very uncomfortable.

_Knock knock_

"Come in"

Lilea raised her head. Those colors, she knew them, not very common ones at all. She smiled at the coincidence.

"This is our counselor, Miss Summers."

"Lilea!" The surprised voice didn't hide any of her wonder.

"Hi Buffy!" She waved back.

The principal couldn't avoid noticing how sad the girl's eyes were even when she was smiling.

Buffy bent near the girl. "What are doing here? Are you OK? You look pale." Her voice was low, almost whispered, worried .

Lilea realized that the slayer was concerned about her. For the first time she didn't see ANY feelings of regret in the older girl's colors.

"I'm feeling better now, your principal offered me a couple of herbal tea," she explained, without have any intention of telling her more.

"Yeah, he always does. I suppose he does that with all the women." Buffy was trying to joke even if from her voice she looked really quite worried for her youngest friend touched the girl's hand. A familiar gesture that meant to Lilea more than Buffy could even guess.

"So you seem to know each other." Principal Wood was stood leaning against his desk, his arms folded and a doubtful look on his face.

"We do." Buffy didn't even bother to look at him. She knew he was quite vexed.

"Miss Summers, can I speak with you for a moment outside?"

Buffy closed her eyes, following him outside.

**-O-**

"Who is she?" His voice wasn't very friendly. Was he mad just because Buffy knew Lilea?

"Lilea is a friend of a friend."

"The girl's not well. She was barely able to stand up earlier. Is she on drugs or something like that? I was going to call someone, doctors or police." He was trying to be cold and emotionless, but Buffy saw an interest in him. He was a nice man. Too bad for him he was working just on the Hellmouth.

Buffy shook her head "It's not necessary, she just lost someone a few days ago and she's just still shaken."

"Good. That it's not drug related, I mean. She has such an innocent face."

"She is innocent."

**  
****---OOO---  
**

"I'll phone Giles or Xander so you can get a ride to Spike's crypt." Buffy noticed the girl expression at her words, and this didn't calm her at all.

The other girl lowered her head. "I just needed some time alone… without Spike." A guilty expression showed on the face of the younger woman.

"Oh my, did Spike try to…" Buffy was trying to find the words but she simply couldn't "Did he hurt you?"

Lilea's expression changed suddenly to one of amazement and then of shock. "Oh goddess no, he's the best person I could hope to have at my side at this moment, no one ever acted with me in this way. Probably this is why Navarre left me. He knew I was not on my own, that Spike will never leave me. He's so wonderful, he worries about me, he pays attention to me and even tries to make me laugh."

"And this isn't helping."

"Yeah, it isn't, and I feel selfish and ungrateful. I mean when I left today he was baking a cake or something like that for my birthday. He's so great, and I…"

"Spike cooking? Oh God, that'll be funny…" Buffy interrupted her. Picturing Spike in a kitchen making like Betty Crocker threatened to send her into fits of laughter. She knew he loved eating and made strange experiments with blood and spices or cookies - she had seen him do that a couple of times. But cooking for someone else was a completely different matter.

"Yeah, I'd pay to see him."

Both the girls smirked, and then Buffy realized. "No, wait a moment - birthday… today?"

The younger girl shrugged.

"Happy birthday!" Buffy held her hand, but her voice didn't have a very cheerful tone. "Lil, I wish it could be a more happy one."

"It's ok, Buffy. It's not like I don't know that I had something other people usually don't have."

"A demon boyfriend?"

Lilea smiled, staying silent for a while.

"Buffy… Thanks, and promise you'll thank the principal too."

"I'll do that." The slayer thought for a moment. "What about a birthday party at my place? I promise Willow makes better cakes than Spike. Usually parties are not so great when I'm around…but at least we're two Slayers… we can handle almost everything."

"Believe me I really do appreciate what you're trying to do… but I don't feel exactly in a party mood."

"It's not going to be a big deal, just the scoobies, as Spike calls us. Nothing different from what we do every time we get together."

"Maybe it's not really…"

"Look, I know how you're feeling. When Angel died I ran away from everyone and escaped to L.A. I still don't know if I did the right thing. I needed to be alone. I ended up in hell... literally and that just made me feel more alone... Lil, Don't cut yourself off from people that love you." Buffy found it a little strange calling this near-stranger with the same nickname Spike used, but it was nice so she did it anyway.

"It's not just this... I have no one to escape from and Spike is all I have now and what I'm grateful for. I am completely afraid. And Navarre leaving is making this worse."

"Afraid of what?"

The brunette took a deep breath. "I'm losing control, or I'm losing my mind or maybe both. It's safer for people when I'm alone. But Buffy, if I'm really going crazy, promise me that you'll let the council kill me, and that you'll keep an eye on Spike for me."

"What in hell are you talking about?" The slayer didn't realize it but she said it exactly how Spike would have said it, in a tone that was sort of angry but mixed with wonder.

"About the crazy part or the council?"

"Both!"

"Lately I'm seeing stuff… that doesn't exist."

"Seeing?"

"Yeah, well, sort of. I see colors around me change suddenly. It's like everything around me changes… It's as if I can see the negative of a photo and the color goes wild. And I can hardly control my powers. I never was a very powerful witch, you know, just some wiccan spells, like protection or similar. But now… Buffy promise that you won't say anything to Spike about this! He's already too worried about me."

The older slayer bit her lower lip for a moment. She was trying to understand what Lilea had just said. "We need to talk to Giles. He always has a solution. Or at least he pretends to have one," she joked.

"You're lucky having him as watcher. He's a nice person."

"Yep, I know…What about yours? Giles never spoke about him with me."

"I never had one. I found I was a slayer only on the same the night Dawn was hurt. I guess Spike is mine, or at least he said so to Giles."

"William the Bloody as a watcher. It must be the end of the word." Buffy commented absently.

Both the girls smiled "Come on, Lil, we have to warn _**YOUR WATCHER**_ about the party."

"You're not going to take 'no' for an answer, are you?"

"No way!".

**  
****---OOO---**

Willow had already taken the cake out of the oven, and everyone was being very nice to her, or appeared to be. Lilea could not see everyone in the house. But she could see the most.

Dawn's colors changed a lot when Lilea and Buffy arrived together. And when Buffy said Spike was going to come too the little one's became darker. She definitely didn't want Spike around her sister anymore. The girl behaved in a polite way, but she wasn't really very pleasant, she just tried somehow. Lilea guessed Buffy must be really proud of her. She was like her own sister.

The Red Witch, as Spike called her, was slowly improving, her pained colors were changing slightly and becoming more brilliant.

Anya's instead were becoming more pale, as if she was worried about something, but Lilea wasn't able to understand it deeper than that. Maybe with more training with demons' colors she was going to become great at studying others' moods.

The new Slayer wasn't able to see Xander's, but she felt a little sharpness. She understood quite well that Buffy had told him to be kind to her, but he wasn't very happy about that. And from the way he was close to Dawn, she understood they made a common front against Spike's arrival.

_To be continued _


	21. Chapter 20

**_Double post! why? No idea... I feel like I could "Effort " to be generous today... _**

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**_Thanks, right from my heart to people who are reading this and also review it!!! Wow! You guys are so sweet!!! Thanks!!!! And here the chapter!!!_**

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**_Chapter 20_**

Even if the vampire didn't think it was a good idea for Lilea to go to a party at the Summers place he didn't tell her anything. He simply said he would arrive there after sunset. But since he wasn't very comfortable with visiting Buffy's house again, he thought that bringing Clem with him could be less embarrassing for him. He had never before wanted so much to be somewhere else. But the official Slayer always seemed to like his puppy-shaped friend.

He threw his cigarettes away before knocking at the door.

Time is relative, said Albert Einstein. And Spike, if he had thought of that at this moment, would agree. Those moments, until someone opened the front door, seemed endless. He was tempted to go back to his place but he didn't just for Lilea's sake.

He gulped vainly when the door began to open.

A couple of eyes stared at him. Coldly.

"Oh, it's you."

"Hey Little Bit, you're fine I see." Gosh, how difficult this was. Dawn was hating him. He could see that from the absolute lack of reaction to his appearance.

"Hey Clem. Good to see you." She waved warmly to the other demon, without caring about the vampire at all.

Then the girl moved aside, walking toward the living room, taking Clem with her, without adding any more, the door open, the vampire still outside.

"Dawn, why have you left the door open?" Buffy cried from the kitchen. She strode toward it and looked outside.

The vampire was standing there. Just on the threshold, looking at the ground, again that guilty expression on his face.

"What you doing out, Spike?" The slayer seemed even pleased to see him. Or at least not bothered by the thought of having him in her house again.

"Dawn didn't invite me in." Again a question resounded in Buffy's head, who was this man she had in front of her? Shy, in a sort of cute way, but still the same.

"Did you try entering?" Buffy asked as more casually she was able.

He simply shook his head.

"There is no barrier against you, Spike" Buffy had a strange smile on her face impossible to decipher .

"Didn't you set it, again?" his voice didn't even try hiding his wonder.

"No," she whispered.

He tilted his head to one side. "Why?"

"I forgot," she said after a long pause, and then she vanished into the dining room.

**--OO--**

Not that being there was the most fun night in Lilea's life, but it was a nice way to spend her birthday.

Spike, Clem, Xander and Dawn were playing cards. Cookies poker, as the teenager and the vampire used to do before Buffy came back from death.

With the demons busy teaching how her how to cheat the Slayers could easily speak with Giles and Willow about what was happening to Lilea's sight and lack of control. They almost whispered so that Spike couldn't hear.

"So, if this is the situation, is Lil in bigger trouble now?" Buffy asked.

"This is quite a huge problem." The British man agreed.

"Can you help me to freeze this thing until we understand what's happening?" Lilea was whispering. She breathed deeply before adding, "Days ago I almost made a cup of tea explode in Spike's face. What if I do it again? What if I hurt someone?"

"Lilea." The red haired witch spoke slowly, as if she wanted to find the right word in order to not attack the girl "When Tara, my girlfriend, died I acted crazy and I did stuff I really regret now... Very bad stuff, magic related, very black magic style… Are you sure you're not doing the same?" Willow's voice barely breathed, she was still haunted by guilt, and this was one of the biggest reasons she was still avoiding having anything to do with magic.

"Lil, we know you wouldn't harm him." Buffy held the girl's hand. Strange how easily she could touch her. Buffy had never been a very tactile person. But probably due to Lilea's inability to see her face she had to demonstrate what she was saying in this way. "But…"

A cry of victory came from the dining room. People in the kitchen fell silent for a moment in order to understand what was happening. Buffy opened her mouth again but when she tried she had to shut up as soon she heard a noise of heavy steps approaching. An almost feline walk with boots. Sensual but definitely not a silent one.

Spike had a bowl in one hand and a smile on his face, he seemed completely relaxed.

"Cookies?" he walked to Lilea's side, cupping the girl's face with his free hand, his thumb caressing her cheek. His face was just a few inches away from hers.

"Are you ok? You seem…" His voice was unusually, at least for the rest of people in the room, sweet and caring.

"Don't say pale," Lilea almost pleaded with him, with a tired smile.

"I wanted to say worried. By the way I was used to Dru... you never will be paler then she is." The girl could hear his voice smile to her.

Lilea bent her head against his hand, almost caressing it with her check, smiling. "I'm fine, just a little fatigued maybe."

And the three other persons in the room suddenly started feeling uncomfortable: the vampire and the newest slayer weren't doing anything strange, just showing each other's affection, not kissing or anything like that. But this sort of behaviour made them appear a real couple in love.

For the umpteenth times Buffy felt a deep but vague point of jealousy toward the girl, and pain somewhere inside herself: The brunette had this strong relationship with Navarrre, and even with him near her, in the wolfy-thing, let that Spike fell in love with her. How the vampire managed to be in love of her even when she was…

Wait... this is Spike. He'd always loved girls more than they loved him in return. Well ok, not Harmony, but Drusilla and also herself, so no wonder he was able to love Lilea. But, why this was this hurting? This was the real question she wasn't able to find an answer for.

Giles and Willow hadn't missed the sad, adoring look in Lilea's eyes and the worried, caring look on the vampire's face, and both noticed the strange expression on Buffy's. They couldn't name it. But they saw her staring at the couple and the quick movement as she looked away.

Xander's serious face appeared at the door "Guys… you have to look this…"

When they went back into the dining room Dawn was sitting on the floor, her mouth covered with a hand, Clem was shifting his weight uncomfortably, clearly touched by the scenes on the screen, Anya simply had her eyes open wide, motionless.

Images flashed on the TV. "The train was derailed, we still don't know the cause but some of the survivors said they saw a dragon. We could think this was caused by a sort of mass hysteria but we have some incredible images a cameraman gave us."

"Jason, we have to interrupt you, London is trying to get in touch". And again images of disaster filled the screen. There had been three accidents, every time people briefly saw for a monster. A dragon, an enormous snake and one monster people didn't even know the name of. From the description people gave to the reporter Anya and Spike agreed it could be a sneaggle demon.

"I've never heard of it," Giles admitted with some regret.

"It's an extinct superior demon." Spike realized people were staring him, so he gave an impertinent look to the watcher. "I do my homework, I'm her watcher, remember?"

"The snake make me think about the major" Xander pointed.

"Same kind, I guess," the former Ripper agreed.

"Are we going to fly to London to check it out?" Dawn excited voice fade out at the man answer.

"No, we need to do some research and I'll phone the council."

"Anya, can you ask to some demons?"

The now blond again demon lowered her head. "I'll try, but lately I've been having some problems with them. They've started arguing with me."

"Why?" She stared for some time at Xander's eyes, then she moved away. She never talked about that with him, or with anyone else either. "They aren't pleased with how I've been doing my job. I haven't killed anyone yet since I've been back."

"Well, congratulations! That's great!" Xander tried to touch her shoulder as a sign of appreciation, but she moved away.

"Not for a vengeance demon," she simply said before vanishing.

**---OOO---**

Anya appeared a couple of hours later. Everyone, except Dawn who still needed to rest, went to the Magic Box in order to consult the books, but without much result. All the volumes agreed that all the monsters became extinct thousands of years ago and the last reference they found to dragons was in the early Middle Ages.

So how could they appear and vanish so quickly? None of the books explained how they could have returned.

And Anya was right, her demon colleagues did tell her nothing. Her friend Halfrek said it was time to show what kind of demon she was, because it was the wrong moment for being so "human" but she didn't add anything else. But she seemed quite freaked out.

Willow let her head rest on the table. "I need a coffee or a bed and a pillow." A moment later a white cushion appeared under her head. The young witch stood up abruptly, knocking over the chairs with the sudden movement.

"I didn't do it, I didn't call for it."

"Will…" Xander took her hand "It's all right, we're all tired. You wanted it, you got it."

"You don't understand. It happens all the time! It became harder to control it again! It's horrible! Do you remember last time it happened? I almost destroyed the world!" The Watcher and the Slayer approached the table.

"It's as if the power is growing too fast for me to be able to control it. It's like magic streaming from you like a river after a big storm. It only lasts a moment, it's scary but over quickly. It's not bad, it's something good, and you can feel it, something you're not ready for. It's happening to me too… and I can't control it either." Lilea spoke with a calm smile on her face, her voice was calm and her gaze lost in the darkness.

"What's happening to you too?" Spike didn't catch all the Lilea's confession but it was enough.

"Nothing, just feeling tired too." The vampire moved closer to the girl.

"Lil, what are you hiding from me?"

The new Slayer rose from her chair. She simply smiled. He could see her moving closer, giving him a ghostly smile. She kissed his cheek. "I love you when you're in such an overprotective mood, Spike," she whispered. "Can we go home now?"

_To be Continued_


	22. Chapter 21

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 21**

Lilea was walking, and she could see everything. She looked around herself without any need to take each step carefully.

Lilea was walking, alone, her eyes wide open with wonder. She looked around. There was no need for her stake here. Just looking around, she could see everything, not energy or magic colors, just usual, normal, wonderful common sight.

"So this must be Sunnydale. It's a nice place. I thought it was darker." The newest slayer spoke loudly.

A blond girl smiled at her, she was the only human Lilea could see in this desert town. The stranger made a gesture, inviting to follow her.

One step.

Two steps

Three steps.

The place changed suddenly and Lilea found herself in the middle of the desert. There was a big sun that dazzled her, so she needed some time before she could see properly again.

The girl was still there, she walked ahead but slowly enough so that Lilea never lost sight of her.

"Why am I here? Who are you?" the newest slayer asked.

"I'm your guide" The girl spoke but her lips never moved.

"It's a dream, isn't it?"

"It is"

The girl walked again.

Lilea looked around again. She saw only desert but then she saw another couple of people coming towards her. One of them looked exactly like the walking girl.

The second one was staring in Lilea's direction.

**  
****--****-O---**

"Tara! What's this?" Buffy was almost running in order to keep up with Tara.

"Your future."

"I don't understand."

"You will"

Then Buffy frowned. "Why is Lilea here too?"

"This is hers, too."

"Her dream?"

Tara nodded with a smile.

Now both the couples met and the two Taras melted into each other becoming only one.

Another woman was staring at them from nearby. Buffy had no trouble recognizing her as the first slayer. But this time she was staying away.

"Tara… we miss you so much…." The slayer tried uselessly to speak with her friend, but the girl didn't even seem to hear.

The spirit girl looked toward Lilea. "You'll help her and she help you in return."

The two slayers didn't have time to register what she was saying.

"Look." The girl pointed toward the sky. It was a cloudless blue sky, but from the horizon the color became darker as if suddenly the evening was arriving.

"The night is coming. There will no more dawn after that. No more days."

"It's the end of the world?"

"The end of the day. The end of the days," Tara corrected her.

Lilea listened carefully staring the night coming. There weren't stars, but the shadows moved, and some fires were burning in several points. Color of destruction and death.

Buffy gave only a glance, then she looked at Tara again. "Why are we here?"

"The slayers are needed"

"Why just us? Why isn't Faith here too?"

"You, Faith and Lilea are different. Each of you is a different kind of slayer. A different part of the power. Faith is the violence. You are awareness, Lilea is the mystical. This time, what you already done before will not be enough. No hell, no heaven. Everyone will help with the heart, brain, arm, will, love, rage and pain. Everyone has something to give."

**-O-**

One moment later Tara wasn't there anymore, Buffy moved in order to looking for. She was standing above a rock not far from there. Her almost glowing white dress was moved by the wind and it looked like a pair of wings.

She was smiling. "What makes you special will be the hope. What makes you feel special will the salvation," she said without speaking.

**-O-**

When Lilea looked toward Buffy the girl dressed in white vanished. She reappeared on a rock nearby.

Wind was blowing through her hair. Lilea could see the night coming closer and closer behind the girl.

"Love is your gift, pain will be your price again. But let it blossom. A small price for what you'll have back. You are so soulfull, love, with all your soul"

"You can't end the night. You can prevent the night from coming."

**-O-**

The scene changed. Both Buffy and Lilea found themselves in the crypt they had dreamed about lately. There was a fight, as usual and again they had their own nightmares.

Buffy saw Spike sink his teeth into a tearful Lilea's body.

Lilea saw the demon that killed Navarre shoot his arrow again at the girl she now recognized as Buffy, and the usual blond guy quickly moved to block the mortal danger with his body. And for the first time she realized that the guy she saw in her dreams was Spike.

Both the girls sat up in their beds gasping.


	23. Chapter 22

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 22**

Spike was leaning against his crypt kitchen-space wall waiting for the microwave to warm his cup of blood. Then he saw a figure move in the dark, slowly, in an almost ghostly way. He looked more closely.

"Lil, luv, what's up?" The girl was shaking, walking toward him. The vampire moved quickly toward her and before he could try to embrace her she held him tightly. He felt her nails scratch his back, as she gripped him desperatly.

"Lil, what's wrong?"

The scared girl stayed silent, hiding her face between his neck and his shoulder, still trembling. He could feel the warmth of her tears roll down against his skin.

"Pet, speak with me… tell me what I can do. Was it another nightmare?" The girl simply nodded, and he kissed her head as if she was a kid. "My little baby… still haunted by nightmares… We have to find a way to make them stop, haven't we? They can't be so bad. And this is past, luv, we, you survived. This is what it matters."

She moved some inches back, her hand slowly moved toward his face.

"This is what it matter."

Surviving, Spike's survival. That's why she had this nightmare. She had to stop this, she was still in time. Her friend was still there in her arms. She sniffed, breathing deeply a couple of times.

"You're right." But the girl still had the same sad expression she had the night Navarre left.

"Lil, tell me what's wrong." The girl shook her head.

"I need to go to Buffy's, I have to speak with her," she simply said.

Spike stared at her for a while, waiting for some additional explanations which never came. He caressed her hair speaking sweetly. "You have to get dressed, luv, before going or I wouldn't blame any vampire for wanting to bite you, little bit."

And at that moment Lilea realized she was barefoot wearing just a sloppy T-shirt.

"Oh." The vampire saw her blush. "Well you seemed less warm then usual." She joked in order to try to hide her embarrassment.

"I'm always very hot!" He pointed out shamelessly with an insolent grin on his face.

The girl tested Spike's neck with her hand. "Definitely cold," she lied.

"Grrr!" The vampire faked a growl. "I could kill you for this," he added, pretending to be angry.

"Sure, be my guest… ah no… I have to speak with Buffy, maybe later."

Someone cleared her throat.

By instinct Lilea moved away from Spike, almost pushing him away. "Sorry, I didn't see you… I mean…" Lilea could see all the pain that Spike's attention toward her gave the other girl standing a few feet from her. "Hi Buffy."

"I would have knocked. I didn't mean to interrupt…" The slayer was quite breathless from running toward the crypt, and soaked from the rain outside.

"You didn't." The younger slayer said, smiling.

_**SILENCE**_

How deafening silence can be sometimes.

Spike stared at Buffy briefly: her jeans and T-shirt were glued to her body, he could see her bra under her T-shirt. She shifted uncomfortably, covering herself with a gesture of her hand, moving it back and forth on her arms, in an un-Buffy-like gesture. She had definitely run from her place, she had even forgotten her jacket or an umbrella.

The vampire walked downstairs without saying anything and came back a few seconds later. The noise of his steps echoed in the silence as he walked slowly toward the official slayer.  
Buffy met Spike's eyes. She gulped when he was close to her.

The tension in the crypt was almost palpable.

The vampire handed her a towel. "You're soaked, use this." His tone was forcedly expressionless, trying to seem casual.

"Thanks," she whispered. Their hands touched when she took it. It was like receiving a small electric shock. As if time had stopped. As if every emotion she felt inside herself was messed up.

Buffy moved her hand away abruptly. This feeling made her more confused, even more than she had felt earlier. Then again she looked into Spike's eyes and she saw his regret, his shame, he couldn't look her in the eyes in return

"Lil can lend you something dry," he almost murmured in a confident tone that was clearly false but that revealed all his self-consciousness.

Buffy wondered how this soulless man in front of her had changed in the past few months. He was deepening his fists into his pockets, smiling at her, in a faint way. Something sad and sweet at the same time.

God, how was it possible that he was so attractive? Ok, last winter he had had quite a power over her, but he had never made her melt in this way. She realized her heartbeat was racing furiously. And she had the frightening feeling he could hear it.

Lilea didn't understood what had happened. She saw the vampire's energy coloring with pain and Buffy's spin into a mess. This was going to be a very strange relationship.

**-****-O--**

"You can take whatever you want. I haven't got much yet. Sometimes I envy Spike: a pair of jeans, a couple of shirts and that's all." The girl opened the closet smiling.

Buffy chose the burgundy shirt.

The girl bit her lips, thinking. "This is quite light... I'll give you something of Spike's to wear over it."

"Lil, you don't have to. I think this will be enough." Buffy felt herself blushing, the thought of wearing some of Spike's clothes again made her feel butterflies in her stomach. She had worn Spike's duster in hospital, but this time felt different.

"Please, he really won't mind"

The slayer smiled faintly. This "new girl" was so sweet. Even after all she had been through in the last few days. Then she stared at her.

Lilea leant against the closet absently, as if she was thinking. "Buffy," she asked after a while, "Did you dream about the girl too?"

She nodded, then she realized. "Yeah."

"Who is she?"

"Willow's girlfriend. She died a few months ago. Have you any idea about the dream's meaning?"

Lilea shook her head. "None at all"

"She said 'Night coming, no more days'… I guess we have to pull Giles out of bed. He's quite good at figuring things out."

The new Slayer smiled, opening the doors of Spike's closet and moved aside. "I guess you have to choose alone… I'm not so good with colors." she added, smirking.

Buffy didn't feeling very comfortable snooping in Spike's closet, so she looked quite quickly. He didn't really have any warm clothes. He didn't need them. She chose one black shirt. It was quite similar to his duster, which she still had at home.

She looked at herself in the mirror.

Strange.

Perhaps she had been single for too long, or whatever, but she liked the idea of wearing his clothes. Could something of the man who tried to rape you make you feel protected?

Oh Damit! You have to stop to thinking about him!!!!

She stared herself into the mirror. A picture smiled her back.

Lilea and Spike's portrait.

"It's beautiful. The painting I mean"

"Spike's friend made it for us. He wanted a photograph, but I wanted something where I can touch our faces together, so his friend made this for us…on the other side the lines are in a sort of relief."

Lilea was silent for a little while, staring at the color's of the girl in front of her.

"Is it all right Buffy?"

The slayer sighed deeply. "Yeah, come on, we need to speak with Giles." She walked away but Lilea touched her arm.

"Buffy, how did your dream end?"

The slayer looked at the girl. She couldn't tell her about Spike. How could she? He was Lilea's only friend or love or whatever she could call the blond vampire. So Buffy thought for a moment more than usual.

"I don't remember, how about yours?"

A scared look appeared in Lilea's eyes for just a moment, then she forced herself to smile again. "I don't remember either." And for both of them it was extremely clear that the other was lying.

"Buffy… I'll do whatever it takes in order to protect you, both of you. I want you to know this."

"I believe you, I know you really mean that. But I want you to be careful… We don't know what's going to happen." The chosen two were looking at each other closely. It was obvious they were both worried and that they were both trying to not scare the other.

"I will, and we both have Spike watching over us. We are quite safe." Lilea forced herself to smile, because she knew she wasn't lying. For the few things she knew from her dream, the only one going to die was Spike.

The vampire was cozily ensconced in an armchair and he rose when the girls arrived upstairs and announced they were going to go to Giles'.

"Are you going to escort us? Two slayers?" Lilea asked him in an incredulous voice.

"A well-bred 19th century vampire such as myself, would never let two girls walk around in the middle of the night," he joked.

"Sexist."

Buffy was staring at Lilea as she laughed, almost lost in that smile, but she didn't realise that the vampire was staring at her in turn.

Why did Buffy so often have that sad smile on her face? She had got over coming back from heaven, she had taken her life back into her hands again, her studies, her job, sister, friends, and slaying. Why did she still seem so alone? She deserved someone, maybe even the wrong one like that idiot Riley. But someone. He knew he couldn't be the one. Even with the soul. Not after what he had tried to do to her.

The girls walked under the same big umbrella, the vampire just walked in the rain, without caring too much about it, simply staring at them. And for a moment, a brief one, he was tempted to refer to them as 'his' girls but he was silent.

No one seemed very talkative in the long walk toward Giles' residence room.

The watcher was sleeping very deeply when they arrived at his place, they had to knock repeatedly before he opened the door.

"We," Buffy pointed to both of them, "had a dream!"

The watcher yawned while he answered. "Yeah, well thanks for sharing, but I was dreaming too. See you tomorrow." He tried to close his door again but Buffy didn't let him.

"Giles, you don't understand, Lilea and I had the same dream."

He looked at them as if he had just realized the real meaning of this nocturnal apparition. "Come in, I need just just a few minutes to wake myself up properly."

"It's your age… you're not a young watcher anymore, Giles," Spike pointed out.

"Look who's talking, you are older then me" The British man wasn't very ready for vampiric sarcasm at that time of night.

"Well, yeah, but I'm in better shape."

**_-O-_**

The watchers and the slayers did research for a couple of hours. Lilea actually listed carefully everything that they said, while they quickly looked at almost every book in Giles' room. His bedroom was almost filled with volumes and part of the other room, a dining/living-room/kitchen space and still they found nothing about the dream, neither in prophecies or legends. Nothing.

The vampire looked out of the window. The sky was still dark but the color was starting to change slightly. Spike moved closer toward his quite-sleepy friend. "Lil, I have to go, are you coming too?"

She nodded. "Sure."

Giles was making some tea, since they had run out of coffee hours earlier. Buffy was sleeping peacefully on the table, sitting on a chair, her hand folded under her head for a pillow.

Spike moved closer to her. "Buffy? Luv, it's bed time."

She mumbled something that sounded like "Five minutes."

A smile came over the vampire's face but he tried to hide it.

"Come on Buffy, you can sleep into my bed." Giles walked toward her in the purpose of wake her up.

But before the Watcher had finished speaking she was already in Spike's arms.

"Open the door," he simply said.

Rupert watched the vampire take the sleeping girl into his bedroom. For the first time in age Buffy seemed like a little child again. In her peaceful nap all the adult-ness seemed to have vanished and she seemed someone who needed to be protected. How could her father let her go through all she had gone through in the last two years and still not even think to help her?

Did she need to be protected by Spike? Giles looked at him again. The rudeness in the vampire's voice conflicted with the careful way he was carrying her. And again this was something that kept amazing him. The almost childish and crazy crush Spike had for the slayer seemed to have vanished and been replaced by a more mature kind of love.

Could a demon like him grow up?

"They are so cute together, aren't they?" Lilea whispered, with a sweet, dreamy yet still sad voice.

Giles smiled at the new slayer, even though she couldn't see it.

"Mr Giles, do you think they will be able to be a couple?" Was there hope in her voice? She really wanted them to be a couple?

"Honestly, I don't know"

Her voice was absent when she added, "He deserves that, and she deserves that too."

"What about you?"

Now the only thing her voice showed was pain. "I had Navarre. That's enough for one life."

Giles moved closer to her, feeling again very fatherly. "Lilea, that's not fair for you…"

She abruptly turned toward his voice. "Fair? Look at me! I can't even go out and be sure that I'll come back alive. I can't share that with anyone."

"Lilea, every slayer goes through this."

"Slayers fight against the demons. I have to hide from the Initiative, from the Council…. How can I have a normal life? Normal for what a slayer's can be. I born for being an musical actress, Mr. Giles, not a slayer."

The man caressed her head and she shut her eyes tightly at his touch.

"Mr. Giles, I cant' ask Spike to baby-sit me all his life. Sooner or later I will have to do that myself, having a life." She whispered

"I'll take care of the council and they will take care of the Initiative. Spike and I talked about this. We just wanted you to be trained enough. And I think the moment is right, don't you agree?"

She nodded.

"Tell Spike you both need to stay here for a while. You're not going to leave before dawn, by the way." He paused. "How is your magic, now?"

"Better. I mean stronger, but I seem able to control it, I didn't make anything explode in the last few hours… so it's an improvement. It's more difficult when I see colors spinning."

"You should work with Willow, on both research and magic. I'll ask her."

Lilea smiled.

_To be continued_


	24. Chapter 23

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 23**

Buffy probably didn't realize that she was trying to find a better position in his arms in their brief journey. And how much this was affecting him.

Spike carefully bent over the bed, letting her slip slowly onto it. Buffy stirred as soon as his hand moved away from her body. Then he slowly moved a little away from her. He stayed motionless for a short while, then he couldn't resist: his hand trembled as he caressed her face, her lips. He breathed in deeply before covering the sleeping girl with a blanket.

The light in the room was quite feeble. She was so beautiful. The calm expression on her face was transfixing him. Oh God, if only he could stay like this for ever, just near her, guarding her sleep. If only he hadn't broken any trace of the little trust she had in him that night, maybe now she could…. No, it could never happen. Not now.

He felt completely stupid when he said to a sleeping Buffy, "Sleep well, luv." He turned and moved toward the door, deepening his fists into his pockets, in a shy posture quite untypical of him.

He heard the girl breathe deeply before she whispered, "That's the first time you've said that."

She wasn't looking toward him when the blond guy turned back.

"You were supposed to be sleepy."

"I know".

"I'll let you rest." He stepped back without taking his eyes off the girl, who was staring at the window. 

"Spike… I'm glad you're back." Then she moved her head and their eyes met. 

**SILENCE**

His eyes opened wide, his guilty face morphed into an expression of wonder, was this hope? Was he still in love with her? He had never apologized for that night. Or at least he never did with words. But every single moment they had shared after that, he acted with guilt. It was so hard to figure out what he had in his mind, and everything about his relationship with Lilea was confusing her. Exactly like his eyes were doing just now.

"I'll let you sleep now." He moved toward the door.

"Spike," she whispered. "Thanks for taking me to bed…" Then she realized the double meaning of what she just said.

Spike saw her blushing furiously even in the darkness of the room.

"I mean… I don't mean…"

His eyes were shining with amusement.

"I know what you mean." Then he stopped for a second, even now he couldn't stop himself from saying, "My pleasure, Buffy." He was amazed when she smiled.

Only one step and he would have left the room.

"Spike," she breathed again. They stared for a long moment before she found the courage to ask, "Why did you come back?" Her voice was barely audible.

He deepened his fists in his pockets again.

**THE** question he knew sooner or later she would ask and he wasn't ready for.

"The easy answer is because of Lilea. I knew you….and Giles too, would help me to keep her safe. Even though she's a friend of mine."

Buffy bit her lips. "So she's why you're back".

He suddenly strode towards her bed, stopping just one foot from it. Buffy couldn't stop herself from wincing.

"God, Buffy, you know why I'm here! There's only one person who brings me to Sunnydale, every time. Only you. You, always you. It's always about you. You know that!"

And now? He said that, he was just a couple of paces away. Speaking to her in a way she never thought could happen.

She could see he was sincere and that he was forcing himself not to get too close to her, as he had always done since he came back. Never physically close if it wasn't necessary. Nevertheless she was afraid. Afraid of something she didn't even understand.

"Listen." He bent over the bed in order to make eye-contact. "Buffy, I can't tell you I'm sorry, I can't apologize. There aren't words for that. They could never be enough."

Buffy wanted to say something, but she couldn't find enough breath to speak.

"All I can say is I'm here to help. You, Lilea…whatever. It's the only way I can stop from killing myself for what I did."

Who was the person in front of her? It couldn't be the same one who tried to rape her just a few months ago. Everything was so confusing.

She stared at him for a long time.

"I hated you, Spike." He closed his eyes and breathed deeply as if she was going to dust him. The pain from being dusted, he was sure, couldn't be worse.

"If you want I can leave Sunnydale, I understand, and I'll do it right now. I know you and the scoobies can take care of Lilea."

"She needs you, and you know it."

"God Buffy! How is it you don't understand! I can't stay here if it hurts you! I'd prefer being tortured by two thousand demons in hell than do that to you again!"

He probably didn't realize he was yelling. Looking at Buffy sitting on that big bed, her knees against her chest in a defensive, un-Buffy-like position was killing him.

"I hated you," she repeated. "But I - " She was whispering now. "I missed you."

Ok, you stupid vampire! Does this seem like the right moment for daydreaming? No, wait. She just said…

"Wh... What?!"

She gave a half-smile before answering. "I'm not going to say it again and I'm gonna deny I ever said that." Then her face become seriously again. "I' not saying I…"

"I know…" he answered before she could end her statement.

"Good," she breathed. "You know how much I love the gang and Giles. But sometimes I'm afraid of disappointing them. I know they love me too, but what if I do or say something that hurts them and they leave? I know Giles will go, as soon he's sure Willow is really under control. And it hurts because they are all I have. But you were different. I showed you the worst side of me, and yet you were there for me. I said horrible things to you that evening behind the Bronze, using what you told me to hurt you. Or later when I cursed you outside my home. Or the way I beat you up the night I thought I'd killed Katrina, because I was afraid of what I could become…"

"Buffy…"

She turned to stare at him again.

"But you were always here. For me, for Dawn, every time you were needed. Like that night in the porch, both of them." She smiled. "When mom went into hospital and you came to my place with a shotgun, and you sat there… just letting me know you were there, even though you knew I didn't exactly like you. Riley wasn't so understanding. He thought I didn't need backing up just because I wasn't able to ask him."

"He was an idiot!"

"But then you left, exactly like everyone else. And you even didn't tell me you were leaving."

"I couldn't! Buffy I couldn't even look at you again, not after…" He paused. "Not after that."

"When I stopped you, before you ran away, I saw your face, I was mad and all the rest, but the way you looked at me haunted me for so long."

"I didn't know what I was doing. I don't know how to explain… I never mean to hurt you…" He stopped for a moment. "That's not true. I wanted to hurt you billions of times, but never in that way."

"I know."

**SILENCE**

"This doesn't mean that you're forgiven or that I'm going to forget everything."

"I know, but we are talking and you haven't a clue what this means for me." He paused again. "It's late. I'll let you sleep now."

He took a couple of steps towards the door.

"Spike?" She paused. "What are you hiding from us?" Her voice was barely audible.

He turned toward her. "How do you…" He smiled sadly and whispered, "You're right. I have a secret, but shame on me, I'm not gonna share it. I'm not ready to. Now, and this is an order, SLEEP!"

Slowly he walked out of the room.

"Lil? Lilea? Watcher?" He saw a little note on the table.

"Hi, we decided we were hungry so we went out for breakfast, we'll bring you two something to eat. We wanted to ask you but you both seemed very busy. By the way it's too late for you for go out! See you later. Lil & Giles"

The watcher's handwriting clashed with Lilea's cheerful tone. The vampire looked around the room. There was an awful light. Too much light and it was increasing.

"Oh bloody hell!!!" He ran into Buffy's darker room. "Sorry." He said between the smoke.

The girl was still in the same position she had been in when he left. The only difference was the smirk she was trying to hide.

"Don't make fun of me!" The pretence of anger in his voice made her burst out laughing. He wagged his index finger at her in what was supposed to be a threatening manner.

He was amazed by her laughter.

"Do you mind if I…?" He gestured towards the room.

"It's ok." Buffy's look was killing him and he didn't know why. There was surprise in her eyes, and also a sort of curiosity, but strangely there wasn't any sign of anger toward him. She wasn't afraid of him at all. And this made Spike feel even more remorseful.

He looked around, trying to find a place where crush, there were books everywhere. There was a chair with a jacket on it, but it didn't seem a very comfortable place. So he moved some book from the wall and sat, his back against the now empty space, and inevitably he looked at her.

She was staring at him again, or maybe she had been doing all that time. He looked at a book he had just moved, opened it without paying it much attention. And he closed it a second later.

"Was it that bad?" Was she smiling? From his position he couldn't see her mouth but her tone of voice sounded as if she might be.

The vampire met Buffy's gaze, "Worse! It was poetry!"

She was silent for a moment studying his reaction. "I thought you liked it."

"I did in London when I was alive, but I stopped reading and writing it the day Dru sired me, and I haven't any intention of starting again."

The blond girl looked at him silently for a while.

"What were you like? I mean, the William-you."

Alarm suddenly transformed his face. "You don't really want to know this."

"I do… I wouldn't ask other wise." Her voice showed a little irritation. Gosh, it was already difficult asking, without him being so evasive with his answers. She needed to understand.

The guy on the floor thought the answer through carefully. "Shy, virgin, honest, deceptive, bad poet, good person."

She gave him a light smile, looking in the other direction before speaking again. "Spike? You're not going to harm Lilea, are you?"

"Of course not!" He sounded almost hurt. "I never could! Never!! God, Buffy, I know I told you the same but, Buffy, it's different, I am different!"

She stayed silent for a long time. "I believe you…"She stopped, looking at him once more. "I just don't know what you've changed into.


	25. Chapter 24

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 24**

RING RING!

The sound of the phone was a terrible alarm clock. How long had she slept? Half an hour?

"'lo?" Her sleepy voice was barely comprehensible.

"Giles?"

"It's Buffy," she mumbled.

"What are you doing at Giles' place?" Anya's question wasn't exactly the thing you wanted to hear first thing in the morning.

" 'leeping," she mumbled.

"With him?" The voice at the other end was shocked.

"Of course not!" Ok, this was enough to wake her. Just the thought made her shudder. "Anya what do you want?"

"I figured it out," she simply answered.

"Anya, I'm tired. What are you talking about?"

"I know what's up! The night's coming, It's worse than the end of world."

She looked towards the sleeping man in the room. Strangely he hadn't heard the phone ring.

"Spike, wake up!"

"Spike is there too? Are you sleeping with him? Again?"

"I'm not! Anya, just come here as soon as possible, teleport yourself."

"I can't. I'm not allowed to use it anymore. I'll be quick." Her sad tone was confusing Buffy.

"What?"

"I don't wanna talk about it." The demon girl's voice trembled badly.

"Anya?" But she had already put the phone down.

**-O-**

Buffy rose quickly. "Spike!" she called again, but he didn't answer.

He was lying on the floor, his right arm bent under his head for a pillow, the rest of his body curled into a sort of relaxed foetal position.

Buffy moved closer to him, kneeling beside him. She couldn't avoid noticing the almost childish and peaceful expression on his face. She couldn't remember ever seeing him sleep in this position.

And then she realized she had never taken the time to watch him sleeping, during their sort of relationship. They simply shared a bed, when they were able to get to it, at least. She wondered how she could have been so close to him and yet so far. He was the first one she told about heaven. He was the one who probably knew her better than anyone. And still he was probably one of the people she tried to push the furthest away

Strange she wasn't able to move away now, simply to stand up or to yell at him to wake up.

Buffy touched his arm, whispering his name. She had forgotten that his skin could be so warm, God, what was happening to her? Everything about him seemed to affect her so much. Just because now he was with someone else. Someone who loved him in the same way that she was loved back.

You must be careful what you wish for, now Spike has Lilea and no more crush on Buffy. Wasn't this what she had wanted for so long? And then why did it keep hurting so much?

Spike opened his eyes wide at the contact. Her touch was overwhelming. She was bent, staring at him just a few inches away.

Buffy wondered if he had really moved back or if she had imagined it.

"What's wrong?" he asked with a sleepy voice.

She shook her head. "Anya's found out what's happening. She's coming here."

She rose slowly. "I'd better draw the curtains in the other room, or you'll have to stay here until noon." And then she vanished through the door a little faster than normal, as if she was running away.

**  
****-****--OOO---**

"… And Halfrek said that the night is coming, the night of the world I mean. She said we are living now in the day, but it's sunset." Anya finished her explanation.

"What does that mean, the night? And what is it like?" Buffy was standing not far from the table where all of them were sitting, pacing back and forth.

"Sorry, I haven't a clue about that. She didn't tell me. And the other demons didn't speak about that. But I don't think we'll like it."

Buffy and Lilea weren't the only people in the room who noticed how sad Anya's eyes were. She was living through something or she knew something she wasn't ready to share. So when she said she didn't know any more they accepted that. She seemed as worried as they were. And no one in the room thought that she was withholding information, rather they thought that there was something wrong with her.

Buffy thought it was related to what she had said about teleporting. The demon girl's voice when she said she wasn't allowed to do that was so hurt, but Buffy hadn't realized it at that moment. She did just now, watching her almost apologizing for not knowing anything really helpful.

"It's ok, Anya, at least now we know what's happening, thanks. Not that it helps us, but… " Buffy smiled at her, but she wasn't sure her friend noticed.

Xander started to hit his head with his hand, lightly but repeatedly. "Why does this remind me of something? Ok... I know that I know this…" He repeated this a couple of times.

"That's impossible," was Spike's answer.

"No one was speaking to you." Just rage in his voice. He always spoke to the vampire with this angry tone. Even though Spike had been back for more than two months.

And Lilea hated the tone Xander used with his friend. How could they be so blind? How could they not notice how changed Spike was? How could he not to notice how sweet and caring and sensitive a person he was now? Stupid arrogant human boy.

"Come on guys, this is not the time to fight like kids!" Giles shut them up before they started fighting again. The situation between them was really starting to degenerate. "What were you saying, Xander?"

"I said I remember that part."

"Which part?"

"The night part."

"Will you be able to end a bloody statement, sooner or later?" Spike got up, moving away from the table, while Lilea followed him with her eyes. Again, strange colors in him.

The human guy made him grimace. "The first time Giles told us about the vampires, he said that the beginning was different from what people think. He said there was a sort of Chaos, with demons and monsters, which could have been the last night we had."

"That's ridiculous." Spike shrugged.

The Watcher looked at Xander with an astonished expression. "No, it's not. You… you could be right." Giles moved toward an old chest and started to look for something inside. "I thought it was false… exactly like the other one… What an idiot I am!"

Anya looked at the former librarian, and she hated that he was acting in this way again. Always when he thought he had the answer he started to speak loudly to himself, no one was able to understand until he calmed down. But this time she was too tired to wait for him to stop and share the knowledge.

"Giles? What are you talking about? We're still in the room if you hadn't noticed."

The Watcher looked at them for a moment trying to figure out if his theory could be right. Then he moved toward a wooden chest. And he hid his head inside, starting to speak while he looked for a text.

"Do you remember the word of Valios?"

"What did he say?" Lilea asked with a quiet voice.

"It didn't say anything. It was a talisman. I thought it was a fake, but it was authentic. One of my biggest mistakes. In the same sorcerer's sale I bought this other book… I know it must be here somewhere!"

"And that's today's lesson, Lil. Watchers do make mistakes, all the time." The vampire used his most 'teacher-like' tone of voice to explain.

"Spike! Shut up"

This time he bent toward Lilea's ear but his voice was loud enough to be heard by anyone. "And they haven't got any sense of humor."

"That's it!" The watcher blew the dust from an old book. 'No more days after the night' - well, not an optimistic title, certainly."

He started to read quickly, occasionally reading some passages out loud.

"The beginning will not be noticed. No one will believe the signs. An ancient race of demons will start to walk the Earth again, and they will remain unnoticed by humans. They will become stronger, grow in number and it will be too late to hope to defeat them. Almost all the human race will be erased from the world, the others, the less lucky ones will become hunted for the demons' food, suffering eternal torments. They will be eaten until even the last humans will have become a legend. Until the day comes when no one will remember the humans."

"That's horrible for you! Hey, does it say anything about other demons, like me?" Anya again lost an occasion to stay silent. But that was the point the situation was not prospecting very well for no one.

"… the process will be gradual, and it will begin during the day. The air will be different. But nothing will be visible."

"So, no hope, no future?" Lilea's voice trembled at the prospect of an apocalypse. It was her first one. She wasn't used to the idea of several of them. She looked instinctively toward Spike, but he wasn't speaking.

"It's one of the more pessimistic ideas of an apocalypse I can remember reading in ages." The watcher kept reading his volume but did so silently for a little while.

"You must be wrong!" The official slayer interrupted the scared silence. "They always made prophecies and they're so often wrong!"

"Buffy, I promise… I'll make every search I can, I'll ask the council to do the same… but…"

She looked toward her still unofficial colleague. "Giles, we wouldn't have dreamt of Tara if there is no hope. Lilea & I can stop the night coming."

The watcher started to clean his glasses for the umpteenth time. "I hope you're right."

**-****O-**

They were around the thin table of the living room, Spike leaning against the wall, the watcher pacing and Buffy staring at them.

Lilea didn't really give much attention to Mr. Giles' book. She was concentrating on trying to match the watcher's words with her dream of Tara, the idea of more than one apocalypse. Then again, she didn't usually need to look toward Giles. It was always useless. She couldn't see him. So when she moved her gaze toward a faint sparkle walking back and forth, she was filled with doubt.

"Mr. Giles, can I have the your book, just for a moment, please?"

She missed Xander and Anya's curious and doubtful looks. Xander had trouble keeping his thoughts on the girl to himself. He tried a couple of times to criticize her, but every time Buffy or Giles shut him up. Spike would probably kill him for what he was thinking about the girl. But he never hid his disgust for people who slept with the vampire. And while he loved Anya and Buffy, he felt nothing but revulsion toward this new slayer.

Lilea examined it carefully. The light wasn't produced by the pages or the cover, so she opened the book and saw that inside the glowing was more intense, and the light seemed to become more powerful when she moved her hand closer. She tested the corner of the book's spine, looking for something she couldn't touch, but she traced the circular light she could see.

"There's something here." Her voice again was uncertain. She couldn't see Giles any more so she moved her gaze toward the only people she could see.

The former librarian cut the binding carefully. Inside he found some papers, maybe a dozen, and a very small talisman, as big as a 2 pence coin. [It might be better to use an American coin as an example, as this is set in America and written in American English.

"How did you…?"

The girl blushed. "It was glowing… I mean, I saw it glow… "

"Amazing"

Lilea rose from her chair, walking around the table toward the watcher, almost transfixed by that light.

Giles took the amulet in his hand. Just for a moment, but then he felt the energy of it flowing into him. And for a moment he felt the desire to have more. More power, probably more than Willow had the previous spring. That was too much.

A noise, and the amulet fell to the table. The watcher, breathless, let it fall before he became unable to stop himself.

"I can't!" he gasped. "The power…" He seemed strangely confused. Buffy moved to help him. He was pale and he seemed have some difficulty in standing.

But Lilea didn't move. She stared at the talisman on the table. Its colors were calling her. But she didn't feel the danger that had scared Giles. The energy that the amulet was producing was not bad. She could see that. For a moment she thought she was staring at the essence of the universe. The feeble light of the talisman didn't seem so powerful, but at the moment Giles had taken it into his hands earlier its color had changed and the light became dazzling. And it still had some of that energy.

She saw its effect on Giles: for the first time she could see him. For a couple of seconds before the noise of its fall onto the table interrupted her sight.

She saw Giles' colors vanish slowly, now that he was keeping himself far from the Power.

Lilea hesitantly took the talisman into her hands. She wasn't sure it was a wise thing to do, but she felt she had to. It wasn't the hunger for power, but simply the calling of her instinct.

"Lilea, don't! It's too strong!" Giles cried out to her, trying to stop her, but she smiled, raising the other hand in order to calm him down.

She moved, as if she knew exactly how to contact the center of the energy of the amulet. She raised it to the height of her heart, then her throat, her mouth and her forehead, before putting it near her heart again.

Then new words started to flow in her mind and she didn't realize she had started to say them aloud.

"mangin nia diama nio mia noagitzu ango aumaca niac dain mio

myo niaka vala  
nio miha noa  
nio miha noa  
nio miha noa"

Anya's eyes opened wide, she could feel the stronger power in the girl. She could feel the connection with the day. Giles tried to move toward Lilea but still his equilibrium wasn't normal, so Xander had to help him so that he didn't fall.

The slayer moved quickly toward the brunette, ignoring the chair she knocked over as she did so, while Spike jumped on the table to get there faster.

"Lil!!"

Buffy tried to take the amulet away from Lilea's hand by simply attempting to grab it, but it burned her hands badly as if it was scorching hot. She cried out, taking a step back. Seeing that, Spike understood that he couldn't take it from his friend's hands, so the vampire hit her hands violently, so strongly that his chip sent an agonising bolt of pain deep inside his head, but this time the talisman fell on to the table again.

"Lil, look at me!" Spike took her shoulders firmly, shaking her without any gentleness.

"Nio miha noa," she repeated.

Lilea seemed lost in a mystical trance, completely out of the world, her face filled with an indecipherable expression that seemed happy and worried at the same time. She raised her hands, with no hurry at all, as if she was moving in slow-motion, toward Spike's face. "Nio miha noa." She moved closer, as if she wanted to kiss him. Instead she closed her eyes, starting to caress his face with hers, in almost a feline gesture.

"Nio miha noa," she breathed against his ear.

"Lil, what does this mean? Lil, luv, speak to me."

Xander looked away, disgusted at seeing the girl move against the vampire's body. The sexy way she was breathing against Spike's face, the closeness of their bodies, the way the undead was holding her with his hand firmly pressed against her back in order to keep her standing, made the Scooby feel sick.

"She isn't going to have sex with him just now, is she?" Anya voiced the question that was in everyone's minds. Lilea, even though she acted quite affectionately with Spike, never acted in this way, or at least not when the Scoobies were present. She was sexy somehow, and also somehow creepy because it was obvious she wasn't very aware of her actions. And even the vampire seemed confused by her.

Buffy couldn't take her eyes off them and Spike seemed to realize that because he looked toward her with a helpless, and almost scared look in his eyes.

Then Lilea seemed to feel herself again. She stepped back, escaping from Spike's hold, breathing deeply, then she swayed violently, just a moment before she lost her senses. The vampire took her in his arms before she could hit the floor. He walked off, carrying her, but before heading toward Giles' bedroom he stopped near Buffy.

"Are you ok?" The girl looked at him: he didn't take his eyes from her even when she looked toward the floor. He stopped closer, bending his knees a little in order to restore the eye contact.

"Buffy, are you ok?" he asked again.

Eventually she met his gaze just for a moment. This strange vampire with his unconscious lover in his arms, seemed to care so much, that it almost made her hurt. She could feel tickling tears coming and she had to fight hard to stop him from seeing it.

"Hey, back off!" Xander yelled from the other side of the room, playing the big brother.

The girl raised her eyes again, meeting Spike's blue ones. "I'm ok," she whispered in a gasping voice.

For the millionth time since he had come back to Sunnydale Spike thought that this could break his heart. Buffy was staring at him with an expression that seemed to be a mixture of pain and anger. Her eyes were glowing with the tears she was bravely holding back. And again he didn't understand why. Usually the slayer was an open book for him, but not now he was back, not anymore.

Xander was now near Buffy in order to protect her from the vampire, as if he was sure she needed him.

The human guy pointed to the unconscious girl coldly. "Are you going to stay with her in that position for the whole day?"

_To be continued_


	26. Chapter 25

**Thanks: A Huge thanks to Betta1806 for her support!!!**

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 25**

"Giles, what exactly happened in the other room?"

The Slayer stared at the Englishman's reflection in the bathroom mirror while the cold water flowed onto her hands giving her temporary relief.

"I still don't know. I'll read that book when I'm sure you're alright, and I honestly don't think you are."

"The cold water is working… a little." She forced herself to give an honest smile. She didn't really need the watcher's help, but she was grateful for it, especially now. She felt so confused, and having Giles here with her, alone for a moment, made her feel less alone.

How could she feel isolated when in the other room there were her best friends?

A voice in her mind added 'And your former lover with his new love.'

"Well, I'm glad about that, but I'm not talking about your hand." Giles. Did he understand she was hurt by Spike's new relationship? Was it so obvious or it was just…

"Oh… I'll be ok". She closed her eyes trying to concentrate herself on the pleasant feeling of the cold water on her burn.

"Does it hurt that much?" and they both knew he wasn't referring to her burns.

She almost smiled before nodding.

"Buffy… but do you know they are just..."

"Anya found something." Xander's voice interrupted him.

Even before her friend moved Buffy was out the door, almost as if she was scared to continue the disturbing topic with her watcher.

Strange.

Recently, she often wondered what advice her mother would give her about this situation. And she never figured it out. Even though they loved each other so much, she never asked her about "problems of the heart". Joyce was almost in the dark for most of her relationship with Angel. And even with Riley she never asked her more than Buffy was ready to say. But Joyce was always ready to give Spike the wiser help. And when Buffy wondered why, she easily had her answer. He was the one who talked, the one who asked, the one ready to listen to the answers.

Joyce once also told Buffy she liked Spike, and she thought that he needed a maternal figure.

"So what did you find?" Buffy tried to use a normal tone of voice. Trying to be strong. Trying to concentrate on the incoming apocalypse.

"I think we found our link to the day," Anya cryptically said, pointing at the papers that had been hidden in the book.

"What?"

"That's what the amulet does." Xander agreed.

"So that's what happened earlier? She was linking herself to the day?"

Giles read them carefully. "Really the opposite," he explained, cleaning his glasses again. "The day was linking itself with her. But that's the theory."

"In these pages are written sort of instructions to send away the night." Anya handed them to Buffy.

"It can't be that easy."

"Well, it's not. There's a prophecy."

"I still wonder why people don't say things clearly when they know them! Can they add instructions like with a microwave?"

Giles, wearing his glasses again, started to read. "And when the time of the night arrives good and bad forces will be joined, because good and bad will not exist anymore. Death will not be the difference. The One will become three, and an ancient but new soul will be a key, mothers who are not, dead and undead will work together, and love and revenge will work together for the same purpose, Heaven and Hell will stop fighting in order to stop time and a new night will not come."

"And this means?"

"This means that if we're lucky enough to understand what it says maybe we can save the world, or else it will be only night forever," Xander summarized.

"Exactly, I think…" Giles rose from his chair, moving toward the windows. Outside the sun was still high, but they still had the curtain carefully closed.

"So what's the trick to deciphering this thing?" Buffy asked, as if she really was hoping someone had the right idea.

Xander, Anya and Giles looked at her speechless.

Lilea moved at the contact. "Hey" A familiar voice guided her back to consciousness.

"It's cold. What is it?" she mumbled, stretching a little.

"Wet towel." Spike still held it in his hand, not knowing if she still might need it.

"What happened?" she whispered, shaking her head.

"Don't you remember?" The vampire's hand caressed her face and hair a couple of times. "You scared me…"

She smiled at his touch. "I… think so. The talisman was speaking to me."

Ok, this was strange. "And …?"

"Nio miha noa"

"And you know what that means?" He was holding her hand.

She nodded. "Protect the key."

"Dawn!" Lilea didn't miss the panicked tone in his voice. Last time he had to protect the key he failed and Buffy died.

"It said I have to protect the key, that's why I'm here, that's what I was created for. And no, Dawn isn't the key I'm supposed to protect." Then she whispered, "Spike, I feel a little different now."

"How different?"

She gave him a 1000 watt smile. "I can't explain it… but in a good way. And stronger. And I feel I can do it."

_Knock Knock_

"Can I come in?" Buffy was clearly not very comfortable knocking at the door. As if she was sure she was disturbing them.

Lilea nodded with decision. "Sure Buffy. Come in."

"Do you feel better?"

Lilea, sitting on the bed, smiled at her. "I sure do, thanks for asking."

There was a moment of embarrassed silence.

A LONG ONE.

"I'll go then…"

"How are your hands?" The Slayer and the vampire spoke at the same time.

She breathed deeply before answering. "They burn" - and she felt mortally silly when she moved her hands as if she wanted to show him the damage.

Spike moved toward Buffy, and took her hands into his bigger ones. His thumb caressed the back of her right hand. His eyes stared at her face.

What surprised Buffy most was that Spike didn't hold her. He was keeping his hand open so she could move them away if she wanted.

The mind sometimes works in a strange way, because this made her remember he did a similar thing, when she came back from the grave, caring about fixing her hands that time, too.

And this time again she simply stayed there, lost in his gaze.

"Let her fix them." Could she hear love in his voice? Here, just a few inches from Lilea.

"What?" Buffy seemed confused.

"Lil." He explained to the girl on the bed. "The talisman burned her hands. Can you fix them? Do you feel strong enough?"

"Spike, she just fainted, I don't think…" Buffy tried to move away, but even with his open hand he could hold her wrist.

"No, It's ok… I'm ok. I would be glad to help you, Buffy, if you allow me…"

"I…"

Again he was staring at the slayer. His blue eyes were looking into her soul, so deeply that she thought that it could hurt. Then after a moment he promised, "She can do it." He paused for a moment then, almost without realizing it, he added, "Trust me."

Buffy by instinct answered without thinking about it. "I do… I mean…" Did she really just say that she trusted that soulless vampire? How could she have done that? She knew how much Spike was affecting her lately… well since he came back. And how hard she had tried to refuse to feel this connection with him and… and she had failed. Since he came back, since he took her in his arms that night in hospital. She lowered her head and sighed. And for a moment before speaking Buffy felt as if she was just falling into some trap. "What I've to do?"

Lilea smiled for the small Freudian slip about Buffy's trusting in Spike and she stared the Slayer colors become crazy for the emotions after that. She could see how confuse Buffy was. Definitely they will have to speak a lot, but not now. She, in this moment, needed that Buffy was ready to feel energy. Of course Lilea could use her own connection with earth, that she felt even stronger after she touched the talisman, but this wasn't what Buffy needed. What she really needed was the energy of her relationship with Spike, and this would help her not just for cure her hand. Buffy pain was inside, as if it was scare of feeling everything. Spike said more and more time that Buffy before Lilea, was probably the person that know him better, even better than Drusilla. Buffy's fear of feeling, of course was worse after what Spike did her last Spring. But he was changed and still the slayer seemed not notice that. Then Lilea realized it wasn't true. Buffy knows. Buffy felt it, even if she tried to not.

So, in this moment Lilea took a decision. It wasn't her that was going to heal only Buffy, but Spike too. Both of them needed that. A big smile appeared on Lilea's face. "Just sit down and relax."

The reluctant slayer sat on the bed, not too far, but trying to be not to close to the other girl.

Spike released her when she moved and took a couple of steps. "I let you girls alone"

"No way!" Lilea stopped him with a firm voice. "You're going to sit down near Buffy and keep do her whatever you were doing her a moment ago. We need your help."

Spike grumble a couple of time, part of him wanted run away faster, and the other half of himself was screaming inside of him when he felt Buffy's hand trembled a little when he took them again.

This time the gesture wasn't so spontaneous like few minutes ago and the improbable couple felt more embarrassed but Lilea smiled again because she could see their colors was embracing each other as if Spike's were protecting Buffy's.

Lilea stretched reaching slayer's hands but she had a lot of difficulties to brush both Spike's the position wouldn't be really comfortable for any of them even of they were contortionists. She had to take a difficult decision. And probably her friend -- or both of them - would be hate her for that.

"Spike, I need you sit on this bed as if you are going to take my hands and keep your leg open, because Buffy is going to sit between them."

"What?" Spike's voice probably would be less scandalized if Lilea would ask him to get naked and dance a Snoopy dance.

"Do it!" She said firmly. "So Buffy can sit between us."

"What in hell are you thinking about? You can't ask this! I asked you to cure her hands not… She need her space, and her space isn't close to mine."

Lilea didn't care him at all, she knew the other girl was tempted to run away just now. So she brushed her hand and looking toward her friend said with her more honest voice.

"Buffy it wont be long, and I know you don't understand this and I'll explain you later, if you want. If you want we can invert the positions and I can sit between Spike and you. You have just to tell me. But believe me, this is the better choice. It's a energy matter. And if or whatever you want me stop you have just to tell me."

For a moment the wiccan slayer thought she asked both doing something her friends weren't ready for. But she was sure they need that to heal each other's pain.

"It's ok.. I can do that. Just do it fast, ok?" Buffy voice was nothing more than a breath.

"Now Spike take her hands again" He did, the blind girl set her breath at the same rhythm of Buffy's and took their hand too.

Energy started to flow.

Buffy looked the girls sit in front of her: She was smiling sweetly and every moment her smile seemed become wider and her eyes more melancholic. Buffy didn't know how long she stared her, but then she started to feel a pleasant tactile sensation, of warmth flowing from her hand, and then to all her body, but the energy didn't flow just from the girl sit few inches far away. This magical wave of heat was arriving also, and it was the warmer part, from Spike. It was a so unique feeling. Not a sexual thing, but a communion of souls. Well in Spike's case - she thought - was more appropriate using the 'communion of spirits' expression.

She then she could feel his breath on her neck.

God, vampires never do that and he did it all the time. She always wondered why. But his warm breath almost made her loose her control. She slowly turned her head toward him.

His eyes were closed, the expression on his face seemed engaged or kidnapped by his thoughts.

She looked at him for some seconds, until him suddenly open his eyes as if he realized she was staring.

After a long while he bet his head on his side and he smiled her a ghost smirk.

"Don't think, Buffy. Just feel that" Lilea's sweet voice whispered her.

And Buffy tried again to make a blank into her mind, trying to not feel how painful was be there so close to Spike and still so far, being in the middle between Spike and his new girlfriend, and how it was hurting her, and feeling her own hand healing, without any physical pain and know that Lilea was responsible for that and than without know why, or how, she felt tears come close and she even if she tried hard to stop it a sob escaped.

"Buf? It's all ok?" But she didn't answer.

She could hear Spike breath her name again, against her ear. "I'm sorry... I…don't" she whispered with a trembling voice.

"It's ok, sweetie, it's the energy, let it flow… let the pain go away…." Lilea caressed her wrist, reassuring her, but holding them, in order to avoid her to run. If Buffy would be escaped now, Lilea couldn't help her anymore. "Nothing is wrong here. Not anymore. You have just to feel it."

And almost in the same moment Buffy started to sob without control, she tried to use her hand to cover her face but Lilea didn't let her wrist. She was holding them with a touch gentle but firm, as a mother when help her kid to stand-up after being fall. But this wasn't helping her to feel less ashamed for her tear. Cry in this way, just in front an almost stranger and Spike. She tried to wipe her tears against her own shoulder.

She felt Spike move, tending his body toward her, his right hand moved from her wrist to her left shoulder, then she moved slowly back, letting herself lean against his chest while she could feel his face against her hair.

And she realized how badly she wanted trust him again.

Then Lilea very carefully caressed the Slayer's palms. Both of them were perfectly healed now. She moved slowly her had away, let her fingers move lightly on Buffy's until she broke the contact, releasing them.

In the same moment Buffy's hands, as if was a reflex, moved to cover Spike's, giving him a silent permission of held her, and he did, a little tightly but with a uncommon sweetness.

They stayed motionless until Buffy's sobs calmed down then Spike gently wiped her tears.

"It's end pet… You're ok now." And his other hand started to caress her back.

Buffy's found herself smiling him, but part of her felt cold inside when he released his embrace.

When Lilea felt that everything was calm again, moved toward Buffy. She looked for the other girl hands, hoping of meet her eyes.

"Are you ok? I'm sorry I didn't mean to made you cry… I couldn't know how this will worked. But I didn't hurt you, did I?" Lilea was now again pale and seemed tired, but happy.

"How did you… my hands…" Buffy looked at them and then to the girl.

"Just like new ones." The blind girl smiled her finding in a way to lay down without crushing. "I can't do it now… but _**WE**_ need to speak. I have to explain." Lilea yawned "not now. I need a nap. 'm so tired." And she fell asleep, as if she fainted again.

Buffy caressed Lilea's face and she bent to kiss her head, as she would done with a sleeping Dawn. Then she looked toward Spike, who was still sitting on the bed, with a lost look in his eyes, motionless, even after the slayer stood up. He seemed confused, then he realized Buffy was staring at him, so he let himself meet her eyes.

They looked at each other for a long moment, then Buffy smiled. "Thanks."

He hesitated before answering "For what?"

She felt silly when she whispered, "My hands."

He shrugged, almost embarrassed "I didn't do anything."

"You did. You asked her... and gave your energy... I felt it. And…" now her voice was just an embarrassed whisper "and you let me cry..."

"If I'm not the one you blame for your weeping… you can do that any time. I had a lot of practice with Lilea, lately. I should have a business: 'Shoulder available for crying on, reasonable rates."

Buffy shook her head. This guy was able to ruin every time she tried to make some sort of connection. He was avoiding it and had been doing ever since he came back. He was stopping her moving closer to him, in an emotional way, and yet he was always present when she needed him, for a fight-buddy or for real emotional support, like that night in the hospital. He was there for her, even if his life now was just dedicated to Lilea's needs. He did that first with Drusilla, then with her, now with his new girlfriend. He claimed eternal love less than six months ago, and now he had a new interest.

Buffy found herself staring at Lilea again. "She's nice, she reminds me a lot of Tara, even thought they are quite different. I guess that's why Will doesn't get on so well with her."

Was she blabbling? Was she just trying unconsciously to delay her leaving the room? She was the first one who couldn't answer to her own question. How could expect other people to understand her?

Spike smiled again to her, then he looked over to his sleeping friend. "Well, she has more problems fitting in with humans than with demons lately…and that isn't usual for a slayer."

Buffy found herself smiling at him again, before realizing she was doing it. "She's a strange one… in a good way."

"You are strange too. Not sure about the good way" Buffy gave him a bad look but then she realized from his eyes that he was joking.

"And you're crazy… you're playing with fire with me," she warned.

He started to say, "I used to love your fire..." but appeared to change his mind as he shrugged and lapsed into silence. Then changing his voice, trying to sound casual, he added "You know, I think I'm just tired. Do you think they" he pointed the other room "will mind if I sleep a little?" Then he stopped again. "As if I care. Lilea has too much good influence on me. She's making me polite again! I needed one hundred plus years to forget about that." He moved near the dreaming girl's ear, caressing her hair. "Maybe I should kill you," he whispered.

Even Spike wondered how she could be able to hear him, but the dormant slayer answered somehow. "'m sleepin' now… maybe later."

"You keep saying that to her - why?" Buffy stepped toward the bed again.

"Long story." Spike shrugged.

"I have time," she answered nonchalantly.

"It's silly," he retorted.

"Now I'm curious." Her voice started to sound a little exasperated.

"No you aren't."

Buffy crossed her arms, a resolute look on her face that said she wasn't going to leave unless he explained first, mixed with a big amount of sceptical disapproval. "I'm even more curious now."

Darn - even Dawn had the same posture when she wanted something from him, when they had still been friends.

"You're impossible!" he growled, but he answered anyway. "When I met Lilea, the very first time, she had no will to survive, she still didn't realize that Navarre was with her in his wolf-like form. So I said to her, 'If you don't find any good reason to stop me killing you I'll do it', she didn't have, so I should have killed her, but look at her, how could I do that? She was hurt, bleeding and I wasn't even hungry, she was already at risk of death from all her injuries. So I told her she wasn't dressed properly. You know, like in the movies, you die and you find yourself as a ghost with the same bloody clothes for the rest of eternity…It wasn't even a good joke. Actually, it was really a pretty lame one. But she started to laugh. Crying and laughing at the same time. Then she hugged me. And when her sobs calmed down she said that she wanted to live."

"It was nice of you." Buffy smiled at him. "Helping to save her life, I mean."

"Yeah, and with her strange sight cheating at kitten poker is a joke!" An amused look shone in his eyes.

"You're insufferable!" She hit him, a little more violently than she should have done if he'd been a normal man, but really very weakly for a vampire. And for a moment Spike felt as if she was looking at him as a real man, a human being.

"Buffy, there is something I want you to know…something about me. After that night when I …" Again he breathed in, like he did earlier when she was crying - and again she wondered why he did that when he didn't need to. "…left…"

Buffy moved a step closer. She moved her trembling hand toward his mouth and covered it. She couldn't listen to him.

"Spike, I don't wanna talk about that, not anymore, I don't want even to think about that. You have no idea how much that hurt me. You were the one I trusted more than anyone. Even though I acted in a bitchy way, even though I was rude to you, I knew I could trust you. Maybe never love you, but I really did trust you. Always. Even when I tried to hate you. But yours was the worse betrayal in all my life. And believe me I had a lot of them. You made Angel's departure seem like a glass of water. You hurt me. I don't want it to happen again. I won't let it happen again." Her voice was trembling with emotion and rage.

Buffy couldn't believe she was the one who was speaking. She was actually facing her own pain, even though this was giving her mixed feelings. Did this mean she was really growing up?

Spike lowered his head, unable to look at her. He seemed deeply affected by her speech. "I know it's worth nothing to you, especially now, but you can do that - trust me - forever."

How could he dare say that? How, after all he had done to her. "These are words. Only words, Spike. You said you never meant to hurt me, and you lied - you tried to rape me less than a week later." And she walked out of the room. Hurt again, this time even deeper than minutes ago.

Spike raised his eyes, staring at Buffy leaving the room. Maybe Lilea had been right, he needed to tell "his Slayer" everything. And she would understand, and believe him, as she had done with Angel. He killed Giles' girlfriend, tortured Giles, tried to kill her and Buffy had forgiven him… could she…

'No. She can't. She loved Angel. She never loved me. She never will.'

The vampire lay down near Lilea, hugging her, in a sort of desperate way, hiding his face against her neck while his soul was screaming to him. How could he deal with all he had done without going crazy? How long would he be able to resist?

"Help me, Lil, help me," he muttered.

Still without waking up, the slumbering girl snuggled against the vampire, as she had become used to doing since they started to share the bed months ago, softening each other's pain. But this time was different, even more desperately than other times. Because Spike felt as if he had just lost Buffy again.


	27. Chapter 26

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 26**

Things didn't change between the Scoobies, Spike and Lilea in the next few days. Giles was always ready to help them, and Buffy did the same for the greater good. But all the others seemed to look at them with suspicion. Willow seemed to be quite angry with Lilea for some mysterious reasons, Xander kept looking at them with his usual unhidden disgust, Dawn seemed to be uncertain about who she hated more, the vampire or the new slayer, so she chose both. Not an easy situation at all.

But Lilea kept smiling at her "special watcher" and he acted as if she was the only good reason he was alive, or at least not dead.

Usually they all met at the Magic Box, neutral territory, since Anya seemed to be the only one able to stand Lilea, probably because she was a demon and was the only Scooby who really didn't care about the "demon-ess" or demon-less nature of Lilea's love interest.

But sometimes, usually the Sunday, they met at Giles' or Buffy's place. Tonight they had planned a dinner in the garden, in order to make a whole night of research more comfortable. The ancient monsters were increasing their appearances in the whole known world. Some scientists had said they had also seen some dragons flying near the moon, but no-one had confirmed that officially.

And further more, in order to create some more suspicion, the new Slayer had never really told anyone what she had discovered during her "connection" with the Day. But she knew something and she said she was trying to figure it out. When other people, and Spike was one of them, asked, she simply said that she was quite confused, and she didn't know how to explain, and then avoided the topic again. So people started to worry, she seemed quite sure they will find a way, but she sort of refused to help, giving no information.

"You pigheaded girl, why don't you want to tell me what you know?" Spike's voice was quite altered, and when his knock on the door had been quite violent.

"Spike, I can't talk about that with the others because it's about our secret," she whispered with an exasperated tone.

"You're lying to me, too. I don't like that! I WANT to know all you know." His anger and frustration were growing. Lilea could see his color change in a frightening way.

"Spike…"

He violently grab her shoulder. "I'm worried Lil, you're strange and different since the night you dreamt about Tara. Tell me what's wrong."

"Spike… you're hurting me"

"I know… I'm hurting my-self too!" he was fighting with his chip, making an effort to not let the pain increase too much.

"Stop than! We can't fight here! You know that! We can't even speak here."

"I don't want stop this again!" He was yelling now, crying his words on Lilea's face, she vainly stepped back. "You can't fool me."

'_Oh, Spike, how can I, say you that you're gonna die if I don't stop the Gulthias Demon, and that I'm scared that you could have to give your life away in order to stop the night coming.'_

"I'm trying to help... and you're scaring me!" Lilea's eyes filled with tears and her voice trembled. "I don't want to worry you… I want… I want you safe, and everyone safe… I want we can stop this coming… I want to rest… from pain."

His voice again softener "Why don't share with me, everything is less painful if you can share it"

"I can't speak with you, Spike." She whispered again.

Spike's color changed again suddenly, but Lilea didn't need to look them in order to know she just hurt him deeply. He stayed silently while his had moved away from her shoulder.

'_She doesn't trust me, exactly like Buffy. The most important persons in my life don't trust me. Soul or not soul. Lil knows and still she doesn't trust me enough to tell me what is bothering her.'_

"Spike… Spike I didn't mean, I know I can tell you everything…"

"I know." His voice was emotionless but not able to hide the betrayal feeling he felt. For as much hard he tried never was enough.

"Spike, you know I'll give my life for you… I trust with you with all myself, it's not you the problem. It's me… I'm trying to figure out how stop the night… I…"

Dawn's expression-less face opened the door. "Your yelling are disturbing all the neighborhood. Can you do that at your crypt? We live here."

"Sorry… we didn't realize we're speaking loudly" Lilea apologized.

"Well, you did." She said coldly.

Lilea tried to find Spike's arm but he avoided her contact.

"Have you any idea how much I hate have you at my place, Spike?" The younger Summers didn't hide the despise she still felt for him.

"I guess I know." He answered without looking at her.

"Did you already try to rape the new girl?" She asked with the same tone.

"DAWN!" Buffy scandalized voice interrupt her.

"What? Do you guess that if he wouldn't have the chip into his head he wouldn't try to kill everybody in this house and in the town?" The youngest Summers didn't even try to hide her rage.

"Stop that! He's here to help."

"Yeah sure, like Superman. Too bad he forgot his red cape." And the girl walked in the kitchen.

Spike was motionless. His eyes simply a little wide, all the rest of his body seemed frozen.

"I'm sorry for Dawn… she didn't mean." Buffy apologized with embarrass.

Spike slowly moved his gaze on her. "She meant that. And she was right. And I should go. I will back later in order to escort Lil at home."

"NO! Stay." Buffy stopped him. then she moved her gaze for a moment. "I… we need your help." She made a uncertain smile, biting her lip. "Apocalypse, you know… Come inside, meal will be ready in half of an hour. And I don't guess Lilea would feel very comfortable if you leave… "

Slayer and vampire stared for a long, endless moment each other.

Lilea had to move her face from them. Again exactly like in her first night in Sunnydale, Buffy's and Spike's souls recognized, supported, completed each other.

Stupid blind people. How could they not realized their own feeling.

"I'm not welcomed."

Buffy smiled in a funny way, coming inside before answering. She stopped on the threshold, then she looked toward Spike again, just turning her head. "You never were, but you were here all the times."

The vampire made an annoyed gaze, but his shoulder relaxing he brushed Lilea's hand and the girl took it firmly, "I'm freezing here, Spike, so can we go inside? I'll tell you how much of a jerk you are later"

The ambient inside wasn't really warm for the two friends, but at least Lilea could sit in a comfy couch and not freezing for the cold night. Definitely they weren't going to eat in the garden.

"It's turning really cold outside, it's going to be a long winter." Giles tried to interrupt the silence that was occurred since Lilea and Spike enter in the house. Everyone heard Dawn comment and honestly, probably but the watcher and Buffy, all the scoobies agreed with her.

"Yeah, very cold." The youngest slayer whispered.

Giles moved closer to her. "Lilea, is it all right?"

She moved her gaze in his direction. "Mr. Giles, why people are so blind? How happen that they can't see anything even if it's right under their nose? Even with it's everything so clear?" She breathed deeply. "Look the scoobies toward Spike, how can't they realize how much he changed? And Buffy and Spike moving around each other almost tiptoes. They… care so much for each other. And still they act as if they wouldn't care at all. I can see Buffy's colors become wonderfully crazy every time he enter in a room. And she hate me every times he brush me or hug me or whisper me something… and it's ok for me, I probably would feel in the same way if Navarre acted in this way with some else girl. But they don't admit that and this is making me crazy. I want to lock them in a room and let them inside until they don't start to speak honestly. And then I hate to stay here, in a place I'm no welcomed doing something I know we still can't figured it out, knowing that if I don't figure it out soon Spike could be in a very danger and I don't want to loose my family again. He's the only family I have now. And I know that if I could say him what he's risking maybe I could help, but I know him, he would try to protect me and Buffy and he would let himself be killed… and I wanted to help about the apocalypse but I made a promise, and I really don't want to break it so I have to try to figured it out, without disappoint anyone."

She was fighting with her tears, she was grateful that just Giles was in the room, so she could speak with him. Spike was stealing some food from the kitchen where all they scoobies were. The watcher sat next to her taking her hands. "You think too much, too much about other people. Lilea you're feeling all the slayer's responsibilities on your shoulder all sudden, and you were not ready for that. I guess any slayer is ready for this. Buffy was sixteen when I saw her panic out about this. She found there was a prophecy about her death."

"But she survived somehow she is alive."

"No she died, twice actually, that why we have three slayer."

"What does this suppose to mean?"

"That it doesn't matter how difficult and hopeless this can seem. There is always an hope for slayers, and for people."

Lilea smiled hugged Giles tight. "You're so wise… Too bad I'm too younger for courting you." She joked.

Giles was obviously embarrassed, and Lilea could felt that even without be able to use her Gaze.

"I know I'm strange, and I have a unusual way to approach and I'm not able to have a relationship with human people. But you let me feel normal, even if I'm not."

"You're very normal, just amazing and wonderful gifted."

"I want to make you a present. I own you. A piece of something magic" She concentrated very hard whispering words Giles wasn't able to understand. She put an hand on his heart level the other on his head, trying to connect with him.

"What in hell are you doing to Giles, pet?" Spike with a full of chips mouth, but Lilea simply smiled toward him, trying harder keeping her concentration.

Willow came not much later. "I felt a big energy…" she stopped, staring Lilea and Giles. "What is she doing?" Spike simply shrugged.

Then slowly all of the scoobies arrived, Buffy was last one, wondering why everyone was so late in coming back in the kitchen.

Then Lilea's hand moved from Giles' head, the girl extended that a little in front of her. "She says… she says she already gave you her heart, she says you know that. She says you have to move on, to live you life for her too. She says she is protecting you, she will wait you, but before that you have a life to live. She don't want you alone, she want you happy. Don't be sad for her." Lilea was starting to panting: this was harder than she initially though. "Jenny says we didn't loose each other, I'm always with you. I always will be. But you're a stubborn one, you always need proves, so I'm giving that to you. A prove to let you know you still have my heart. Red roses aren't the same after that night, but my heart is."

Something started to glow and materializing into Lilea's hand something similar to a crystal stone, it was shining. It was hearted shaped, with a little deep grain of a darker color. Lilea gave it to Giles, whose hand trembled when he took it.

"She says when you'll be happy the scar will heal from her heart to." Lilea's voice was now barely audible. Then she paused for a long second, her face still covered with this a expression of peace.

"I will always love you, Rupert." But this time wasn't Lilea's voice the one who spoke, all of them recognized it as the voice of Jenny Calendar.

Then Lilea crushed violently against the back of the couch, even if she felt incredible tired, she smiled to the watcher. "Day's present… It improved my powers… much."

Giles probably didn't realize what she just said. He was staring the heart-shaped crystal. He could feel Jenny's warm, Jenny's Love, Jenny's essence. Jenny.

"What you did it's so wrong! You're playing with magic! It's dangerous" Willow screamed to her in a bad way.

"I don't play with magic. I never did." Her voice was just a whisper but still very determinate and sure. "You don't even have a clue about what really magic is. Magic isn't power. Not just power. Magic is love and this is the only magic I do. Tara tried to teach you but you didn't listen her." With a big effort Lilea raised from the couch and started to walk toward the door. "I need fresh air."

"You don't know nothing about Tara, just because you dreamed about her you guess you know her. You have no right to speak about her."

"And you don't know me. And just because you suffered you have not right to judge. You're not the only one who suffered in this room, so please stop acting like the only inconsolable widow on the earth. Everyone lost someone. Mourning is not Love."

Lilea walked outside, leaned heavily against her stick, the cold fall in the room.

No one for long moments was able to move.

Giles tried to recover from all his emotions. He didn't talk. Still holding the little heart.

Spike looked coldly toward Willow. Then he looked the watcher and Buffy. "I check if she is fine."

Xander took Willow into his arms, when Willow break up. "She has not right to speak to you in this way. We're with you in this."

This time Anya was the one who said something in the new slayer defense. "Lilea didn't made anything wrong. She made Giles speak with his dead girlfriend. It was a nice thought. Why you all keep to be rude with her? What wrong with you? She is always try to be kind with everyone! Dawn also healed faster because she gave me the rocks for helping without telling anyone. She saved you and Buffy. She never gave any venom comment even when it was clear she was uncomfortable. She is here trying to do her best to stop this new apocalypse and this is the only thing you are able to tell her? When you started to have a stone-made heart? She didn't even grieved on Navarre quitting because there was no time for her. She didn't tried to kill every people, she didn't destroyed the magic box. She didn't hurt anyone. So I guess you have no right to tell her she is wrong, Will."

Giles gulped a little before answer to Anya "I guess I'm not the most objective person here but I guess Anya is right here. Lilea was just trying to help." He looked toward Anya "Very human speech, you're humanity is improving since you become a demon again."

"Yeah, that's very annoying."

Buffy walked toward the window, trying to see them outside, but she wasn't able.

"Buffy you're silent, what are you thinking?"

"That we're all blaming, Lilea for some reasons, and she keep to help as if we'd be her best friends. That's not fair."

_To be Continued_


	28. Chapter 27

**Thanks so much to Becca1806!!!! For rewiewing and liking this fic!!!! **

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 27**

"Lil, are you ok? If you're not we can just leave, even the town if you want…"

The youngest slayer was leaned against the wood in the corner of the porch. "You're not leaving Buffy in any way! At least until I have a single breath in my body. You and her deserve to be together and you will." She whispered tiredly.

"You speak as if it is an easy call"

"Gosh, are you idiot?" Lilea breath deeply. "I'm sorry I'm just so exhausted… that charm wasn't easy at all, I don't guess I was ready for that yet… But Giles needed that. I could feel his pain, even if I didn't saw his color I knew he was hurt. And he told me to live my life days ago... as Jenny said to him earlier and I found that so unfair... for him. You guess I helped him a little?"

"You did something good. But... was it real? Was the really chick or you just made some trick."

"The real one. That's why I'm so tired…" She sounded almost outraged. "I don't cheat with people feeling! You should know that."

The vampire smiled at her. "Sit down a little then… Buffy will call us when meal is ready, I'm bloody sure."

"Go outside wasn't my best idea… I'm freezing now." She shivered.

"Here" he covered her shoulder with his duster. She smiled him gratefully before sit next to him.

A step in the dark and a familiar voice.

"Hostile 17 and hostile 521, together… I wonder why I have no wonder in this."

"Finn. I can't say it's a pleasure to meet you again." Then he realized something: 'hostile 521' Riley know Lilea had a number, that Lilea was escaped… and he was armed.

Lilea rose slowly from the stair of the porch. She recognized the voice, and then Spike just called him.

"Agent Finn…" she mumbled.

"You remember of me, I almost lost my job for your fault" He commented coldly.

"You killed my baby… I guess it's not a big price for that" She retorted.

"It was a monster. It was a demon, so I really don't care at all." He answered with a martial tone.

"Maybe he was a demon… but the monster wasn't him."

"So, now I'm going to bring you back and take you to that analyses you little monster didn't helped for. They aren't the answers I went here for, but maybe it can be useful too."

"You're not going to bring her anywhere. I would kill you, but you won't touch her anymore"

"I don't need your permission. Spike."

"I will defend myself this time. I know what animal you and your initiative are. I have nothing to loose now." Spike was trying to move Lilea behind himself. She have not a clue how far Riley was, he was walking on the grass so no noise.

Then the soldier suddenly start to laugh soundly. "You're blind now! That's very funny… and what a nice surprise. How do you think to stop me." He took her right arm. Spike by instinct moved toward the soldier with violence. The next moment he was screaming pain, unable to be stand.

"The chip still didn't kill you, yet? Well then I'll do it just now so we can serve time."

"NO!!!!!" Lilea cried . She heard something, a gun or gunshot noise. Why shot a vampire with a conventional weapon? Then she felt the can of the gun against her chest.

"I have no idea what kind of demon you're, but this will be the last time you made me troubles. And fire works with all the demons."

Spike hit Riley even if the pain was almost killing him, even Glory torture were a very light caress in the confront.

The soldier pointed again and all Lilea heard was a noise of flames and the smell of some combustible.

The vampire color changed again, probably he was hurt. "SPIKE!!!!!" Lilea screamed. The duster slipped from her shoulder unnoticed.

The room were still silent inside. Buffy just brought a glass of scotch.

"Giles? I guess you need it." The watcher smiled with a grateful expression.

"Surely it was quite …" he paused on order to find the right word "Intense."

Buffy looked again out the window. "I should say them to go inside again." The older man nodded.

Then a cry from outside made everyone turn toward the window.

"SPIKE!!!!!" Lilea's voice in panic, and then a moment later, the window glass and the house started to tremble violently as if it was a earthquake.

"Everybody OUT!!!!" Buffy shouted.

Lilea heard Spike screaming again, and move himself away, she still could smell the flammable liquid odor and she didn't know where now the soldier was pointing his weapon.

Lilea started to ask energy to the universe, the grounds, the air, all the elements, even with the few connections she could feel with the day for the charm she made earlier. Her stick fell on the floor, she stepped down the stair.

"You're dust!" Finn said before to start make the flame burst again.

Suddenly Riley felt himself flying away from near the porch and land far on the grass, then the herb grow fast around his wrists, waist and legs. Lilea stood up. Walked toward Riley, with a glacial gaze. She could see the energy of grass around his body, so she stared pretty in his eye direction "I won't let again hurt someone I love. You took me away my family once. I won't let it happen again."

Scoobies run out of the door stopping themselves when they understood what made the house tremble.

Lilea moved her hand on the bottom of her shirt, showing a scar on her lower stomach. "You took away my baby… it's not something I can forgive. But I won't let you have any power on me or on the people I love."

Riley gulped, then she moved toward Spike, kneeling beside him. "I'm sorry sweety… I guess it will hurt but I have to, it's the only way I know…" She posed her hand on Spike's head, and her other one against the grass, calling the earth energy to help her.

She started speaking in a uncompressible way, letting the energy come through herself while tears were rolling on her cheek.

A moment later Spike started to scream in pain, again, louder than earlier, while a terrified Riley stared with wide open eyes.

Buffy run close them but an invisible energy hinder her coming closer. All she saw was Spike was writhing for pain, screaming, without understand what was happening.

Lilea heard Buffy screaming Spike name, and the beg her to stop harming him.

The vampire seemed hearing her too, trying to stretch toward Buffy, whispering her name. Then something appeared in Lilea hand. The Chip.

She held it into her hand. Then she caressed Spike's head, "Sorry… there wasn't any other way…" then she collapsed, exhausted, and everything stopped.

Buffy bent near a whacked Spike, taking him into her arms. They looked each other without speaking, she wiped the tears that she realized were rolling down her cheeks.

"Are you ok?" He nodded with a big effort.

Riley, suddenly set free by the herbs, razed slowly, then embracing again his flame-thrower pointed it against an unconscious Lilea.

"Buffy move away from them." He said coldly, any trace of the fear he had a minute ago seemed deleted.

"What you do you guess to do with that thing?" The official slayer asked with an exhausted voice.

"What's right." Again Riley spoke with an expressionless voice. "You just saw what it's capable to do."

"What??? And what Lilea meant when she said you took away her baby?"

"I made what was right." Military answer, who was the guy in front of her, Buffy wondered.

Giles stepped closer to Lilea, tasting her pulse, taking her into his arms, with Xander help.

"Iniziative captured Lilea when she was pregnant of Navarre's. They made have an abortion and they…" Giles thought very carefully the word to use. What they did was so brutal. "They studied the fetus."

"What????" Xander voiced all the scoobies' dismay.

Buffy stood up, disbelieving. "Riley, tell him he's wrong"

"I made what it was right." He repeated. "We need information on demons. So we took it."

"And this was what you would made to me if I would be pregnant of Spike? Took my baby away and dissect it for studying?"

"It's different, you're human." He seemed outraged from he doubt.

"Have you completely lost your mind? What in hell do you guess Lilea is? She's human too, just like me."

"She is a demon, you just see what she is capable to do!"

"Idiot! She's a witch and she is a slayer. It's not like you never met any of them. You stayed with me for almost a year! You met Faith too! It's not like if you don't know we can exist! And you saw Adam, you see what damages science can do!"

"She can't be human! Initiative never…"

"Shut up. And get out. Out for my life and from Lilea's and Spike's. If any of your organization will even try to see them, contact them or simply try to look at them in a way I don't like, you have to be ready to my revenge. I'm a slayer, demons fear me more than they ever will of your stupid 'GI-Jo wanna be' organizations. Go. Now. You disgust me."

"Buffy" He plead unable to understood how he could be wrong with a human.

She turned her back toward the soldier. "I said go." Then she bent again near Spike, helping him to rise and sustaining him. His left arms was injured, and his head still was hurting for the deep pain of few minutes ago, he still seemed confuse and really tired.

"Where's Lilea?" Buffy take a deep breath. Even in this condition, and even if she made him suffer such big pain the first thing he thought was her.

Buffy's husky voice answered. "Giles took her inside…"

"No chip 'nymore." He said with a big effort, while Buffy took his undamaged arm and put around her own neck, helping him to enter at home.

"I know." Her voice trembled painfully.

Xander was on the threshold. He let Willow and Anya help Giles with Lilea. He stared Buffy make an effort to keep Spike stand.

Rising the porch step he trapped. Buffy sustained him with her own weight and putting one hand on his chest, in order to help him better.

But still Xander didn't move. "He has no chip to save us. What do you guess will stop him to kill every person here, Buff?"

No rage, no accuse this time in this words, he simply said that, just asking.

"It's so long isn't the chip to stop him, Xander. He faced Glory with us. He cared for Dawn when I was… away. That wasn't the chip, Xander."

The guy still watched them enter in the house. Will she ever learn? He had some doubts about that.

"Can you manage to arrive upstairs? Bedrooms are there" She whispered to Spike's ears.

"I was always able to arrive at your bedroom…" He tried to joke, but his voice was just a breath and his face was still shrunken by pain.

"I guess you're feeling better" She smiled faintly to him. "you can even be snotty-nosed."

Spike tried to nod, without really having the strength to speak again, but even this was too much for him, so he felt himself fall down, and he realized that he was going to bring Buffy with him, so without think at pain he grabbed violently with his injured arm the handrail. Even before doing that he knew it was a bad move. He growled a sort of voiceless shriek. His faced morphed in his vampire mask.

"It's ok Spike. I have got you… I won't let fall you down." She caressed his face lightly. "You don't need your game face."

He looked at her. His feature back at his human form, simply staring her with the most grateful gaze she remember in all her life.

Willow emerged from Dawn's room. "Do you need help?"

"Can you open my door?" then she added to the exhaust guy. "we're almost arrived. Just few steps." She didn't understood if he sort of nodded or if simply was falling asleep.

Willow helped to put him on the bed without let his arm hit everywhere. "Did you know that?"

"About Lilea?" Buffy added her answer with a gesture of her head. "I suppose Giles knew… I guess he told me she went through a lot, but I didn't really imagine this much. She seem so young."

"She is so positive. How can she be in this way after what it happen? How can she not use all the power she has in a bad way?" Willow stopped for a moment as if she was looking for the right words. "Buffy I felt her energy earlier. Even fighting with Riley there wasn't any of black magic in that. When I arrived outside and saw him tied to the ground I thought she was going to kill him… instead she ... she went to help Spike. Not sure she did the right thing with the chip, but she meant."

Buffy made a little gesture with her shoulder. "I don't know. We, you and me I mean, have power… and we try to do our best, even if don't always do that in the right way… You see… look at him, he's giving his best since he started staying with her." She sighed quite heavily, probably even louder she meant. "We need to care his burns."

"Does it hurt so bad?"

Buffy shrugged. "We can't leave that in this way. And I guess it will hurt a lot when he woke up."

"I wasn't speaking about his arm. I was asking about you." She smiled, moving some hair from her friend face.

Buffy simply stared her best-friend for a moment. No need of words.

"I'll took here the first aid kit. I'll be right back"

Giles entered in the same moment Willow left the room.

"How is Lilea?"

"Sleeping. I guess she will not able to do any of magic for a while. Willow said that when she used some charm she wasn't ready for she was drained for a while, so I suppose she will magic-less at least for a couple of days." The watcher looked his slayer. "Are you all right?"

Buffy needed some longs seconds before answer. "Honestly, I don't know. I just found that my former boyfriends made experiment on human… like a nazi-scientist. And that I could be forced to dust Spike… if he start to be danger… and I'm afraid he could be. Giles I dreamed he was killing Lilea."

"Definitely not. I can't believe it will happen. Buffy I am not biggest Spike's fan here, I never was. But he showed he really care for her. He saved her more than once."

"It was part of the dream with Tara. When Lilea and mine's dream divided I dreamed about Spike drinking from her."

"I don't know what to say. If you guess he's a danger you should dust him. Or we should ask her what she dreamed about."

Buffy stayed silent for some long moments "You guess he could had killed us even with the chip, if he really meant?"

"I guess you have already your answer, Buffy."

She whispered. "He's wise, he would had found a way… if he really meant."

Willow was back in few minutes with the first-Aid. She had also a tray with fresh water and a towel.

"We need to clean him… if we want to do it correctly. And I just checked Lilea… still sleeping, Anya and Dawn are with her."

Buffy nodded. "Can Dawn sleep in your room tonight, Will, so we don't need to move Lil?" She cut Spike shirt around the burn. In order to make it slip more easily. Part of it was starting to glue to him. It was going to be quite painfully for him. Buffy decided that was better to hurry, at least now he was unconscious so maybe he could not feel all the ache.

The vampire moaned in his dreamless sleep.

Buffy let Willow and Giles take care of Spike's arm. She sat on a chair near the bed. Her leg crouched against her chest, her chin on her knees, a sad expression on her face.

She couldn't dust him. She knew she simply never will be able to do that. So what if he was going to attack her now that he hasn't any chip… but he already could harm her, and still he never tried to kill her. Even when she dump him, even when she tried to kicked him out of her life, even when he let her beat him until his face was no more recognizable in the alley behind the police station. He stayed. He fought at her side, even when she didn't want him at all.

'He tried to rape you.' A voice into her head almost shout.

'He was the most horrified for that.' Another one answered.

'Please, Spike, don't force myself to kill you too. I killed Angel, once. I can't do that again.'

'Yeah, but you loved Angel… and you don't… you do. You do love Spike.'

"Oh God" then she realized she thought it loudly "I forgot something" she apologized with Giles and Willow leaving the room in a rush.

She sheltered in the bathroom. She shut the door behind herself and leaned against it, slipping down slowly.

In Love. With Spike.

How?

When?

Why?

Just now, that he was back with Lilea, he was pretty happy, and she was pretty happy before he came back. Why now?

'That's not true, you know you were missing him to death. You dreamed about him.'

"Oh God… this must be a nightmare… this… is so wrong… he's…. is Spike."

'You slept with him not much time ago. This wasn't so a problem at time.'

'I WAS WRONG! IT WASN'T LOVE.'

And if… if it was?

'No I left him because it wasn't love just lust… bad lust… shame, shame on you Buffy…'

'Lust or fear of becoming too close to him? of needing him?'

"Oh God…" She felt suddenly scared. Scared of her own feeling. Scared to suffer again as she did with Angel. "I don't wanna this… Please…"

**_To be continued_**


	29. Chapter 28

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 28**

When Spike opened his eyes, outside was still dark. There was someone asleep on a chair near the big bed he were lying on. He very slowly sit, his head still was hurt him as if this was a morning after his worse fuddle ever. He massaged his temple, trying vainly to make it better. Doing that he realized his right arm was perfectly swathed.

For a couple of moment he tried to remember what happened earlier and where he was now. This seemed Buffy's room but it was bigger than he remembered, and even if something was similar it was different, then he realized: Joyce's room. He didn't even know Buffy and Willow exchanged their room, he wasn't sure about why, but he found this quite sad.

He looked at the sleeping woman: she was curled into the chair, and from her position probably she was freezing. He moved slowly toward her fighting with the instinct of caressing her hair.

"Buffy, you should go in the bed. I'll take the chair."

She st irred a little without opening her eyes. "Give me five minutes." she muttered in a almost not comprehensible way.

"It's a cold night, go under the blankets"

Still too dreaming for realize what Spike was saying. "Yeah, Giles. Later."

He smiled "Wrong British, luv, it's me."

She opening her eyes "Hey." She looked around, then she saw his bandaged arm and she become completely awake. "How do you feel?" She shivered.

"I'm not the one going to wake up tomorrow with a pneumonia. You're an irresponsible."

"Thanks Spike… it's always a pleasure wake up next to you."

He smiled. "You're welcome. Come on…" He gave his right hand in order to help her to stand up.

Buffy stared that for long seconds. "Spike? What's now?" She asked warily, almost scared of the potential answer.

He in vain tried to figure out what she really meant. "Nothing. You're going to sleep and I'll go to my crypt before the sunrise."

Buffy decided to accept his help, not that this was something she really needed or made her feel comfortable but she knew he would be hurt if she didn't accept his hand. "Lilea is sleeping, she really need to rest and she need have you close when she is going to wake up. You can't leave."

He thought a moment about that and agreed. "Probably you're right."

"Then?"

"Buffy what do you mean?" Buffy put one hand into her pocket and she took off the chip. "Oh, that."

"Yeah that. What's happen now?" She sat in the big bed, covering still trembling.

"I promise I'm no going to hurt anyone."

"Spike…" her voice was husky.

"Listen to me, last year when I find that my chip didn't worked with you the first thing I tried to do was attaching a girl in an alley. Luckily you know the effect it still had on me. I want you know that. Sometimes I still have that instinct, but I promise it wasn't the chip who stops me, not anymore. I stopped myself."

"Spike… I don't want to be forced to dust you… and I have already this problem with Anya… soon or later she will do something bad… it's her nature… she's a revenge demon… and soon or later someone will ask her to kill some guy… and she will have to do that and I…" She was blabbing, in an adorable scared, worried way.

"It won't happen to me. You will not need to do that… and I guess you shouldn't worry about Anya… You listen her earlier… She's not a simply bad demon anymore. You won't be forced to do nothing. Give her a chance to prove that."

"I'm so tired…" she massage her eyes with her hands. "I mean, I'm here waiting again a new Apocalypse and everything seem so wrong…"

"You should rest. I let you sleep." He moved some inches.

"Are we going to do this again?" Buffy asked him hiding her face against his knees again.

"Do what?"

"The whole 'Rest no stay' thing… as at Giles'. "

He smiled sitting on the more far corner of her bed. "I guess we are both very tired, or at least I am…" Buffy didn't comment that, but she realized just now that Spike was still moving and speaking almost in slow motion, probably for the pain.

"Does your head still hurt?"

"No, I'm fine." He shrugged. Then he tried to rise himself but he had to sit again. "Ok, I'm lying. It's still hurting like hell… but is improving."

"Maybe having another nap could help you."

"I can sleep with Lilea…" He figured out.

"Actually she's sleeping in a Dawn's bed… I don't guess there is room for two in that one…" Buffy tried to say that in a casual way.

They stayed silent for a while. "Is it that I'm tired or is it still very difficult for us?" he asked apologetically.

Buffy looked at him for a long moment before answer. "I guess both… but yeah, it's not easy, sometimes."

"Now I really need to sleep, Slayer."

"Well, Giles and Xander went home. Anya is sleeping on the couch, downstairs."

"So… What I have to do?"

"I don't know."

"Ok, look, slayer, I'll take the chair, I just need to sleep a little more. Do you mind if I stay here? I can took it near Lilea if you do."

Buffy laughed a little for the so un-Spike question. "She really is making you polite… But yes I would mind if you take the chair."

He gave her a puzzled look. Of course she wasn't going to sleep with him in her room, it happened at Giles, but they were quite forced at time.

Buffy smiled kindly to him. "You're injured. I'll sleep on it. You took the bed."

"No way! You're freezing there! I saw you." He sound almost insulted.

"And you're in pain so you need to rest! Come on Spike! Stop acting like a sexist! You're not even able to move normally! And I'm not a demoiselle in distress."

"I have no intention allowing you to sleep on that torture chair. End of topic."

"You're a dope!" then Buffy stayed silently for a moment. She had to breath quite deeply before find the brave to tell her solution. "Look, this a big bed, we could… share." Buffy looked his face with also a little of worry.

His expression for a moment seemed glow with hope and happiness, no luxury or anything like that, just a real moment where he felt he was probably forgiven. Then a moment later his face darkened and he couldn't look Buffy's eyes anymore.

"No. I can't." He simply answered.

"Come on, Spike, Lilea will understand… We're not going to do nothing but just sleep…"

"No, **_YOU_** don't understand!" He seemed angry and hurt now. "It's not Lilea, it's you! God, Buffy, I still have your pleas to stop screaming in my head!" He pointed his temple "Buffy I never… I can't." he rose and started to move away from the bed as quickly he could.

Buffy jumped out if the bed too, stopping him before he could left her room, her heart was pumping furiously. She stared him, right into his eyes, no words just a look, teary eyes. Until she found something easy to say.

"At least I can check you're not going to have any human snack in this house tonight…" She made an effort to try to smile

"I won't anyway." He whispered.

"I know. But I prefer check. And you sleep at left, so I won't hit your arm sleeping."

"Buffy I…"

"You know, for being a sleeping one you really are very polemic. Look, it's late, I'm tired, you're are hurt so we sleep now. End of discussion." And without look at him again she lie down opening the blanket for him.

She lied on her side, giving her back to him, hiding her face in the dark of the room. Her eyes opened wide, her heart pumping furiously in her chest, trying to hold her breath in order to listen his movement.

_In love with Spike._

God what a night!

And she really asked him to sleep with her? Was she crazy?

She heard his boot turn in the bed direction, then his heavy step moving close.

He sat on the edge of the bed. "Buffy, are you really sure?"

The only thing she could hope was that he was too tired in order to focus on her heartbeat who was almost exploding into her chest.

"Spike, shut up and rest!"

_To be continued_


	30. Chapter 29

**Since you waited so long last chapter, I update fast this time. Happy now, Becca? ;)**

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 29**

Spike's ache should be still very painful, since as soon he put his head on the pillow he fell asleep, Buffy turned to her other side after few minutes later. He was sleeping, no breath, no movements. What strange sense. She realized that she almost lost him today… probably that was what made her realize her real feeling. And that explained also all the bitter emotions Lilea always made her feel. Ok, she was his girlfriend now and nothing could change the situation. Maybe if she try to tell him, but then? After all Lilea went through during last year trying to steal her lover it would be ignoble. Once she survived without Angel, she could do that trying to forget Spike. So with this hard decision Buffy slipped in a dreamless sleep.

_**-O-**_

Her fragrance made him aware of Buffy's presence even during his sleep. So without realize it, Spike moved closer in the bed toward the woman he loved, his arm moved around her, his legs intertwined with hers.

"I missed you so much." He whispered.

_**-O-**_

Buffy opened her eyes wide when she felt a unfamiliar weight on her side and then Spike's leg moving circling her ones. She was ready to push him away badly, again. Ok, she asked him to share the bed but this wasn't what she meant. She wasn't ready for so much contact yet. She wasn't even sure she wanted it again. But she looked at him: on his face again the same peaceful expression he had at Giles' when he slept on the floor.

His sleeping voice mutter in his dream. "I missed you so much."

Buffy felt tears pickle against her eyes, how much she wanted to hear him said her that. Instead he was thinking to Lilea, she was quite sure about that. So she tried to move away trying to not awake him, the idea of sharing the bed with him tightened to her thinking to someone else was unbearable. How crazy she was to think that they could share this and not being hurt. She just withdrew just a couple of inches.

His embrace become stronger around her. His head lowered into her hair pushing Buffy more against himself. "Don't leave me, Buffy. 'need ya."

He wasn't dreaming about Lilea, he knew who was the girl in his arms. And she knew he wasn't pretending to sleep as he made more than once when they had their sort of relationship. She learned the difference ages ago.

Buffy's heart almost stooped for the emotion. Again she found herself fighting against tears, and without be able to stop herself she started to trembling violently, chattering her teeth.

_**-O-**_

Spike opened his eyes slowly. The feminine figure into his arms trembling in a scaring way. For a moment he felt pretty confuse. He knew this smell, her skin fragrance. "Buffy? What's wrong?" then he become aware of their position. His whole body froze, for the implication if his completely unconscious gestures.

"Oh God, Buffy, I didn't' mean…" He tried to move away as fast as he could. A guilty expression on his face as the time he smacked her in the hospital months ago. "I didn't want to scare you… I promise Buffy I didn't realize it." But something stopped him. Instead of letting him withdraw, Buffy hide her face against his chest, holding him tighter.

He couldn't do anything else that stare her for long moments. "Buffy, tell me what's wrong?"

She made effort to answer "I'm not able to stop. Help me to stop, Spike, please…" her words were barely comprehensible for the violent chattering, whispered against his chest.

The vampire shut his eyes hard, his head fall behind and breathed deeply as if he really needed it, then made his arms slept further around her body, slowly so she could stop him or push him away in every moment. He started to whispering nonsense, moving his hand on her back in a strong, careful, reassuring way. "Hey… whatever is this we can sort it out… Buffy look at me…"

He felt something warm on his chest skin. He with all the softness he was able, forced Buffy to meet his eyes. Hers were closed, tears were rolling down her cheeks.

"Buffy, please look at me. Tell me what's wrong. I can't help you in this way…"

Slowly she opened her eyes, looking right into his one. "Can you… just don't go for a while." then she felt so embarrassed for her request she had to move her gaze away.

Spike kissed her head, caressed her hair, and wiped her tears.

"I have all the time in the word, Buffy… I can stay here forever." He started to rock her as if she was a small baby that need to sleep. His hand moved under her shirt, caressing her back as he did earlier, just in a more intimate gesture.

Buffy held her breath tensing herself at the contact of the bare skin: sensual and warm but not sexual vibe were coming from him, she could feel Spike in a way she never thought was possible. He was there, making her feeling protect as never before, and even if his gentle touch made her tremble with desire, his touch was almost pure, there wasn't any second purpose in what he was doing.

"Spike…"

"Shhh, it's all right, luv, nothing is gonna to happen. You have just to trust me, I'm not gonna to hurt you ." The word didn't' had the waited result because her tears become sobs.

He bent his head again on her, kissing her forehead, he wanted so desperately say something to force her to feel better, maybe he could try to make her smile, he did in really worse moment, so maybe he could do that again.

"Well, at least if you're sobbing you can't chatter you teeth."

Buffy felt hurt, she was there crying all herself and this stupid vampire now was having fun of her. So she tried to push him away. "Let me go" She said with rage and fury.

He weaken his cuddle so she could escape easily, but whispered "No, I'm not gonna to leave you in this state. I wanna be sure you're ok, if you want I can move on the chair, but not until you stop to tremble in this way." She didn't remember someone talk to her in a so sweet, persuasive, loving voice. "Is this ok for you?" She nodded against his chest. "Good girl".

He caressed her head and back, probably for an hour or so on. Slowly Buffy calmed, her trembling vanished, but still they didn't' move, Spike gradually stopped to caress her, until they stayed motionless for a long while.

Buffy guessed he probably felt asleep again. So carefully she tried to slip off the bed, but in the same moment Spike moved away his arms, letting her to do that without any effort.

Even in the darkness of the room they could stare each other, and she smiled to him, moving one of her hand on his arm.

He growled for the pain and she remembered about the fire. "Oh, God, I'm sorry… I wasn't thinking."

"It's ok, luv, love hurts, we both know that." He smiled to her, sitting on the bed. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

She shook her head without ever losing contact with his eyes, chewing her lips nervously.

He stretched his hand toward her face, his finger lightly caressed her lips. "You'll end up bleeding if you keep that up." His eyes shone with a malicious light. "Have you any idea how tempting it would be, Slayer?" But he had already moved away, wore his boot, standing in the middle of the room. He stretched his shoulders, making them creak.

He looked at his left arm. "Well, I suppose it could end worse."

"Does it still hurt?"

"Like hell. But at least it remember me that I'm not dust yet." He walked toward the door. "Buffy… Thanks for letting me help you." And he vanished toward Lilea's room.

_**-O-**_

He sat on the small bed, Lilea stretched rubbing her eyes. "Hey"

"Hey, how're you?"

"Tired." She mumbled "But you're happy."

He pretend to growl "Don't spoil always everything. And Yes I'm happy"

"And you're sad too."

He paused "Yeah, Miss IKnowEverythingEvenWhenI'mBloodySleping, I'm sad too. "

Lilea tensed for a moment before speak again. "Where is him?"

"Finn?" She nodded. "Buffy made he go away. He's not going to be a problem anymore."

"Good. 'm so tired." She breathed deeply. "How's your head?"

"Better, and so my burn"

"I can't heal you… sorry… I feel empty… like no magic at all"

"Rest. That's what you need. Don't worry you'll be ok" He caressed her head.

"But I need all my magic, to protect you."

He moved some inches in order to see her eyes. "What in hell you mean?"

"The prophecy. You are the key." She whispered.

He shook his head. "Dawn is the key."

"No. You're. The ancient and new soul… Dawn is at least 3 years old, it's not new anymore"

"Anya?"

"She is a revenge Demon. She never lost her soul. They need soul for hate more. Can we speak  
tomorrow? I don't know what I am saying."

"It's more easy making you say the truth."

Lilea rested her head against Spike chest.

"Do you would like be mortal again?"

"I need my vampire power . I can't help you or Buffy without them. Of course be mortal would be great but it's not going to happen." He paused a moment

"Lil, I guess she has something that's worrying her… she was so sad earlier… God, Lil, have you any idea how I felt when she cried in my arms? She seemed so fragile and desperate… she never did… she never let herself cry, not with me. Just that time in hospital… but no one is dying today…"

The youngest slayer caressed her face yawning again before answering. "I'll speak with her. She will be fine after that."

"You already know what she has"

"The same you've. I still have to decide if you both are more blind than me or simply mortally stupid. Now Sweety… Let me sleep or I'll start to cry like a little baby."

"There is enough room for two here?" She moved in the bed letting him more space.

Spike laid and Lilea rested against his chest. "What in hell you mean that we have the same thing?" He asked a moment later.

The girl gaping long before to answer. "You're completely in love for each other and you're too scared about this in order to admit it openly. Now, if you're not going to let me sleep I'm going to kill you, without even ask if I can."

" Ok, Ok. I let you sleep…" Just a moment later he added "Lil?"

She pretend to weep "PLEASE sleep!"

"Thanks for the chip"

"Ya're welcome, bro."

_**To Be Continued.**_


	31. Chapter 30

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 30**

Lilea walked slowly, looking herself around. "Where Am I?" she asked loudly.

No answer. Everything was so unclear, not scary but still confusing. There was a feeling of calm here.

"Is someone here?"

"You already know that what you did today isn't enough, don't you?" A familiar voice spoke from behind her shoulder.

Lilea smiled at Tara.

"I know… But I couldn't let Riley…"

"You already know Navarre left so I could come to help you…"

Lilea simply nodded slowly. "You connected with the day… and this helps too. But you need to do more. Spike is in a real danger. As soon as they will admit their real feelings the danger will be bigger. You have to stop the danger before it stops Spike. You'll need someone else's help to do tt. I can't tell you any more about this."

"I'll figure it out… Tara… How can we stop the Nightcoming?"

She smiled. "You know I can't tell you… but you don't have to be alone in this too. You need others. It wouldn't be a problem if you knew them. They aren't bad… They need time."

"Maybe they just need to see things they aren't ready for…" Tara smiled back at hee. "I'm sorry if I offended Willow, today."

"You told her what she needed to know. And you were right. Magic is Love, not destruction. Magic is life." She paused. "I'm sorry… I have to make you live to again… it will keep happening until you find the right way…"

"What do you mean - live what again?"

Then everything around her changed and she found herself in the usual crypt where her nightmares always end.

She saw the arrow hit Spike while he protected Buffy with his body, then a crying Buffy kill the demon and then hold a dying Spike confessing her love.

Lilea saw Spike raise his hand toward Buffy's face with a tender gesture. He caressed her cheek and his finger caressed her mouth, then suddenly the hand fell to the ground and Buffy cried out his name.

_**-O-**_

Lilea found herself sitting on the bed, as she had done every time she ended the nightmare. Tears on her cheeks this time were flowing uncontrollably. She covered her own mouth to stop any sound from slipping from it.

Spike's lights were sleeping next to her.

She rose slowly, trying to find a way to move away from the bed. She had no idea where she was, so she needed to be more careful than usual. In another situation she could try to cast a spell but she still didn't feel ready to try any magic. She found the room door, somehow, and then corridor. Not many steps after she saw a familiar light, motionless. Ok that one must be Buffy's room, so not far she should find the staircase. A glass of water probably would probably help to calm her down. Again, slowly, step by step she arrived at the ground floor. Now she knew her direction toward the kitchen.

A light was there. She wasn't the only one awake that night.

"Anya?"

"Hey! Do you feel better?" Lilea nodded. "I can't sleep. We didn't have the dinner, now I'm starving."

'_You have to stop the danger before it stops Spike. You'll need someone else's help to do that_.' Tara's words resounded in Lilea's mind.

"Anya… how does your power work?"

"What do you mean?"

"When can you grant wishes?"

"Well, I'm vengeance demon, so revenge is what gives me power… a girl told me that she wished her ex-boyfriend would turn into a worm and he did it."

"And if a girl wanted to teach a lesson to the person who took away her boyfriend?"

Anya for a moment felt Lilea's need for revenge grow and she started to be scared. Did the new slayer want to punish Buffy for sleeping with Spike tonight?

"Well it works too… I mean revenge is something deep… Scary. You don't want to deal with that."

"Then I wish you could help me to stop the one who stole my boyfriend from me…"

"NO, NO! I don't want…" She moved away from Lilea quickly.

"Please!! I need your help! I need your power!"

"I'm not gonna to let you kill Buffy!"

There was a moment of silence. A long one. Then Lilea burst out laughing. She covered her mouth to stop the noise but tears rolled down on her cheeks "Buffy… You mean Spike and me… That's why… Spike…"

Anya walked carefully toward the laughing girl. "I think you're gone crazy, you know?"

Lilea wiped her tears, trying to control herself. "You thought I wanted Buffy dead and I'm the crazy?"

"Then I'm confused."

"I need your help to stop the demon who killed Navarre. And I have a very short time in which to do it."

"I can't kill this demon."

"Then Spike will be dead too. Gulthias is going to kill him."

"How do you know?"

"Anya… he could kill Xander or you as well… he hates it when demons and mortals are involved with each other. He killed Navarre, he made me blind… and now he's going to attack Buffy… and Spike will die in order to save her. I went into this. I don't want Buffy to go what I went through. I guess being Buffy a Slayer gives him more access to his knowledge of this love… I don't know how this works."

"Xander too?" Lilea just nodded. "I can't kill the demon. It's not allowed for me do that."

"Darn… well we can find a solution… If we warn Spike he will try to do something stupid and he will be killed anyway. The same thing will happen if we tell this to Buffy…"

"Tell me what do you know."

"Spike and Buffy will be in a crypt, not Spike's, this one is quite empty, it hasn't all his fornitures in it. They will fight against some vampires and then Gulthias will appear and he will shoot Buffy but Spike will protect her, and the arrow will hit him, Buffy will kill the… demon but Spike will… I can't let him die in her arms. I have to stop that…" She stopped "The arrow… I have to stop the arrow… It's the only way… Can you help me to do that?"

"You know it will be risky? You might die in that."

"If I die… you have to promise you'll help Spike to fulfill the prophecy… he's the only one who can stop the Night. He belongs to the Night… I think I understood the prophecy. Anya nothing of what I'm telling you now can leave this room. You have to be silent for the greater good."

"I promise. But I don't like it"

"And when the time of the Night arrives, good and bad forces will be joined, and this means the Scoobies will be joined with you and Spike, for the bad forces, you're both demons, even though you're not evil. This explains 'because good and bad will not exist anymore. Death will not be the difference' it's you, Spike, Buffy and Tara's help. 'The One will become three' Three slayers, three chosen ones, and an ancient but new soul will be a key' - this must be Spike, his soul is something new, he chose it, and for that he fought his inner demon, 'mothers who are not', this must be Buffy and I, Dawn was made by her, I was pregnant but never become a mother. 'Dead and undead will work together' – again, this is all of us, and 'love and revenge will work together for the same purpose' - I suppose this can be you and me, 'Heaven and Hell will stop fighting in order to stop the time and a new night will not come'." She paused again for a moment. "I'll try to figure out this more. I'll find a way, so if anything happen to me… you'll know… I'm starting to panic, am I?"

"Lilea… you know you might die" Anya said again.

"If I save Spike, the world could be safe. If I don't, we will all be dead anyway. Remember - not a word to anyone."

"Ok, then make your wish again."

"I wish I can stop Gulthias from killing Spike, and that Buffy can kill him like he deserves for destroying so much love." Anya lowered her head.

"Spike will kill me, but," her face changed for a second, "your wish is granted."

Lilea hugged her. "Thanks. I couldn't do this without you."

"Yeah… I just feel as if I just killed you, and I don't like this at all."

"Whatever is going to happen to me, I chose that. Now, can I have something to eat too?"

"Do you really think Buffy and Spike…?"

"A vampire and a slayer isn't romantic?"

"I think creepy would be more like it."

_**To Be Continued**_


	32. Chapter 31

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 31**

"Anya… I need your help." Lilea looked toward the demon energy.

"Hey, I'm not helping you anymore. Spike's already going to want my dead for what I did!"

"I need you and Willow. I have to teach you both how to stop the Night. If I don't survive to Gulthias who will save the day, quite literally?"

"I'm a demon, I can't help you in this. Demons already hate me! They said I've softened. They will kill me."

"Kill a friend of a slayer? Actually of two slayers? They'd never dare!"

"You've no idea how nasty…"

"Believe me, I have a pretty good idea, but they won't dare. And I'll try to cast some spells for you, as soon I'm be able to again."

"Still no magic?"

"I used magic too much. Two very big spells in a few minutes… my batteries are still recharging." She seemed calm and relaxed about this. Actually, she was feeling as though she was dying inside. She had started to do magic when she was so young she could barely remember her life before that, she had to.

"How do you think you'll be able to fight Gulthias without it?"

Lilea smiled "I'm always a slayer, I will find a way."

"So I'll take the amulet from Giles. Can you speak with Willow? It's really serious"

"I hate you, you know that?" Lilea laughed.

"See you later at Buffy's at seven."

_**-O-**_

The demon-girl, the witch and the newest slayer stayed in Willow's room for at least one hour. No voice from outside, no strange earthquake in the house, no fancy or flashy lights arrive from the inside.

Dawn was trying to hear them but she wasn't able to catch anything.

"Nothing…" She explained to Xander when she went downstairs. "They're acting as if there's no-one in. They didn't answer when I call them. But the door is closed."

"What do you guess is happening?"

Buffy joined to them with a cup full of popcorn. "Are they still inside?"

"We don't know…"

"Lil's plotting something." Spike burst out.

"Are you sure?"

"Come on Slayer! She's keeping secrets from me, and now she's there with two of the most powerful people in the town."

"Yeah… but they are girls too… maybe they need to speak about guys…" Xander pointed out.

"Then why leave out Dawn and Buffy? It's a nonsense. _**AND**_ Lilea isn't able to think to anyone just now… Anya is with you, and I won't comment on her lack of taste in that… and I doubt that Red can think about _**ANY**_ guy."

"So?"

"So I'm going to take her, tie her up and torture her until she speaks."

"WHAT?" The three guys shouted at the same time.

Spike just gave them a sarcastic look.

"Lilea is strange. I'm worried she is going to do something dangerous. That's why she's acting strange."

"I didn't notice she was acting strange."

"Of course, monkey boy, you don't even speak to her."

"And she doesn't speak to me. I'm not forced to speak to anyone."

"Sure you aren't, and you're an idiot"

"Hey guys! Stop here. Can we stay on topic? The girls are plotting something."

_**-O-**_

"This is gonna be quite intense, I don't know if I'm able to do it without… Last time I dealt with so much power I almost made the world end," Willow muttered

"Try to destroy the Magic box again and I'll kill you!" Anya exclaimed.

"It's not a dark energy, the one you, or we, will connect with. It's the purest and lightest form of energy you'll find in your life. It's like the essence of love. It's not easy to explain, but in the brief moment I connected with it I felt myself so full of love and complete… it's like being in Heaven… except I was alive."

"I killed people, I don't think I could go to Heaven… plus I'm not even a Christian, so…"

"I'm pagan too… but that doesn't mean anything. If Spike, who killed more people than I want to know about, died today he would go straight to this sort of Heaven, faster than if he'd taken the Hogwarts Express, no stop, straight there. And you know why? Because he's different now. Because he chose the good side. You know, like 'Stars War'."

"But I still have that thing in me. The dark side. And I didn't pay for what I did."

"Darker than Spike? And it's not true you didn't pay… You do. Your doubts, your fears, your feelings are making you pay, and probably you'll pay for the rest of your life, because this is the real you. Will, Spike told me how much you helped with magic, that's what you have to focus on, just the good you can still do, not the evil you did."

"Nice speech… but boring… can we go now? It's dinner time. And Xander is waiting me." Anya interrupted them, without caring about being polite.

"What can we say to the others? They will be curious I'm sure." Willow asked.

"The best way to lie is to tell the truth. We can say we are try to looking for something to stop the Night but we didn't find anything. It's too early for them to know that."

_**To Be Continued**_


	33. Chapter 32

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 32**

Lilea had no idea why she had let herself be convinced again to go in this place again. She hated the Bronze - not really for the club itself, there was cool music and good stuff to drink but because it hurt so much to walk in that alley. But she felt that Spike had been distant since the night they stayed at Buffy's. He seemed worried, even more guilty than he had been earlier. But he didn't explain. The truth was that she knew that the time was coming closer. Gulthias could arrive at any moment. And even if Anya was going to help she didn't want to risk missing the moment Spike and Buffy admitted their feelings.

So she Lilea looked around. There was no magic light except for Spike and some of the Scoobies. She breathed deeply, holding Spike's arm a little more tightly. She released it as soon as he asked her if she was fine. "Sure I'm… I was stumbling. I'm very fine," she lied.

Spike was the person who knew her best, and still he didn't understand her pain when she went in places like this one, or pretended not to.

Usually they paid visits to some demon bars, and it was easier for her. When she went in places like this, she just had to be careful of where she was walking or walls and stuff like that. She never had to worry about demons. Spike never let them touch her, but she can sort of see them so she didn't have to care about where people danced or walked.

But just now she felt lost. Spike was more distracted than usual, he was already on to his third beer. Part of her was glad about him feeling less tense about her safety, but the other part knew he wasn't so relaxed about something else. And the strong female light in front of her was the reason she didn't even need to look for.

The loud music madeit difficult for her to hear, so Lilea had the tendency to isolate herself.

"Hey, folks, sitting here is nice and all, but how about we take advantage of the music and dance? And no, I'm not going to be the Funky Monkey victim again this time!" Xander's voice, this time a little louder than earlier, broke Lilea's attention.

All the guys rose from their chairs except the youngest slayer and the vampire. "You're not joining us? Spike said you were a professional." Buffy put her hand on Lilea's shoulder, waiting some seconds for an answer. Obviously she was trying to be kind. She did it more and more often lately, since Navarre's quite, but even more after what she had discovered that night with Riley. She wasn't pretending to be sweeter, not at all, the girl was really trying to make the effort, but Lilea knew it was something Buffy wasn't very comfortable with. At least with her.

"Sorry, I'm not in a very dancing mood today…" she apologized. "But if you two want to, I really don't mind…"

"I don't dance." Spike was very decided.

"It's a pity, you're leaving Xander as the only guy with all these girls…" Lilea was smiling, she felt silly that she had been feeling sad that he was too relaxed with her, and now she was trying to persuade him to go.

"I'm not a dancer," he said firmly.

"You're just into cheek to cheek dancing, I know." Then Lilea looked at Buffy's colors mixing "I mean… I didn't mean… " She blushed. "What I'm trying to say is that you two should go and dance. I can stay here for a while."

"As I said, I don't dance. I'm going to have a beer." Lilea heard him stand up.

Buffy bent toward Lilea's ear "Are you sure?"

She nodded. "Just go, and have fun. I simply will relax and enjoy the music." She smiled "Don't worry for me." 

_**-O-**_

Lilea saw Buffy's colors go away, and Spike's go to order his beer.

Sitting there alone, right in the middle of 'the coolest place in the whole of Sunnydale' made her feel more lonely. She never had been a 'party-girl', usually she just had fun watching people dance and studying them in order to fix details she was going to use in her characters when she was on the stage. But now she couldn't do that anymore. Another thing she had lost in her life. But she didn't want to think about that just now. She couldn't let herself be depressed, she needed Spike in the best of his shape, not a 'too worried about her to defend himself properly.

Eventually a couple of songs later, she moved her head in order to relax her neck and she saw some colors walk between the people she couldn't see. "Thanks," she whispered. At least something to keep her mind away, especially from this song.

She took her stick and moved toward the light. She bumped into a lot of people as she walked, but the white stick meant she didn't have to explain why. She hoped the vampire would be too busy to notice her walking right toward him.

His colors demonstrated how distracted the demon was. All the colors he was showing were screaming to Lilea about hunting. Or at least Lilea hoped it was a "he".

Lilea unfastened a couple of buttons of her shirt in order to expose more of her neck. Then she crushed against the vampire, pretending being stumbled.

"I… I'm sorry… Did I hurt you? I'm really sorry…" 'It is a so good thing being an actress sometimes' "I was looking for the ladies-room and…" She was also able to blush. Her acting teacher would be proud of her. "God, I'm so sorry".

The unaware vampire's color became triumphant. Well, he could easily go back to his booty later, and take this girl in a second, and this girl seemed so young and tender. An easy bit. He stared at her breath, a little raced, while she was still against him, he could feel the light pressure of her chest against his one.

"If you need any help, I can escort you."

Her voice couldn't be faker when she answered, "Oh, thanks so much, I'm quite new here. You're so kind…" Lilea wondered if she was pushing the stereotype 'talking to much silly girl' too far, but the vampire didn't seem to question it at all.

She played with her free hand against her neck, brushing it lightly.

The vampire guided her to the back of the club, talking to her and making sure she had no doubt about his kindness.

Lilea could tell from the lower noise level that now they were in a more secluded place. A moment later the vampire stopped walking. She felt him lower his head toward her neck.

She stepped back with the sweetest, fakest smile on her face. "There aren't any people here… aren't there?"

"No one, " he said with a very hungry voice.

"I hoped that… I… wanted … I mean I'm quite shy…" She moved her free hand on his shoulder, while the other one held the stake more firmly, ready to use it.

"Oh., don't worry, sweety, no one is here…" From the little roar she understood he had just put his game-face on.

Her voice become suddenly more decisive. She lost all the silly sweetness of a couple of moments ago.

"That's what I wanted to know." She hit the vampire violently with her elbow at the moment she felt him bent toward her neck.

He moved back, more from the surprise than from the pain. "It seems you wanna to play."

"Play isn't the word I'd use. But yeah… this is want I mean. My neck doesn't need any piercing in it from your teeth."

They were loke two boxers studying each other in the ring. They were moving in a sort of circle.

"What do you think you can do, sweety, against me?" The vampire was almost laughing.

"Test me," she answered when he tried to grab her. She used her stake as a weapon, but the vampire seemed a little more skilled than the average of demons she had fought. The fight seemed very fast, but this didn't mean it wasn't very violent.

She felt silly for not checking the room before starting fighting when she found herself for trapped a couple of times by two big wooden boxes.

"You fight well, sweety, but I do it better."

"I'm not sure, buddy." She remebered what Spike kept telling her. 'Hide your fear. When you start to succumb, vampires can feel that, you can't let them know.'

She tried to dust him but he intercepted her stick, then she didn't know how, but she found herself on the floor. Her stick fell noisily at the other side of the room.

The vampire hit her face violently.

"So… now I'm going to have what I came for." He opened her shirt a little in order to get better access to her neck. He was going to enjoy this drink.

'It's so good having a fighting teacher who doesn't respect the rules' was Lilea's thought when she took from her pocket a lighter and moved it close to the vampire's shirt at exactly in the same time as she felt his teeth against her neck. She could feel them cut her skin, but he never tasted her. The vampire became a ball of fire before he realized what was happening.

She stayed lying on the floor for a little while. This time she went too close. This time she really was scared.

For the Goddess, fighting alone, without Navarre's help was so different. She hated it. All of it. She wanted so much to end this stupid game. She wasn't made for fighting. She was an actress, a singer, she was ready for a musical career, not for kicking demon ass! She wanted to be with her Navarre, away from this stupid Hellmouth, without having to think about the Night coming.

And yet she knew she couldn't do it anymore, all she could do now was fulfill her duty. Protecting the Key, until he could stop the end of the world. She wondered if Spike ever realized how much she envied him. Both of them, the soulful vampire and the other Slayer. And how much she hated them for not being honest with each other.

She warily stood up. She had no clue where her stick was now. She had heard it knock against something and bounce a couple of times, farther off. Last thing she wanted to do now was check the floor inch by inch looking for it. She leaned against the wall, walking toward the music.

She didn't realise people were looking at her strangely. She had a big mark on her face and she was all messed up, and not having her stick people didn't realised she couldn't see, so when she knocked against them, they pushed her away roughly, thinking she was drunk or on drugs.

"Navarre, come back… please come back," she kept whispering all the time.

_**-O-**_

Buffy was still dancing. From her position she didn't saw Lilea walk away with the vampire, and she probably wouldn't have cared much. She knew how the newest slayer fought, and she had Spike as her teacher, probably one of the strongest vampires around. He was one of the few who killed two slayers. She was learning from the best.

The music was good, funny and the Scoobies were trying to dance in the most ridiculous way to dance she had ever seen in her life - no wonder Xander was always hurt, doing those silly movements. But then, before she realized what he was doing, Xander took her arm and made her do a pirouette.

Something took her attention and she moved away from Xander's grip, turning. A guy pushing away a girl. He wasn't violent, but it made her angry anyway. The girl kept her head lowered, without really seeing the man. Her dark hair was covering her face.

Buffy stared at her for a second, then she ran across the Bronze.

"Lil… What happened?" Buffy moved Lilea's hair from the girl's face, noticing the tiny trace of a blood trickle was rolling down from her mouth and neck.

"I lost my stake…" Her voice trembled badly but the girl was trying to smile anyway. "Can…" she sniffed a little, fighting back the tears, "Can you help me to find it?"

God, this girl seemed so much like Dawn - they were both brunette, they had the same color of eyes, and so often Lilea had the look Dawn had when she needed a hug and she didn't dare to ask.

Buffy caressed her hair as her hoarse voice replied. "Sure I can. Do you know where you lost it?"

The brunette nodded. "I was fighting there," she gestured with a hand behind her back. "The vampire said he was escorting me to the ladies-room. I think it's somewhere near a the second door or something."

The slayer was staring at the young girl in front of her. She took her hand, moving slowly toward the quieter room. Lilea's expression was heartbreaking. She had that look again, the one she had when Navarre left. The look of a person who has lost everything. Her injuries reminded Buffy of that time she was hurt by a vampire, not even one stronger or quicker than her. It was the time she forced Spike to tell her about the other slayers he killed. The Death Wish. The thing she was losing, the thing she had almost forget about. But the Death wish was present in Lilea.

Did Lilea think about letting herself get killed?

She had won the fight… she was still alive, but from the hunted expression she had in this moment she probably did.

"We have to clean your face, or Spike will panic if he sees you like this." Buffy spoke with kindness still caressing Lil's hairs.

"Is it that bad?" She sniffed again.

"I've seen worse, tomorrow your smile will be the same." She helped the girl to sit on one of the wooded boxes. She caressed the girl's cheek. "I'll be back in a second." She walked quickly toward the ladies room sink, where she moistened a handkerchief under cold water, then walked back to the other girl.

Lilea sat in the same position she had done the night Navarre left, her forehead resting on her knees, which were pulled up against her chest. Her head rose when Buffy returned.

"Lil, tell me what's wrong." Buffy was starting to really worry for this girl who was no longer a stranger to her. She could feel the loneliness of this girl, she now knew her painful secret, but always guessed Spike was really helping her. But lately, even the slayer noticed that, Lilea's espression saddened when she looked toward the vampire. And Buffy thought she knew why. If they really shared that dream, even this girl must have seem herself being killed by her boyfriend. And that wasn't fair at all.

Buffy cleaned the trace of blood from the corner of the younger girl's mouth.

The girl breathed deeply. "They thought I could deal… but I can't. I'm not able…" Her voice cracked in an awful way.

"What are you talking about?" Was fear what Buffy's saw in the other girl's eyes?

"I think they thought a witch slayer could be more effective in saving him, but I am not. I can't even fight with a simple vampire, so how can I save him from that monster?" Strange, she was trying to explain and it all seemed to becoming more complicated.

"What are you talking about? Lil, you're babbling."

"I'm not. He's coming. I know that! And I still haven't got a clue about how I can to save him." Lilea's face had a horrified expression of fear and helplessness.

"Who's coming, who's the one you have to save?"

"Promise me that if I will fail you'll protect him. Please Buffy, promise me." The plea in her voice was almost unbearable. Lilea seemed even younger when she had this expression. The girl held Buffy's arm, closing tightly her eyes tightlty as if to shut out some horrible images.

"I will. I promise." She caressed the girl's head again.

"Buffy, don't tell Spike, please... "

"I won't." Buffy's gaze moved from the girl. The stick was some feet away, she saw it behind one of the boxes, so she picked it up and put in Lilea's hand. "Lil, Spike knows you keep some secrets from him... and he's worried."

"He's right, I have a couple of secrets, but I'm not going to tell them, until he keeps his ones."

Buffy's voice tried, in vain, to seem casual. "He has secrets?"

Lilea studied Buffy's colors "A couple too. But they are positive secrets, I promise." Then the younger girl stood up. She took a deep breath "I guess we have to join to the others... God, no wonder they hate me if I keep behaving in this way," she said, moving toward the music.

"They don't hate you!"

Lilea grimaced. "Sure, tell your sister! She can kill me with a look!" Then she laughed. "Buffy, she has very shiny colors to me... and I'm sure she doesn't like me at all."

"I'm sorry… I'll speak with her." This time the other girl laughed loudly, covering the injured corner of her mouth.

"Don't be. She hates my being with Spike," she almost laughed again, "but you hate me more." Then she stepped into the other room. If she just could see that, she wouldn't have missed Buffy blinking twice, too shocked to say anything back.

"Where in hell were you? I was worried!" She smiled instead of answering.

Spike's tone changed and he moved closer, caressing her face, carefully around the mark. "What's happened? Where's Buffy?"

Lilea kissed his cheek, smirking "Thanks for teaching me to cheat. I love playing dirty in a fight." 

_**To Be Continued!**_


	34. Chapter 33

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 33**

Lilea, Willow and Anya spent the next week - the most of the days and part of the nights - locked in Willow's room. Sometimes the Scoobies heard them laugh, sometimes yelling something more worrying, but no information left the room about what they were doing inside. Spike was extremely worried even if he covered it with sarcasm.

Tension between the new slayer and the strong wicca vanished completely. They made jokes no one else but Anya laughed at, speaking almost in code. Even Giles started to complain about Lilea being late, leaving training sessions early and working alone at the Magic Box .

The trio left out the room sort of giggling, although if the three girls were tense. Lilea had a strange look on her face, worried and sad, but also nervous and fierce, but no one downstairs cared about that. When they arrived in the dining room, every one was silent. The only sound in the room was from the TV. It was happening again. Monsters were appearing all over the world. People had died. A lot of them.

"Oh my God," Willow whispered.

Some of the Scoobies turned to them.

Lilea listened to the news, which was reporting how badly the people who died had been injured. But the only sound she could be able to concentrate on were the screams that threatened to drown out the live-reporter voice. Her voice trembled badly. "How many…. How many people died?"

"Thirty-four - seven were kids, one a pregnant woman," Spike fulfilled her.

"Spike…" Buffy tried to shut him up, but the young girl shook her head.

"No, it's ok, I needed to know that." She breathed deeply a couple of times trying vainly to erase those screams from her mind.

Willow moved toward her asking if she was alright, and exchanging meaningful looks with Anya.

Lilea nodded silently. Then after some seconds she whispered "Showtime" before speaking again. "Giles, are you here?"

"Yes"

"I need you to make a call for me. I need to speak with the council. I suppose that Mr. Travers is the person I should speak with."

"Lil, what do you have in mind? They want you quite dead, remember?" Spike pointed out with a mixture of worry and rage. This sudden decision, or what he thought was sudden, was confusing him as much Lilea's expression.

"I am 'bloody' sure they won't kill me." She paused. Fire was in her eyes. Fury? Foreboding? "Buffy, may we use your phone?"

"Sure." The slayer answered doubtfully.

Giles touched the girl's shoulder in order to let her know he was there. "Do you want me to call now? Lilea, it's the middle of the night there," he almost whispered, as if this was enough to prevent the others hearing.

"Better. They won't argue much if they are sleepy." She paused, turning toward the slayer's color. "After the phone call, Buff, I need to speak with you. Alone. Can I join you on patrol? I promise I won't need much time."

Buffy looked at Spike's expression before answer. He was tense, his jaws contracted. He ever took his eyes off friend.

"Sure… Lil, what's going on?" she muttered vainly, waiting for her answer.

"And later I'll met Anya and Willow at the magic shop. We need to take care of _**THAT**_ thing. Tonight."

Lilea spoke as if she didn't hear Buffy's question, or maybe she really didn't. She seemed completely focused on a plan. She was the only one who knew about it. Even Willow and Anya seemed a little confused at her requests.

"Lilea. I. Want. To. Know. What's. Happening." Spike was obviously trying, quite vainly, to seem calmer then he actually was. Lilea could see his colors spin with darker energy.

"Don't held your breath, Spike. I'm not gonna to tell you," eas her curt comment.

Lilea closed her eyes when the vampire strode towards her, grabbed her shoulders and yelled. "What in hell is happening to you?"

Fury and tons of emotions were displayed in the youngest slayer's eyes. "I'm tired of people getting killed. That's what is happening here. And I'm tired of waiting for you to stop acting like a jerk and start showing you have balls. You're brave? Show me that, because you seem to have forgotten that you are," she answered cryptically and sharply.

"What in hell are you talking about? And exactly when did you become so bitchy? This isn't like you!"

"I am what I need to be just now. A bitch. There isn't time to keep the rage down. Right now I need all of mine. We haven't got time to be polite." She paused for a second. "Giles - the call."

Giles stared at Spike for a long moment, then he moved into the kitchen, without adding anything.

The newest slayer seemed to follow the sound of his steps.

The vampire lit a cigarette and breathed its smoke as deeply he could.

"I should go there, take her, chain her somewhere and torture her until she tells me everything she has in her darn stupid head. No jokes this time. She… Bloody women! What's wrong with them? Mixed signals everywhere! _**ALWAYS**_! How can a simply vampire, a male vampire understood what in hell they have in their heads? I should break them and see what's in inside."

He took another drag of his cigarette again, aware that all the people in the room were watching him. "I'm going to kill her. No one minds, right?"

He was mad. Hurt. Lilea had suddenly started to change her mood. For a moment she had seemed like Buffy last year during the fight in the building before they demolished it. Or the day in the alley behind the police station. But there was no sexual tension this time, just hate. Or maybe hate wasn't the right word, but he wasn't going to stay there waiting for a definition or an explanation for what was happening.

He started to stride across the room with big steps toward the kitchen. He needed to speak with her just now.

Willow almost ran at his side, stopping him. "I have no idea who he is, but Gulthias is here in Sunnydale. Or he was earlier… then he moved." She explained.

"Alternate dimension, probably," Anya added.

Spike's hands flew to Willow's shoulderss "What?" He held her violently.

"Ouch… Spike…"

He released his grip. " Sorry, I didn't realize. Are you ok, Red?."

Willow nodded.

"Damn it, damn it, damn it! Why didn't she tell me?" His face lost in a moment all the rage which was replaced by worry.

"Who is he?" Buffy breathed, moving closer to Spike.

"The demon who killed Navarre. I suppose he's here to finish his duty."

"Kill Lilea?"

He nodded. "Darn! Stupid, stubborn, proud kid! "

**-O- **

"Lilea, are you sure? They just seemed to be ready to accept you as a slayer."

"Giles, how many times have I answered? I am pretty darn bloody sure. Is that enough? I have a couple of things to tell to your watcher council. And I don't wanna be unkind with you so please dial the number of the chief of that thing and give me the phone to me." Then she realized she was being really very rude, more in the last five minutes than she had been in her whole life. She hated not being polite, but Gulthias was here and she had very few time. And she was going to solve that thing with Buffy tonight because she didn't know if she would have another night. She needed to do that right now. "Rupert" she whispered "I'm really sorry, I was… am mean to you and the others… But right now I don't know any other way for this. Please… can you help me?" Lilea held the watcher's hands. She wished she was able to stare him right in the eyes in order to show him how honest she was.

"I'm still not sure what you're going to say to the council." The British man told her, moving toward the phone.

She gave a big smile. "Just trust me. I'm solving troubles. Believe me"

"I want to emphasize that I'm against this. You should speak with the Scoobies and Spike before doing anything. You don't know them. The council is dangerous."

She again smiled a bitter grin. "Believe me. I know what I am doing. Even if it doesn't seem so."

"Slayers… all stubborn as mules!" He dialed the number breathing deeply. "Quentin? Rupert Giles here. I'm sorry to disturb you so late. But there is someone that needs to speak to you." He paused. "No, I'm sorry, she said she couldn't wait for tomorrow…. Yes, the slayer. No, not Buffy, Lilea, the newest one."

Lilea grinned. "Tell him I'm the one they tried to kill."

This girl had definitely spent too much time with Spike lately. "Lil, you're not helping here." Giles shut her up.

Lilea just smiled. She knew she had a point, their attempt to kill her was something she could use to her benefit.

"No, she didn't tell me anything at all. She isn't telling anyone else, either."

"Giles… I can tell him everything, he doesn't have to have it second-hand news from you."

"Quentin… Lilea has a point here… speak with her, please." The watcher put the phone in the girl's hand.

"Hello?" She paused. "As Mr. Giles said, Mr. Travers, I'm sorry at having to wake you, but I expect you want to prevent the end of the Day as soon as possible." She paused, letting her words ink in. "I can stop it, I have the knowledge, I have the power, I have the wherewithal, I know when I have to act. Now I want to offer you my conditions for doing that." Again she paused. "You better to get paper and a pen. There are a lot. I would prefer you not to forget anything."

"Lilea what are talking about?" Giles was horrified. She was acting like the most unscrupulous business man in the world. She was trying to save the word by making demands. Even Faith in her darkness moment hadn't acted like this! "Give me the phone back!"

"Trust me," she whispered and she started speaking again on the phone.

"First at all, of course, you mustn't try to kill me again, that's obvious… then, I think you know that in the last year Buffy has had some financial issues. She had to find a not so good job. She had to leave the college, and so on. Well I don't want this to happen again. That's why I want a written contract with you with the following clause: First, Slayers and their friends have to have a medical insurance. If they get a simply cold patrolling they _**HAVE**_ to be cured without needing to pay anything. And, of course, a life insurance. If anything happens to Buffy, Dawn will have not any trouble. I want, no, demand that you pay Buffy's college fees and Dawn's too. I want an adequate salary for slayers. Of course Spike told me about Faith incident… She's not working at moment as slayer so she can dispensed until she start to work for the good guys again. Of course Buffy is going to receive all the overdue payments…. Please Mr. Travers - if you interrupt me I'll get confused… and this call isn't going to be end until I remember everything, so you'll have to ask questions at the end. Where I was… payments… Then I want Spike to be paid as a watcher. Even after my… expiration date, if I can call it like that. The other Scoobies will decide if they want to be paid or not. Their decision. In order to be clear, Scoobies are Spike, Dawn, Willow, Anya and Xander. At the moment… They can change, last year Tara was one too. Maybe someone will take her place. Spike, as I said, will help even after I've gone, I'm pretty sure of that. Oh, I'm pretty sure Mr. Giles will love having a raise, I can't see his face just now, but it works… Now do you have any questions about my conditions?" Lilea heard Giles' steps almost running in the other room, she supposed calling the others. "Look, I trust your word, since Giles said you Council people are gentlemen. It's not what I would call you, but he's a nice person. So if you have any questions about my conditions this is the moment to ask me… As I said, they need to be covered from any kind of accident. Look in this way. If something will happens to one of them, you don't want _**slayers **_unable to patrol for months because they need to do paid work instead that slaying demons, do you? And Spike? Spike is the most useful ally you can ask for, helped Buffy a lot, and train and watches me now. He deserves to be paid…. Not at all. I refuse to have any other Watcher. The last one who looked after me tried to kill me. I don't trust your organization _**THAT**_ much. So, I can assure you I have the solution to this mess of the Nightcoming. Of course, I'm not as silly to share the details with you." She breathed deeply "I give you thirty seconds in order to decide if you want to accept my offer. Otherwise I really don't care. I can let you solve the problem all alone."

She paused in order to listen to his arguing. Her face was still very resolute.

"I can say the Night coming is going to be stopped in sixteen days. Even if you should agree and I don't keep my word, the world will end in twenty days. So you don't need that money anyway. I tell you that things will get worse for the next two days, then everything will be calm again. If what needs to be done isn't done then, since the morning after everything will be doomed. So the ball is in your court now. You can choose now- you have 30 second from this moment." She started to count mentally. She close her eys tight in order to stop seeing the colors were quickly approaching the kitchen door. Her heart were pumping faster than she remembered in ages. She felt so alive.

"Ten, nine, the offer is closing… seven… you'll be responsible… five, four, three, two…"

"Stop counting… I can't do it. We have rules." The yell from the phone was heard in the room.

"Well then I have to go, you know, I have just twenty day to be alive… I have to make plans. Will you kill yourself or will you let a demon kidnap and kill you? And your family? Have you any kids, Mr Travers? You know? I guess right now I'm a lot luckier than you. At least I can't see all my word be destroyed."

"I'm sure you're deceiving me!" Again the voice could be heard in all the kitchen.

Lilea smirked for a moment. The man on the other side of the phone heard her smile. Her voice turned for a moment into the real Lilea's "You know? I really love cheating. It makes me feel sexy. But cheating now would be stupid. I'd fool you for what? Having two weeks of what? No one know the end of the world is near. My life wouldn't change. I still have my demons to slay, in either case. I believe my death isn't so far anyway, you know, it's slayer thing." She stopped, realizing the she had allowed other people to hear her thoughts, so she breathed again deeply and added, "So, you had a lot more than the thirty seconds I promised you. What's your choice?"

"All right, I agree. You're worse than Summers."

Lilea burst out laughing. "I take that as a compliments, Mr. Travers."

"You didn't ask for anything for you, did you realize that?"

A smirk appeared "I'll ask for something at the next apocalypse. They Scoobies said they are quite common around here." This time was the old English man the one who laughed.

**-O-**

The room was still silent and motionless people watched Lilea hang up the phone with a smile. Then the sound of Spike's big and hurried steps broke the incredulous silence.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Spike was trying to remain as calm as he was able.

"Tell you what?" She smiled candidly. She had to close her eyes as so not to see his color spinning crazily between rage and hurt. "Tell you that we know how to stop the Night? I'm not gonna to tell you, yet. The ritual is almost ended but not completely. But this was the only chance I had to negotiate with the Council."

"Told me that Gulthias is in Sunnydale."

Again she had to close her eyes, this time she was the one who didn't want to be watched. "Technically he's not. And I know he is not here for me, this time." He was close. "Spike, I love you, and I love the way you take care of me. But I'm not a child. Sometimes I'm the one who has to stand up and take the decision." Her voice almost vanished before the end of the statement.

Spike took Lilea's hand in his, caressing it. "But we're a team."

Funny, his voice seemed almost childish, this time. Like a small, lost little kid.

"The 'bloody' best team around," she whispered, leaning against his chest, holding him tightly.

When Lilea stepped back, she saw Buffy's pain. Darn, the Slayer still didn't understand the truth. And they had such little time.

Lilea had to do something. She couldn't let Spike avoid the topic further. She didn't want Gulthias to spoiler the "news". She couldn't let Gulthias be the one who revealed Buffy's feeling to Spike. She didn't want Buffy to tell Spike she loved him back when it was too late, as in Lilea's dream. He had to do that! He had to tell her about his soul! And tonight Lilea decided she was going to "force" the revelation a little bit. Probably this wasn't the most correct thing she could do. But it was the most right. And then Spike was the one who had taught her to cheat. He would kill her - she smiled – well he'd have to start wait in line for that.

**-O-**

"Lil, why did you do that? You must know how powerful the council is, and how dangerous they are…" Buffy spoke for everyone. They were quite astonished. Not one of th Scoobies had actually ever thought about asking the Council for money. Not that it wouldn't be useful, but this was completely unexpected.

The girl stayed silent for some moment looking for the right words for explain herself.

"When I heard the news, earlier, I decided it was time to act. Sadly we can't do anything for another sixteen days, but I had to use all the rage I have for something useful. I don't want you guys to have to worry about money issues when you've been saving the world for so long! And I was shocked when Spike told me about Buffy's troubles last year with money. It's not fair."

"But Giles helped and I have a job…"

"Yeah, true… but it's not right, anyway. You risk your neck every time you leave that door. What if something happened to you? What about Dawn?"

"My father will take care about her.."

"I'm not a child… I can …"

"Not until you finish scool!"

"It's not fair. You had to work hard in order to help Dawn when she was in hospital. They can pay tons of watchers and not one Slayer and a bunch of friends?Willow was the one who find a cure against the Night… And Anya read the prophecy. She asked around about the Night to demons, not the watchers."

"You've got a point…"

"And how many times has Xander had to ask for a day off work to help? He needs to be covered too."

"Ok, ok… we understand but why didn't you ask forsomething for yourself too?"

Lilea paused. Then her eyes glowed with a malicious look. "Give me a stage, I'll have all the money I can ask for. My "_**wonderful**_" voice will win me win some Grammies someday…" She joked. "No, honestly, Willy said if I need money I can sing at his bar. And I have some contacts in Vegas too… and I learned how to cheat at kitten poker." She paused again, become serious. "I think they will pay me. Anyway, they aren't stupid, they will understand… and I wasn't very clear about myself, so maybe they will count me like the other slayers."

"You're a strange one…"

She smiled. "Yeah, what's new?"

"I'll get paid for what I already do for free? That's wonderful!"

_**To Be Continued**_


	35. Chapter 34

**Thanks guys for reading and also thanks to people who reviewed the story... I couldn't answer to the anonymous ones... but THANKS!!!!! **

**DISCLAMER:** I'm still without the second & additional Beta-reader so please again... Don't kill me!

**Chapter 34**

Buffy was pretty nervous when she closed the door behind Lilea and herself, half an hour later. Willow and Anya said that they were going to go to the Magic Box in a few minutes, and probably Giles was going to follow them. Probably Dawn too, but she promised she wasn't going to be back home late. They left the Scoobies discussing how ethical it was to decide to be paid by the Council. Spike, after the phonecall was strangely quit, and the girl that was walking at Buffy's side just now seemed more tense ever.

Maybe she had to be brave and start to speak? Gosh, what could she say? "You did a great thing earlier. Thanks." Well, this was a start.

"It had be done. I can't believe nobody did it before." She smiled. "So, no thanks needed."

"You have no idea how much I need money… Counseling on the Hellmouth - no figurative speech here - isn't so lucrative… and I don't want to ask my father for anything, even if it's for Dawn..."

"Yeah, I can understand that."

Again the silence screamed between them.

And Buffy was the first to speak again. "As soon as I have the money I'll give Spike back the money he gave us for Dawn's medical bills."

Lilea stopped for a moment, watching her in wonder. "You knew about that? Did he tell you? When?"

Buffy shook her head, then remembered and explained. "I overhead Spike and a doctor speaking about it in hospital at the time. I was shocked. I never told him I know, but I really mean to give him his money back. Why do you think he did it, in this way, without letting me know what he did?"

"What do you think?"

Buffy paused for a long moment, pondering her answer. "I really don't know. I don't seem to be able to understand him, lately."

The youngest girl smiled. "He changed, I suppose, but I can't believe he changed that much."

Buffy seemed miles away when she added, "Yeah, he changed."

Lilea breathed deeply. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

Buffy's "Sure" wasn't so certain.

"Sorry if I seem a little brutal here, but… gosh, Buff, you know what he feels and you know what _**you**_ feel. Why can't you two simply speak to each other? A real heart to heart conversation!"

Buffy shrugged "I don't know what are you're talking about."

"Well I suspected you might be in denial, but this is much worse I thougt. You know what is the reason why he came back in Sunnydale."

"To get Giles and me to help you?" Buffy answered uncertainly

"Yeah, sure!" The youngest commented ironically "Hallo? Vampire! You think he couldn't find a safe place for us, if he really wanted? He protected crazy Dru for more than a century! You know where we were living before we arrived here? In a very comfortable cave with a demon who taught me how to survive without sight. Both of them trained me very hard… for me to be ready."

"And the point is?"

"The point is we didn't need be here at all! We are here because of you." Lilea's voice seemed exasperated

Buffy froze. Was the young girl jealous of her? Was that why she wanted to speak?

"Well, he knows I can have a sort of power with the Council and the Initiative…"

Lilea snorted. "Ok, then I'll try another way. The night we slept at your place, you two slept together, didn't you?"

"Yeah" 'Be careful Buffy, check your words.' "But you have to believe me… nothing happened."

"Well, something happened, because when I saw Spike later, he was the happiest and the saddest I saw him in ages!" Lilea was trying to calm herself down. All this denial was just making her crazy. And she had to keep her self-control so as not to tell Buffy things that only Spike should do. Like about his soul.

"Believe me, Lil, I will never do anything in order to take him away from you…"

"You can't 'take him away' because he's not mine. He never was, never will be." She tried to explain calmly, but Buffy interrupted her, with a desperate, genuinely sorry and guilty intonation in her voice.

"No, that's not true! He loves…"

"You." Lilea paused for a second, a huge smile on her face. "He always will."

Buffy wanted to argue but she couldn't find the words: Lilea had just lost Navarre. She had Spike now. She couldn't steal to this girl also the only person she cared for. She had lost so much in the last months. "I don't love him," she lied.

Lilea frowned for a moment. Then she smiled, even wider. "Yeah, that's why your colors become crazy every time Spike just enters in a room, and why you hate me when he touches me, or looks at me. Buffy, you don't have to lie to me. Not about this. Why aren't you honest? That's what I can't understand. What in hell are you waiting for? Sooner or later it could be too late… and you'll have him back…" She paused. Her voice changed, coloring with sad pain. "God Buffy have you any idea how much I'm hating you, just now? You and Spike?"

Buffy felt like the lowest person in the world. She had a sister, a wonderful watcher acting as her father, the best friends she could ask for, and the only person she could think about was the blond vampire loved by the girl in front of her. "I tried… I tried so hard in order to forget him! I just can't avoid…" She paused before revealing too much. Then with a guilty expression she added, "But I'm trying to, Lil. I will forget him."

"Are you crazy?" Now Lilea was yelling. "You have this wonderful feeling and you want to just forget it? Like an old toy?" She breathed deeply. "Have you any idea what I'd give to have what you have? A wonderful person who loves you so much… Someone alive… well in Spike's case not dead. God! Buffy, run looking for him and tell him. Tell him everything you feel."

Buffy looked toward her, as if Lilea could meet her eyes. "I can't..." Her voice trembled.

"Why not?"

"Because… I'm scared to death," Buffy whispered after a long pause.

"He would die rather than hurt you again… he's not bad… he's… he can be the sweetest guy I've met! Goddess forgive me but he can be even sweeter than my Navarre." She paused, smiling. "Believe me, I swear on my own life. He's not dangerous."

"I… sort of know that… I feel he's not evil anymore. But his power over me is so scary… God I can't tell you that!

"Please… I wanna just try to help you… both of you."

"But why!? You love him and I feel so bad for loving him and …" Then she realized what she just said. "I didn't mean… Oh God…"

Lilea stayed silent for a long, seemingly endless moment. She was smiling, then she moved toward Buffy, and she caressed her face. "You said that. That was hard to say… sorry for being so pushy." She smiled. "Buffy, look at me… I have to tell you the truth… I love Spike, so much... I can't even tell you how much. But" She paused in order to emphasize her words. "I'm absolutely not in love with Spike… Not at all! Never. Spike is for me as Dawn is to you…"

"Dawn is my sister"

"She's not, but one day you decided that she was. I decided Spike is more than a friend, more than a brother, maybe even more than a lover. I have in only one person all the love you have for Giles and the Scoobies… He's my Scooby gang all alone." She smiled again. "I'm not the one you should be worried for."

Buffy stayed silent for a long moments. So, if Lilea was right, Spike was still in love with her. God this was even scarier.

Fear, panic, hope and relief - that was what Buffy's colors were showing to Lilea. "What's that scared you like that?"

"I'm not scared" The last word was barely pronounced, stopped by Lilea's expression. "Ok.. ok I'm scared, happy now?"

"You know why I'm speaking with you? Because he's even more scared than you…"

Buffy's voice trembled. "He can hurt me…"

"He won't..."

"Not physically… I'm not scared of that at all. But he can touch me inside… I was always an open book for him… I could lie to everybody, even to myself…but he always knew the truth. He saw part of myself no one has any idea I have… Not Angel nor Riley… I know that if I count on him, if I let him come too close… I will never able to survive without him! I can't let him have this power over me… he…he would break my heart… like everyone I love… I know… I can't stand it if he leaves like … the others…"

"I can't promise you he won't leave… Neither he can… and if someone tells you he can… he's lying. Let yourself have what you deserve, Buffy. Let Spike love you."

"But he… you know what he did… how can I trust him?"

"You let him be there for you in the hospital when you needed him, you let him share your bed… you know you can trust him. Ok, you have a point… it's not easy… but it's not easy for him either." She paused for a moment, trying to explain in a better way. "William never had any relationships. When he was human, he kept to feel in love… But girls weren't very "nice" to him. He was so innocent, a jerk – he still is in love stuff – but awfully innocent, until he met Dru. The person who taught him everything about love, or what he guessed was love, was her. And when I say Everything… I mean that, capital E." She let Buffy absorb the revelation.

"You mean he was…"

"Not even a kiss… and he will kill me for telling you that!" She laughed "Buffy, he was still able to change so much just for you… he was still so sensitive, even as a souless vampire with a chip… you know what he's capable to doing… but he can't do miracles by himself… Dru taught him for a century that if you want to show people how much you love them, you should chain them up and torture them until they won't love you back…"

"I never thought about that… he chained me once… it didn't impress me in the way he hoped." Both of them giggled.

Lilea smiled again "And since I did this…let me be more bitchy and manipulative than ever… Buffy, can you pretend to be mad, very mad?"

"Yeah…"

"Ok then, find him… and ask him why he didn't tell you… That you found out… that I told you… and you're so mad he hadn't the courage to tell you."

"Found what out?"

"His secret"

"And this is about?"

"Hey, I keep my promises… I'm not telling you… but tell him I told you everything about his 'trip'. He will be so mad with me, that he will made it slip without any effort from you."

"You're evil…" Buffy burst out in a fake scandalized tone.

"I know…I learnt from the best one. I told him I love cheating." Lilea breathed deeply. "Buff, can you tell me how you're dressed?" The girl's voice had just changed. No more joking or helping but distant and whispered.

"Trousers, a shirt and a duster."

"No, sorry, I meant what colors?"

"Black, I'm dressed all in black."

"Spike had the deep red shirt on his dark t-shirt, earlier, hadn't he?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Can I give you a last warning? Be very prudent later, when you both will go in the crypt…. Not Spike's another one… An enemy will appear during the fight. I'll care to do my part. But you have to kill him. For me. For you. There will be a sword just behind him, you can kill him. He is only allowed to shoot one poisoned arrow, it's the rule. And about Spike… Tell him, tell him everything, all the doubts, all the fears. You'll be stronger sharing them with him. You both can fight harder, you two are fighting the same battle. Buffy… Please take care of him, for me."

"Lil, now you're scaring me… what in hell are you talking about?"

"You sound like Spike when you speak in this way… I suppose it's not a good thing…"

"You're speaking as if this is a goodbye."

Lilea moved again toward Buffy, holding her in a hug that made the official slayer feel uncomfortable.

"Lil, is this something to do with the dream we shared? How your dream ended?"

"How did yours end?"

"I dreamed Spike killing you." Buffy whispered.

Lilea smiled. "Spike won't kill me. Ever. Trust me, trust him. Always." She stopped for a moment. Then again, with a joyful voice, added, "But after Spike'll reveal his secret, tell him I didn't tell you. I don't want him to think I betrayed him."

"Of course I will but, Lil.. what's…"

"We're close to the Magic Box, aren't we?"

"Yes it's at the end of the block… but…"

"I really need to go inside, then… You know I need to … I need the bathroom," she lied. "See you later, ok?"

"Lil, we need to talk more…"

"Whatever this is, believe me, it can wait. Speak with him. and pretend to be mad and be convincing. He will speak in a second. He needs so much to tell you his secret; everything will be clearer after. Now I really have to go."

"You need me to walk you there?"

"Go looking for Spike, I'll see something shine in the shop. It's not easy for me to miss it. Run. You haven't much time."

And before Buffy could react Lilea moved toward the light colors shining at the corner of the street.

_**To Be Continued**_


	36. Chapter 35

**Chapter 35**

Buffy started to walk away for several steps. Something was definitely wrong. She felt that. All of Lilea's speech about being too late with Spike… was he trying to do something stupid? God, this is Spike we're talking about. He always does something stupid!

But all the secrets Lilea seems tp be keeping from people lately: not telling Spike that the demon was in town, the haste with which she decided she needed speaking with tha Council, her last words that sounded so much like a goodbye. Were Spike and her thinking about leaving? That was the secret?

They were leaving? That's why Lilea forced her to admit her feeling?

Oh shit…

And Buffy started running. Faster and faster. That idiot! He can't just leave! Not again! I can't let him go away again. Not again! NOT NOW! Now without speaking with him.

"Spike!" she yelled, hitting the door of his crypt too hard. The door fell to the floor. "Spike!" Nothing - the place was empty and it sure didn't seem as if it was about to be left. She could see thet the place still looked 'lived in'. If they were thinking about leaving they sure hadn't started to pack yet.

"What in hell! What did you do to my door?"

"I… Sorry… I overreacted."

"Yeah, I can see that." He paused. "Lil?"

"At the Magic Box."

Spike walked toward the sarcophagus, and put on it the paper bag he had in his arms. A couple of cookie boxes fell down unnoticed.

We have to move -- I've found a nest of young vampires in the first crypt. They don't seem to have started hunting yet.

"Oh. I thought we could talk."

Spike froze. Buffy never asked that of him. EVER. They did talk, but had never had a "can we talk" conversation. "Talk?"

"Yeah, you know that thing you do with your mouth that you're so good at…"

Spike smirked, his head tilted to one side, she couldn't give him a line like that and expect him to just let it got.

"We didn't call it talking, luv." His voice deep and sexy in a way she wasn't used to any more. His tongue caressed his own canines, as if he was tempted to bite it to stop himself from making the joke.

Buffy looked into his shining eyes and blushed violently. She knew he was just having fun with her but she couldn't help to feel butterfly in her stomach.

'Stop focus on his mouth, you… you're supposed to be angry with him… not drooling over… about his mouth, focus on chat.' "I didn't… I meant… " She breathed deeply a couple of time before adding "Why didn't you tell me?" Only a breath.

'Denial - whatever she meant deny everything!'

"I don't know what you're talking about" He strode toward the door. "Hurry up, those vampires aren't going to wait long before they go hunting."

Buffy stared after him as he walked out the door, without caring or waiting for her to join him. He was trying to escape from her question.

"Spike!" she yelled behind him.

He walked so quickly that she almost had to run so as not to be left behind. The vampire sure had no idea how much this made Buffy's anger grow more quickly.

"You stupid vampire! STOP AND SPEAK WITH ME!"

"Yell louder! The vampires inside might not have heard you coming, yet."

"Why is Lilea the one who told me? Why couldn't you just tell me that?"

"What in hell could I tell you? 'Oh, by the way, luv, I went to Africa, got my soul back, just so I could be something you can love?' Oh please, this is pathetic!"

Buffy froze. She stayed motionless for some time.

"You got your soul back…" she whispered, making a real effort to not look for something to lean against. She needed to think, she needed to breathe.

"Yeah, bloody surprise, isn't it? That bitch! She was supposed to keep her mouth shut! She'll pay for this!"

Spike was too angry to notice Buffy's reaction. He kicked the door open, starting to fight as soon he entered the crypt.

Buffy walked in slowly, her face very pale, still in shock. "You got it back… How?"

"She didn't tell you the whole thing? Bloody women! Damn her, damn you all!"

One of the vampires rolled on the floor from the knock Spike gave him.

"Are you two here for fighting each other?" he asked, trying to raise himself.

Another one looked toward Buffy. "She's human, she breathes! And seems tasty"

He tried to attack her and even though she hadn't exactly recovered from the shock she was able to kick him away.

"Ouch! What in hell are you?"

"Slayer…"

"You're real? I guessed you were a legend…"

"Too bad for you I'm real… and mad." She looked at Spike again. "Why didn't you tell me? You... IDIOT!"

_**-OO-**_

The two witches and the demon girl raised their heads almost at the same time; their faces were triumphant.

"We did it."

"So, this time is certain, the ritual is done!"

"We're the best magic team around here, and we can be proud…very proud of ourselves. We saved the world. Well… we will."

"Lil…" Anya's voice cracked, her happiness suddenly wiped off from her face.

The youngest girl sighed. "Just in time... what luck!" she said ironically. "Tell Spike... tell him she deserved to know... that whatever is going to happen is worth it. And his being happy will be my happiness." She stopped. "No, don't tell him. Tell him just that this is my revenge."

"Are you ready?"

"No.. but we've no time. Come on., that's my wish! And don't blame yourself. I decided."

Anya voice trembled, then her features morphed into her demon face. "Your wish is granted. Good luck..."

And suddenly in a puff of smoke the youngest slayer vanished from the Magic Box.

Teleportation. She had never tried that. The strange sensation of feeling yourself vanish and reappear, although still incorporeal as she travelled across town.

The dizziness deepening in her stomach was growing, as the fear of what was going to happen, the knowledge that she wasn't going to survive was scaring her again. Ok, this was her mission, her destiny. She knew that. So... what in hell - be brave!!!

_**-O-**_

Lilea landed in the crypt unnoticed, probably still incorporeal. Buffy and Spike were fighting a bunch of vampires, six or seven. Not that they seemed to care about it much.

"Why didn't you tell me!? You... IDIOT!" Buffy yelled at Spike, without stopping punching the others vampires.

"Why should I? Does this change anything?" he answered with an angry voice.

"Yeah! It does! Of course it does!" Buffy seemed ready to lose her temper completely. 'How can this stupid idiot vampire not understand how important this _**Thing**_ is?'

"Yeah, sure, just because I have a soul now I'm suddenly a good man, right?" Spike's voice was a mixture of rage and pain. 

"Yeah... no... I don't know! But I deserve to know!"

"Why?" He dusted a couple of vampires, then he looked at her. She was fighting with no hurry, probably not even focusing on her duty, but she was using this fight to release the rage she was feeling about his revelation. So, after making certain she was pretty much able to keep the situation under control, he leaned against a coffin, staring at her.

"Can you two argue later?" One of the vampires, the tall one, very slim and with dark hair asked with an annoyed tone. "You two are distracting me!"

"And this is a reason to stop? Hello? I have to kill you." Buffy pointed out.

"Yeah sure... if you're not too busy fighting with your boyfriend," the dark vampire snorted.

"Hey! He's not my boyfriend, he's a…" She needed some seconds to find the right word. "Jerk!"

She missed the amused smile on the blond vampire's face "Buffy..."

She glanced at him, he was now simply watching the show of a slayer fighting. "So... are you going to help me or do I have to take care of this alone? I'm so mad with you: I can't believe that you didn't tell me! We slept together and you still didn't find the time to say you gained your soul back?"

"You slept with a vampire?" One of the not so dangerous vampires asked with a disgusted expression on his face.

"I said slept, not having sex!" she answered in her defensive tone.

Spike was having real fun. "Actually we had sex too," he added with a casual tone.

"Yeah, but that was a long time ago. It doesn't count now."

"Sex with a vampire? What kind of slayer are you?" Again the few vampires she was fighting look scandalized.

"Yeah, and I wasn't even the first..." Again the amused tone in his voice.

If looks could kill Spike would be dead just now.

"Ewwww!" was the unanimous reaction from the wanna-be-dust vampire.

"You..." She turned toward Spike. "I'm going to kill you later."

"Yeah yeah..."

_**-O-**_

Lilea could hear this love/hate dialogue. Spike trying not to answer the slayer question, typical. She smiled. Avoid the topic if you can't speak about it. Move the attention. Typical of Spike. But his colors were shining in a nice way, becoming more brilliant. Rage and fear were dissolving. He was strangely relaxed. Buffy's were a mess. No doubt she had found out about his soul, she knew now. Poor sweetie, she was so confused. But even in her threat to kill Spike love was so evident.

Then a strong light appeared not far from her. Dark and obscure. Threatening. All his hate and the scorn he felt toward the lovers was so evident, that for a moment Lilea felt paralyzed. Then she noticed a small, dark light, with no emotion in it. In her dream Gulthias had arrows of the same kind that killed Navarre, so she thought that was probably what she was seeing. She could try to kick the evil demon, but she wasn't corporeal yet. She had only one option. She concentrated hard on her wish: 'be there to save Spike from the arrow', so that was what she had to do. She started to run, as fast as she could.

_**-O-**_

Gulthias knew after the last killing of a demon that killing him wasn't going to kill the feeling. So, this time, he was going to change. He was going to shoot the girl. No demon can love for ever. Demons aren't supposed to love humans.

The arrow was shot in Buffy's direction.

"Demons and humans can't love each other. A Slayer who loves a demon must be killed," a threatening voice thundered.

Spike, Buffy and also the few vampires they were fighting turned toward it. They saw another demon point a crossbow at Buffy, too late for the Slayer to see the threatening arrow flying toward her. Spike noticed it just a moment earlier than Buffy. He hit her, violently, putting himself between the arrow and the woman he loved. He felt blood run down his neck, then he fell down. But there was no pain, just a weight on his chest pushing him against the ground.

The vampires attacked the Slayer, taking advantage of her being down. She reacted in a flash, dusting them in just a moment; then she turned again toward Spike and Lilea.

Lilea? What was she doing here?

The youngest slayer tried to sit up. "You should have killed me..." She breathed to Gulthias.

"Oh, this will do it very soon..." He laughed.

"You won't kill them, I won't let you do that, not again."

"Silly human girl, you're dead. You're nothing."

Spike moved closer to his friend. He held her firmly when she started to tremble badly from the pain. She raised her hand toward the arrow that was embedded in her shoulder. All around it her skin was changing color. She could see the destructive effect of the poison that the arrow contained flowing into her body, she could see her shoulder becoming dark purple, she could see her veins gradually becoming visible to her eyes. And the pain, a dull ache increasing.

So this was the horrible death of Navarre. That was what her lover had felt just some minutes before dying. That would be her fate now.

"Lil... Lilea... speak to me."

Buffy ran toward Gulthias even before he had the time to realize the incoming danger. He certainly wasn't aware of the Slayer's speed. She hit him, over and over again, barely taking the time to breathe.

She could hear Spike's voice calling their friend and the girl's screams when the vampire extracted the arrow from her shoulder.

Buffy moved fast, even faster than usual. The rage born from seeing Lilea's almost senseless face, and Spike's desperate one made her even stronger.

Buffy took the old sword she had noticed earlier and without listening to what the demon was saying she cut his head.

The demon's head rolled on the floor and his body still seemed to walk some steps before collapsing. Then his body and head started to boil and a smelly smoke raised from it, leaving it melted in a dark puddle, and in few seconds nothing of Gultias was left but a couple of spots on the floor.

Everything moved so fast that she barely had time to notice that she had no idea how Lilea had got there. She ran to her side. Spike was holding his friend as if she was the most precious treasure.

"Lil…"

"Now tell me she doesn't love you…" the girl whispered with a smile.

"Don't speak… We need to take you to hospital." He moved in order to take her into his arms and carry her fast.

She moaned for the pain. "No… They can't help me, Spike, human haven't any cure for magical poison. I knew what was going to happen…"

"What did you do?"

"You two… I can't let her suffer what I went through… You're what she deserves… She's what you deserve." She breathed deeply with pain "You killed him?"

"Yeah," Buffy whispered. "He's dead"

"I thought I could see again when he died." She stopped for a moment trying again to smile. "But this doesn't matter right now. Does it?"

"Lil…"

"Don't worry about me, Spike, I'll… be … fine … there… It's cold… isn't it?" She was trembling, her smile vanished into a expression of pain. Her nails scratched against her jeans in a convulsion, when the ache became too much.

Spike glanced at Buffy. His face wet of tears he didn't even realize were rolling down. He was watching her as if he was asking permission, Buffy gave him a ghostly nod, then he exposed more of Lilea's wounded shoulder, his face morphed into the vampire mask and without any further hesitations he sank his teeth around the wound, sucking it with all his strength. Spike sank his fangs every time deeper, sucking more keenly every bite, spitting the poisoned blood on the floor. If it had killed Navarre probably it was dangerous for a vampire too.

Lilea gasped and arched her back, her eyes opened wide in pain, surprise and emotion. Even in her state so close to death she was overwhelmed by the unexpected pleasure waves the bites were emanating. God, that was intense! She stretched her hand toward her best friend's face, caressing his cheek, her hand trembled violently but she managed to have the trace of a smile on her mouth.

And Buffy stared at them without moving or speaking, feeling absolutely powerless against this heartbreaking scene. Then a sudden realization came to her. She recognized this as the end of her nightmares. So she had never dreamed about Spike killing Lilea, but trying to saving her life.

_**To be Continued **_


	37. Chapter 36

_One Chatper to the FINAL!_

**Chapter 36**

Buffy tiptoed silently out of her room closing the door behind. She walked toward Willow, who was bringing a couple of cups of tea on a tray. "I thought this could be useful."

Buffy smiled at her. "Yeah… well I need it. Spike finally fell asleep. It's the first time he's slept in days."

"How…?"

"Better." She smiled again. "Lots better – that's probably why he was able to sleep."

"So, she knew. Everything."

"Yeah, Lilea knew the demon was after Spike and me."

"And this means…"

Buffy's smile this time was different.

Willow could see the tears behind her friend's eyes.

"Funny isn't it? He has a soul. Again I am in lo… I feel something for a vampire with a soul."

"Spike has a soul now?"

"Does it change everything? I mean…" She covered her face with her hand for a moment ."I don't even know what it means!"

"Don't push it, I mean, take it slowly. Whatever, it will be sorted."

"Xander will hate me…"

"Actually who cares? He is the one who's still dating Anya… He's the last one who can talk…"

They were silent for a little while. "Did you sleep, last night?"

Buffy nodded. "I slept a little. I think one hour on the couch downstairs and a couple of hours in Dawn's bed this morning, after a very late patrol. There isn't much to patrol. I think the vampires from two nights ago will be the last for a while. No demons around."

"Are you going to join us downstairs or stay here?"

"I'll have a shower and then I'm coming. I'm quite starving."

The phone rang a couple of times before Dawn picked it up. She almost ran to reach Buffy. "It's the bank… Something happened there."

"'llo? Buffy Summers… What? How much? Oh God… Yeah I was waiting for some money from England but… I think I need to sit down. I didn't know it was _**THAT**_ much. Are you sure there isn't a mistakes?"

Willow watched her expression change. She carefully set the tray down.

Buffy was pale when she ended the call. She stared at Willow for a moment then hugged her tightly.

"Breath, I can't Breath!!!" the red witch warned.

"We got the money… The Council paid up."

"So she set this up too?"

"Yeah…"

_**-OOO-**_

"You're an asshole." The vampire almost shout against the girl.

"And you a pigheaded." She answered back.

"You are…" he stopped for a moment, looking for the right word "evil!"

A big smile appeared on the girl's mouth. "I learned from the best one, luv."

"You're so dead!" Spike added shaking slowly his head, pointing at her with a finger.

"I'm not… and you saved my life" Lilea smiled more widely.

"Just because I wanted to kill you with my own hands." He rushed to add.

"He keeps repeating me all the time… he never did" Buffy commented from her position against the door.

"Oh, slayer shut-up!" He shouted without looking at them.

"Which one?" Lilea asked with a forced innocent voice from her spot under the blanket.

"Not you! You told her! How could you!" Spike wasn't pretending. He was mad, and hurt. He felt betrayed even if a part of him was relieved, Lilea could see it from his colors, but still he felt so bad for Lilea's choice. As usual when Buffy was in a room his colors were the most complicated ones to understood. Strangely were shining, and no more mess was in them. Her heart was open for him, and this was the highest reward for Lilea. She had won her personal battle.

"I didn't. You did! You were dying to tell her!" Lilea explained calmly.

"That's not true! I just confirmed what your big mouth wasn't able to keep secret." He spitted with rage.

The young woman made her face rest on her knees. "You're so funny. " She smiled again. 

"I'm not funny! Take it back!"

"You are and you're lovely when you're so mad." She whispered with a big smile on her lips.

"Buffy, tell her something." He tried to look for help toward the slayer, his feeling were almost hurt.

"Why? She is already winning this match." Buffy was making an effort not to laugh. She didn't want Spike to think she was mocking him but he was so sweet. She couldn't help smiling.

"Which side are you on?" He was almost horrified Buffy wasn't defending him, at least this time where a betray was so obvious.

"Actually, hers." Buffy smiled wider and explained, "she was the one who figured out how to make you confess without any effort."

"What? I didn't confess…" He was confused. Both girls could tell that, but actually his confusion made him even cuter.

"You did… at the first try… The only thing Lilea told me was you had a secret… and she told me to tell you she spoke…. Evil, ingenious and smart plan. Did I thank you for that, Lil?"

"You're a so… bitch." Spike was half scandalized and half incredulous about Lilea's idea.

Lilea burst out laughing "Yeah, Spike I love you too." She yawned and moaned for the effort, the shoulder still was hurting as hell. "Can we stop arguing now? I'm tired and you have something to do."

"I have nothing to do. I can still argue with _**Evil**_ slayer." He emphasized the plural.

Lilea smiled denial mixed with fear of revealing to Buffy his feelings, what sweet jerk. Lilea finger pointed to Buffy, but her head was still watching toward Spike's colors. "You know why Gulthias showed, don't you?"

The vampire shrugged, his rage vanished like snow under the sun. "Maybe he was wrong…"

"Can you two guys stop talking in code?" Buffy asked without understanding where the dead snail-like demon fit in the topic. Ok before shooting the arrow she heard him say something but she didn't focus on it. Everything happened too fast. Later she actually tried to ask Spike how Lilea knew the demon was going to attack them but the vampire didn't answer. She meant to ask to the girl as soon as possible, but she still hadn't had time. And both the sick slayer and the vampire were not paying much attention to her just now.

"You're a Jerk!" She shouted and for the effort she started coughing. Spike moved closer in a second but she pushed him away. Her face became serious, as never before that day. "He couldn't be wrong, you know that! You… you're a coward, I'm going to sleep now. You, both of you, need to talk."

"Can I understand something too?" Buffy asked again now a little disappointed.

"No," Spike answered harshly.

"Hey, it's still my home! And be gentle with the girl… She saved your life! And that remind reminds me. We were too distracted because we were fighting. YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!!!!"

"We wouldn't need to talk about _**THIS**_. I already explained, didn't I?" The guy paced out of the room as if the slayer was standing next to it.

Buffy breathed deeply trying to recover from the new waves of rages, then run behind him grabbing his arms and closing him and herself in Dawn's empty room.

"That wasn't an explanation!" She closed the door, while the vampire moved several steps from it, without facing her. " Why didn't you tell me?" Then she paused an additional moment, trying to recover from the rage she felt inside for the vampire's omission. "Why, Spike?" she almost whispered.

He paced, almost furiously toward her and for a moment she thought he was going to kill her. He stopped only one step away from her, his hands moved on the wall at both sides, of Buffy's head, his face just few inches from hers, but his eyes were no able to look at Buffy's.

"Spike," she breathed, without even knowing if he actually heard her. He was motionless and, before he moved, time seemed to have stopped.

"Because of this." Spike took the step that was keeping separated him from Buffy and his lips touched hers. Just a butterfly kiss.

When he stepped back he still had his eyes closed. His arms now leaned against his body. When he eventually opened them he saw Buffy, her eyes still closed, an inscrutable expression on her face.

Slowly she opened her eyes. Spike could swear he saw tears in them, then Buffy crossed out the distance between them, leaning her head against his chest.

"When you were away… I couldn't understand why it was so difficult, but I thought I'd find a sort of equilibrium. But when you came back… I realized that my balance was fake. I was trying to have everything under my control, because it was easier - the job, the slayer-thing, even training Dawn with no guy around, no additional friends, just the Scoobies. Something I could call safe. Or maybe sometimes when you're pretending you're ok it's easier." Her voice was just a whisper.

"Buffy, you don't have…" Her finger was lightly laid on his mouth with a sort of caress and she stepped back in order to look at him better.

"I wanted to tell you so much… and maybe even insult you, and kick your ass so badly… for leaving in that way, without any words, without the opportunity to explain or talk about what happened between us. But you stayed with me in hospital, and don't think I don't remember that you were there. Dawn was dying and I was so grateful to have you right there, without asking for nothing, just giving the force, the power to survive, of not giving up my hope… then you seemed to have vanished again, I knew where you were and I knew I could come to your place and find you… but I didn't. And I thought you and Lilea were a couple. But, again at your place and then at Giles', you seemed so close to me. It hurt so much, because when we talked I felt wonderfully… but I still didn't realize. And yet I didn't realize until I saw you risking your life against Riley… and you suffer in that way… your head and your arm…"

Spike felt Buffy stiffen and hold herself tighter to him, as she remembered the consequences of Finn's little show.

"… and then you slept with me, held me… I knew I felt alive again. In a different way. I felt complete… And I understood that…"

"Buffy…" This time he whispered.

"But you pushed me away… every time I tried to make a connection and you let me believe you and Lilea were... a couple…"

"I never said anything like that!" He tried arguing.

"But you were acting as if it was true... how could I know you two weren't?" Her voice trembled with emotions.

"Maybe by asking?

"Like you asked me?"

"Buffy, I don't even dare to think about it… How can I hope… not after what I did." Spike's voice showed every regret he was feeling, and so his gaze was still hunted by guilty.

"Stop repeating this. We left that behind. I don't even want to remember that. It wasn't you, it wasn't me. It was a mistake. Period. I'm not going to go over it. _**EVER**_." Buffy voice was exasperate again his face and his look hurt her too. She could feel the pain he was feeling, when his eyes moved away from hers.

Buffy stepped, raising herself on her toes. Her hands slowly moved, cupping Spike's face, forcing him with all the sweetness she was able to stare again into hers eyes, then her lips brushed his mouth. "If you don't love me, or if you want to leave tell me now, because I couldn't bear the idea of being so close to you, and losing you again…" She whispered against his lips "I need you to know, Spike, because if I open myself more to you, and you're not serious in this…" She paused a moment her head leaned again against his one "I'm afraid Spike… because I can't control myself, my feelings."

"Oh God." His husky voice made her shiver, there was so much emotion in it, desperation and hunger for her, and maybe fear, but also hope and over all, she was sure, love.

But he seemed unable to express it with words, so he took Buffy's head in his hands, holding her firmly, moving it away so that he could stare at her.

No words, just a look.

And then again their mouths found each other in a passionate, sweet, hungry, tender, endless kiss, while his arms closed around Buffy in a strong, warm hug that was full of meaning. Spike's hands moved under her shirt, taking turns in order to hold her and touch her skin. Then his left hand moved toward Buffy's lower back curves, pushing her against himself, the other hand moved up along her side, with a sense of possession, brushing slowly touching her around her breast, her neck, her face.

Buffy tensed when Spike's hand touched her body. She moved away slightly so that he could touch her more easily and let him have better access to her curves. Her hand slipped under his left arm, caressing his back and grabbing his shoulder as if she was never going to let him leave, her other hand moved under his shirt, her nails scratched on his naked skin.

Passion, again, after so long. But this time it was different, it was love. For the first time they shared both at once. One year ago she needed Spike in order not to feel dead inside; now, in this mix of passion and Love (with a capital L) she felt alive. This was so different from anything else she had felt in her life. And part of her head started wondering if just a kiss made her feel as much emotions how making love with Spike could affect her. But this time she didn't want to rush. Not today.

She moaned with disappointment against his lips when she had to stop the kiss, in order to breathe. Even with her eyes closed she felt him smile.

"As a first kiss that wasn't bad." He said in a pretended casual tone, caressing her face.

"First?" She looked at him with wonder.

"It's the first time you really meant it, luv." Spike explained with a smirk on his face.

Buffy moved her head a little in order to look straight into his eyes. "I never was able to hide anything from you. How can you do that?"

He didn't answer quickly, Buffy saw that he was going to tell her something serious, but then he stopped. His eyes shone in the semi-darkness, with a malicious light. "Because I'm brilliant, sexy and intelligent: you can choose the order…"

"I'd say modest above all." She joked.

"True… Modest! My best quality."

"Spike?" The vampire looked at her. Her face was suddenly more uncertain; she was chewing her lip. "Dawn will be going to sleep at Janice's in a couple of hours… so since my bed is taken… and I'm really tired… I suppose you're tired too…" She blushed furiously "You think we could… I mean just sleep… What I'm trying to say is that I would love to make love with you… but not now… with Dawn or other people that can enter in the room at any moment, but I prefer not to sleep alone…"

"It's ok by me. I would be very happy to share the bed with you, even without adding any additional… fun" He said but his eyes were shining.

"Since when were you so patient?"

"Since the moment you were serious with this thing." Spike realized he said that aloud so he tried to cover his embarrass adding "I'll probably need a dozen of cold showers during the night, and you too… but I can resist _**ONE**_ night. I already did once… if you can… can you?" 


	38. Chapter 37  THE END

**Thanks guys for reading this story untill the very end. And Thanks for all the review! (especially ****Becca1806!) **

**Chapter 37**

_**Fourteen days later. **_

"The pentacle is drawn on the ground…" Willow set the chalk on Lilea's hand.

"Good, We need to make it powerful, so it can open the portal toward the day."

"Have you any clue how we can do it?" Buffy asked her, while her fingers were absently laying with Spike's hand.

"As the prophecy said… everyone will help, so you all have stay on the pentagram, Whatever is going to happen inside the circle _**NEVER **_break it, until Willow says so. Dawn, Spike, Buffy and I will be inside the circle. I could need Dawn's energy if I feel a little out with mine." She looked toward the slayer's color in order to reassure her. "Don't worry it won't hurt and not harm her in any way... she will feel a little tired but nothing more."

"How do you now that?" The slayer asked, even if she trusted her friend.

Lilea scratched her head embarrassed. "I just know it. In my head everything is pretty clear. It's like if I've already done it."

"What about us?" Buffy asked trying to avoid the feeling of fear she had.

"Spike's soul will bring the day back… and your love, Buffy, will make it possible."

"Hey, she doesn't love him!" Xander shouted without thinking.

And at the same moment all the people in the room but Lilea, who still feel a little unwelcome and embarrassed by the guy's hatred for Spike, said "Shut up, Xander."

"What about you?" The vampire asked after some silent second.

"I'll be inside the circle." She said smiling, avoiding a real answer.

"Doing what?"

"Don't be suspicious, luv." Lilea made the word roll on her tongue in the same way Spike was used to. "I have to recorder a CD with some Clem's friends… I don't want to do anything dangerous… and I want to meet again Buffy's principal…" She turned toward the older girl. "I can, can't I?"

"Of course you can, he seemed quite interested into you." Buffy answered quite enthusiastically.

"Hey, I don't want the principal to be around my place! Can you wait until I graduate?" Dawn asked a little disappointed. "My class-mate will kill me, if my brother in law's sister dates with Wood."

"Don't avoid the question. What are you doing inside the circle?" Spike was quite focused on Liliea's tentative of avoiding a simple question.

"Actually I don't know… I'll improvise something." She shrugged.

"Am I the only one who doesn't like the idea of improvising while fighting the apocalypse?" Xander asked rhetorically.

"No you're not." Spike's voice was glacial.

"I suppose I have just to make the amulet and Spike's communicate somehow… it's something about the Nam –I don't know what languages I'm speaking - thing."

"When did Clem asked to sing with his friends? And who are his friends?" Spike was again in his big brother mode, but still Lilea's strange behavior didn't have a good impression on him, especially alter the latest time she kept something secret.

"Oh please!!! Since you're with Buffy you're worse than ever!!!! Even if you're not with me 24/7 I can keep my self safe, you know that? And then it's Clem we're talking about!" Lilea was smiling, even with her eyes. She didn't seemed worried at all.

Xander's clock sounded breaking the discussion. "Sunset in 5 minutes."

"Ok, everyone in the right place." They positioned themselves. "Light the candles. Concentrate about the day… let energy flue inside and outside yourself. You're are just energy." Lilea extracted the amulet from her pocket and set it in the middle of the small circle Dawn, Spike, Buffy and herself made.

She moved it toward Spike, her face changed expression. She seemed to loose completely the sense of reality. It was just like the previous time when she "connected" with the day. Everything around didn't matter. She could see Spike's color focus on what she guessed was his soul. All the energy around them was growing. She could see Spike's color interact with Buffy's, in a strange way, it was as Buffy's were protecting him, keeping him safe, from danger. But there wasn't supposed to be any danger for him. His soul should have called the day…

The ceiling seemed to open, Lilea wasn't sure if other saw it crumble too. Ground started to tremble.

"Hey this wasn't supposed to be an apocalypse!" Xander shouted.

"Spike are you ok?" Buffy asked with worry.

His face morphed in a painful expression, and then his vampire face came on and off several times. He was fighting against a invisible enemy.

Lilea started to speak aloud again that unknown language, in her prospective the time had different length. Everything was happening in slow-motion for her. She could hear voice, scream and then a voice she remembered from her dream.

"The soul is a key... he has to keep it… help him.. if he loses it everything will be doomed."

Tara's voice.

"Oh god…."

Lilea could hear Buffy's voice yelling Spike's name in slow-motion.

"You're so soulful, love! With all your soul" and in that moment Lilea understood.

Soul par soul.

She moved toward his best friends and suddenly the time was normal again.

"I need energy… all you guys can give me!!!" she yelled. She moved her hand on Spike's chest. A thunder resounded in the room. Earth trembled again. A light enfolded the vampire and the youngest slayer. "Fight Spike, for you soul… I need you to help me too."

Buffy and Spike's fingers entwined and they seemed to burn.

Lilea could see the fire from them, was that the spark of a future new life?

Lilea grabbed the amulet from the ground, holding it to her.

Her body started to floeat toward the ceiling. Her head almost brushed where it was the overhead wall then all the light in the room vanished, she crushed violently against the floor.

The Scoobies felt a wave of energy through their body

"It's done." Willow whispered. "The Night is stopped."

Buffy helped Spike to sit down, forcing her shoulder under his arm. "How are you?"

"We were burning…. But it didn't hurt… it felt nice…" He spoke with a real effort.

"I know… Are you ok?" Buffy was caressing his face, even paler than usual.

"Just a bit confused." He moved his gaze on the other slayer. "Lil?"

The girl was staring at them without moving her eyes from the couple. Giles moved in order to help her, and she smiled at him before he was close. "I always thought you were a charming man… Mr. Giles but you're more good looking and younger than I thought… If I could have seen you all this time, I'm pretty sure I would had a crush on you…."

"Lilea what…"

She turned toward Buffy and Spike, the expression on the vampire face let her know he understood, not why but what happened. She bent her head to her side, slowly standing up and walking toward him. "You're exactly how I thought you were." She moved her hand slowly toward his scar. "Sorry, luv, I don't speak Chinese… so that's her present…"

"On my God, Lilea you can see." Buffy moved closer to her and Lilea smiled at her too. "How…"

Lilea moved one hand on Spike chest. "I kept it safe… Spike's soul is still here…"

"Lilea what did you do it?"

"Everything is connected… so we all are… your soul wasn't different from anyone else's." She whispered.

"Lil, what did you do…"

"Eyes for eyes…"

Spike closed his eyes. "Soul for soul…"

"Oh my God…" Buffy's hand clasped on her mouth. "Lil what did you do…"

"You stupid bitch! You're human, you're not supposed to be without a soul… you're not…"

"…Gonna survive." Lilea whispered.

Buffy frowned. "Can a human being survive without…"

Buffy met Spike eyes, they were full of tears he was fighting to hold. "No… she can't."

Lilea closed her eyes for a moment, she smiled but her lips trembled. "Spike said that when you died you went to a nice place." She was looking at Buffy, "warm, no pain, you felt complete…" The girl let herself lean against his friend's body.

" Why did you do that?" Spike was caressing her hair, holding her tightly.

"A slayer in order to force you to have your soul back, one slayer to keep it safe… You're gonna to do great things, Spike." The girl stiffened against his body. Her hand clasped his jacket.

"Lil…"

"Don't be sad… I can feel it, Spike… the peace…" She was smiling, no pain this time.

"Lilea… Don't… speak to me… don't feel it! You can't… You don't have to go there! Look at me!"

Lilea turned her head toward Buffy. "Take care of him… for me."

Buffy's eyes were covered by a veil of tears, but she nodded. "I… will do it, I promise…"

She smiled again to the vampire who was hugging her tightly. "Goddess, luv, you have an hug that kills girls." The sound that came out from Spike's mouth was a mix between a laugh and a sob.

Lilea caressed his face with a moony gaze. "Love you… Spike. I will protect you…" She moved her eyes on Buffy's womb "the three of you."

Then she smiled, while her head rested against his chest.

**THE END**

Please don't hate me too much for the final :p Even If I just brooke my "Always an Happy Ending" Rule! Let me know if you liked it, what you think about this story!! So please Feedback me!!!!!!!!!! A lot (hopefully)!


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